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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

weaning at 3 months

116 replies

queenmools · 04/09/2015 20:51

This thread is unashamedly judgey and I am aware that there is another weaning thread ongoing atm but I am so aghast at what I heard today that I feel the need to discuss it with you all.
I was at a childminding training course today, during break time a lady started showing pictures of her "clever" 12 week old son eating his beef stew last night! A lady on the other side of the room then piped up with "have you already started weaning?" I was expecting her to say how that was not a good idea but no she then said " I'm glad I'm not the only one" she went onto explain that her baby ( same sge) was just so hungry and therefore was ready for solids.
iabu to be so shocked that seemly intelligent women, who are training to be child minders, have so little regard for current guidelines?

OP posts:
dustarr73 · 04/09/2015 21:28

My eldest son is 20 and back then it was from 4 months.So thats what i did.But my 3rd son is and the guidelines where 6 months,so i went with that.And i have to say the difference was really obvious.The 6 month old was ready and was much easier to feed and he didnt have the gag reflex.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 04/09/2015 21:29

... And stop being so aghast that you had to discuss it on here.

dustarr73 · 04/09/2015 21:31

My 3rd son is 7

CultureSucksDownWords · 04/09/2015 21:31

Tbh, I'm fairly amazed that two trained childminders would consider weaning at 12 weeks.

AnotherTimeMaybe · 04/09/2015 21:31

YANBU!

One of the Nct buddies gave beef stew as first food to her 4mo
Yes 4 mo better than 3 but not for beef stew!
There are definitely some weirdos out there when it comes to baby food!

Hypotenuse · 04/09/2015 21:32

I'm glad I'm not alone, YANBU. Why go against clear guidance and case studies, putting your child's health at risk? I don't get the reasoning behind it. I think they think it's fun to spoon feed a baby and do it for purely selfish reasons, for their own enjoyment. Why else would anyone risk it?!

Purplepoodle · 04/09/2015 21:35

each to their own. ds1 we held out to exactly 6 months (ended up giving him ridiculous amounts of formula and lots of tears on both sides), ds2 shoved some toast in his own mouth that he stole from his brother around 5 months so just gave him fingers stuff and moved into spoon at 6 months but it was much less stressful than ds1. ds3 was under 5 months when he snaffled one of his brothers toast or something like that so again just gave him finger stuff with his feeds

BertieBotts · 04/09/2015 21:37

I have to admit that when a mum recently posted pictures of her 13 week old "happily" eating pureed carrot (it was pretty much everywhere but his mouth) in a group local to me I had a very physical reaction to it. I didn't expect to feel so shocked, I mean, FFS, it happens all the time, but he looked SO tiny.

To the credit of the group she was given very, very nicely wrapped firm hints that she should maybe wait a while. Nothing like the early weaning threads go on here, which are sometimes just horrible.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 04/09/2015 21:43

I'm not looking for a fight.

I do, however, loathe the threads started by some looking to shame those who do something different.

SquinkiesRule · 04/09/2015 21:43

Using the "it didn't do me/mine any harm" really doesn't wash.
As we know better we do better. Back in the day, bleeding was good for the veins, and crying was good for babies lungs, beating kids made them better people, there are loads more of these things we did that really didn't harm or kill most people but time goes on and science changes.
Guidelines where we lived when my 21 year old was a baby was 6 months for weaning, and they wanted us to use the baby led method, worked fine. It was a lot less effort than trying to spoon feed much into a baby who still has a tongue thrust reflex.

Marynary · 04/09/2015 21:45

When my children were babies guidelines recommended weaning at four months. Depending on the age of posters on here many, perhaps most will have been weaned at three months themselves. Therefore I find it hard to be shocked/horrifed at the idea of a baby being weaned at three months. I doubt it will have much impact to their long term health.

Shockers · 04/09/2015 21:46

When my 28 yr old was an infant, 3 months was the guideline. When my 15 yr old was an infant, 4 months was the guideline.

The recommendations for sleeping positions were also different both times.

I followed the guidelines.

Both boys are healthy, happy, intelligent individuals.

Stop with the eye rolling about the older generation. We did as we were told... just like you are!

imwithspud · 04/09/2015 21:46

YANBU. 12 week old babies need milk, not solids.

