Did she call DD fat or am I being precious?

[OhPuddleducks]

Met friend today with my two kids and hers, all similar ages. We were talking about the nearly 4yo old girls. I said we were packing in the buggy board because my girl was nearly at the weight limit (but not quite). She said "oh good that means my DD probably has a fair bit of use left. I was worried she was at the limit too".

Did she call my DD fat or have I gone a bit pfb?! i can't decide if I'm furious or not.

Is her DD significantly smaller than yours?

Hmmm, maybe her daughter is underweight...

Well that depends on if yours is overweight or hers is underweight? Or she's nuts.

Yes you're being very precious. You already stated that your dd is near the limit.

I have no idea.

Is your daughter noticeable taller/heavier than hers? Only you can tell if she was making an innocent remark or getting a dig in.

If she's a normally nice person I'd say she was just making a factual comment. If she's normally a bit of a cow..........hit her with the buggy board! (joking)

Is her DD much smaller than yours?

Is she fat? You must know.

I wouldn't think that at all. I would think that possibly she knows that your DD is heavier than hers. I know that DD's cousin (although weeks apart) is probably 10 pounds lighter than her. He's also much shorter.

I think it would be really good to think about why you are so 'furious'. Is 'fat' triggering to you, do you think your DD is overweight and you're worried, were you overweight as a child?

FWIW DD is heavier than all her peers. She's also taller and perfectly fit and healthy so I wouldn't be bothered at all.

That depends. I don't know the limit on your buggy board or what her child is like. I suspect she was just commenting that her child is smaller than yours, if this is true then you are being precious.

I think you may be a bit pfb, but are you sensitive because you think your dd is on the chubby side?

They are much of a muchness as far as I can see. DD has always been high up on the centiles but is now bang on the 91st for both height and weight.

Friend normally says how nice it is to see her DD and mine playing together because they are about the same size.

She does sometimes say stuff like this that I do t think anything of at the time and then wonder what the hell she was implying later.

She just meant that her DD is smaller than yours, surely? I don't see that as a value judgement.

She sounds like she just realized oh her dd is not at the weight limit and can use it a bit longer. Absolutely fine. You sound a bit sensitive over the word fat.

Well it certainly means she thinks that your DC weighs more than her DC. I don't think it's rude to think or say that, when they're that age.

Sounds like you are both a little obsessed with weight and size. If your children are fit and healthy, who cares? They are 4 FGS.

I think she just doesn't want you to judge her for still using the buggy board. Often what seems to be a barbed bitchy comment is actually a defensive one (but yes sometimes it's just bitchy!).

DD's not fat. She's just lost all her little baby chubby bits over the last year and a bit and looks lovely.

Thank you wise ladies: chalking it up to preciousness. Probably....

If your dd were thin then you wouldn't be posting about this. I suspect you are asking this question because it is something that bothers you in any case.

I'd say precious. Possibly what she said revealed that she thought "your 4 yr old is heavier than mine", it wasn't meant as a hurtful or even an observation as far as I can see. But I wouldn't correct her, if your daughters weight is ok then that's all you need to know.

I think you're being precious.

She might not even mean that she thinks your dd weighs more. She might think they're about the same but might just think that her dd is gaining weight slowly so therefore if she's under the limit then she will still have quite a bit of time left before she gets tonthe limit.

I think she wasn't meaning it in a nasty way but am amazed that you both use buggy boards for near 4 year olds.

Stop and make them walk.

Are they the same height but maybe very different builds if you say there is much of a muchness but she sees her child as lighter?? Growing up me and my Sis were always same height as other children but very, very skinny build so could never 'fit' the age relevant clothes most places sold. Once we hit late teenage we both filled out got more similar build to our peer groups. Maybe you daughter isnt fat but just has different build??