To think fitness and health are not "all or nothing"

[Thefitfatty]

Ok, I'm on several health and fitness forums and most of the posts are from people trying to lose weight and get healthy. After many years of unsuccessful yo-yo dieting, my attitude is gaining the "perfect bikini body" is a nearly impossible goal, and that that sort of "all or nothing" attitude is what makes most people stay in unhealthy habits.

Today on one of the forums, a woman, who has been eating healthier and exercising for two years, and who in my opinion is looking pretty good and healthy, wanted some advice for toning up. I told her to try weight lifting, etc etc. Then this other woman, with a body builder physique, came on and said:
"Toning" is kind of a bs phrase that gets banded about a lot. It generally means a combined reduction in fat and increase in muscle mass so your muscles appear more "defined" (ie you cans ee the muscle outlines)
No offence but you are a long way from seeing any definition."

She then told her to eat "clean" cut out all junk food and alcohol and do intense exercise as often as possible.

In another thread about a woman would though she'd blown her diet, she said: "Im kind of glad so few people have willpower. If they did everybody would be in shape and it wouldnt be as special."

AIBU in thinking that this girls advice is crap and health and fitness aren't "all or nothing?" I feel like her advice is going to make people give up and go back to unhealthy habits? Or am I the one whose encouraging people not to be healthy with my more laid back attitude?

She's asking for "toning" not a 6 pack. A healthy diet, and some focus on ab work and weight lifting, and she'll most likely see the difference she wants in a 8 weeks or so. That's hardly "a long way." Recommending HIIT, tons of weight lifting and clean eating, and telling her she's a long time from any definition without even knowing what the OP is already doing is a bit over the top, and pretty dismissive. The wannabe personal trainer is assuming toning means 6 pack abs, when it probably doesn't.

And if we're going for honesty, not every one can get six pack abs regardless of diet or amount of exercise.

YABU. I've just read the 'other' forum and don't think the poster was rude at all, and nor did the woman who asked for advice.

You forgot to mention that the poster had also advised:

'You need to eat clean, cut out junk food and base meals around lean meats/fish, veg, potatoes, fruit, nuts, eggs

Doing go on ANY fad / branded "diet plan", they will just be a waste of money and teach you poor nutrition habits.

Eat good food when you are hungry and stop when you are full.

Exercise as much as you can, though obv you will need to work up your intensity gradually. Look at doing HIIT and free weights.

Good luck.'

Which sounds like sensible advice to me.

If you're the other poster on that thread having a pop at the woman giving advice, then actually you're the one that came across as being a bit rude. The poster was just trying to help.

However....I can see that you were also genuinely trying to be nice and helpful

The other forum has been edited by the mods.

YABU and projecting massively - nobody mentioned six pack abs but you.

Fair enough.

Can someone tell me where the other forum is. Feel like I am missing out

Having read the other thread, YABU unless there has been major editing. (Those looking can find by just Googling the sentence starting no offence, but tbh it's a short thread).

Toning is a bs word, but what is generally understood to be a toned stomach is pretty hard to achieve for many people (impossible for some) and the OP acknowledged she had some way to go. Looking at the pic that encompasses every definition of toned through 'taut with minimal flab' to 'rippling six pack'.

It's a short thread so no clarification of goals or discussion about what may or may not be achievable, but either way the advice was sound.