I don't understand the rush, it's like some sort of competition with some mums, as if them weaning their babies earlier means that child is some how more advanced.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 04/09/2015 21:47

Just to add I'm my defence , my babies were all ready to take more solid spoonfuls of food.

I didn't force anything on them.

imwithspud · 04/09/2015 21:50

No eye rolling about the older generation here, you can only do your best with the information available to you at the time.

I just don't get why people now completely disregard guidelines because they're in such a rush to get their babies onto the next stage.

CultureSucksDownWords · 04/09/2015 21:53

Those who are comfortable with very early weaning, can I ask why you think the NHS advise weaning at around 6 months? And why you think it's ok to wean at 12 weeks?

Lurkedforever1 · 04/09/2015 22:00

Exactly permets. And when your baby is ready according to all the normal guidelines, has a stomach distended from the quantity of breast milk they are consuming and yet they still scream with hunger and don't sleep for more than 30 minutes before waking starving, having slept well previously, despite the fact you are producing enough to start a dairy, usual wind methods don't make a difference, and the only solution the hv has had since the first milder signs 3 weeks before is 'buy the hungry baby formula as its more filling', then I think actually it's ok to wean. Especially if your very experienced gp agrees. By 5 months she could crawl at speed, so quite obviously she had different nutritional needs to a baby who was happily not doing much. Just like at 14 months when she wasn't yet walking, she had different nutritional needs to one that could run.
I don't disagree 12 weeks is early by current standards, or even mine, and I'm not saying that it's an age I think many are likely to be ready as standard. And I think anyone who turns something all babies do into boasting rights is a dick anyway, same as I'd think someone saying 'aren't I clever to breastfeed/ use nappies/ a cot' was a dick. But it does piss me off that a lot of posters health visitors seem to take '6 months' as the only applicable part, and discard all the other signs. Its not remotely helpful for all those who's babies haven't stuck to average age to be ready, whether that's earlier or later.

madamginger · 04/09/2015 22:01

My dh was weaned at 3 months as were the guidelines 30 odd years ago, he has horrendous problems with his digestive tract, so yanbu.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 04/09/2015 22:01

Culture are you asking me?

I weaned mind in accordance with the guidance at the time, 4 months and my children were ready for more solid food.

I doubt any mother currently weaning a baby would venture on here to offer her opinion on why she chooses to wean at 3/4 months.

Reubs15 · 04/09/2015 22:05

Some people are advised to wean early due to medical reasons.

Marynary · 04/09/2015 22:06

Those who are comfortable with very early weaning, can I ask why you think the NHS advise weaning at around 6 months? And why you think it's ok to wean at 12 weeks?

Experts currently think that that based on current evidence that is probably the best time for most babies. Although I would follow the guideline if I had a baby now I find it hard to believe it makes that much difference to long term health considering that most babies were weaned at three or four months not so long ago with no obvious ill effect.

blibblobblub · 04/09/2015 22:07

12 weeks isn't even 3 months. Good grief.

My DD is 15 weeks tomorrow. She can chew her fists and her dad's fingers but considering she can't sit propped up on the sofa without slipping down there's no way on earth I'd be giving her anything remotely solid to eat!

These babies must be incredibly advanced at 12 weeks to be ready for solids...

(Saying that, I do know someone who gave her baby rusks at 3 months. I don't judge much but my judgey pants were massive on that one.)

CultureSucksDownWords · 04/09/2015 22:09

I was asking anyone who wants to answer SSCSD, as I'm interested in the decision making process that leads to weaning at 12 weeks. I don't mean people that were advised or supported by a GP/paed to wean earlier than 17 weeks, rather people who decided without seeking any hcp input.

Original poster
queenmools · 04/09/2015 22:13

I'm not trying to shame anyone, I know I'm being judgemental but I've tried not to use nasty words in my op. I'm certainly not eye rolling the older generation both these mothers were younger than me. I'm not talking about what happened in the past, I'm talking about now. I'm sorry if anyone has taken offence ,that wasn't my intention. I did feel aghast and I did feel the need to discuss, it those are my true feelings I'm allowed to have them just as I'm happy for others to disagree. I feel the fact that we are training to be child minders is very important, we are meant to share best practice and educate other parents so should the therefore be fairly clued up.

OP posts:
Original poster
queenmools · 04/09/2015 22:15

I don't think that there was any medical reasons. One was hungry not sure about the other.

OP posts: