To quit a job ive only recently started because my bastard ex works there???

[WalfordEast]

Ive been self employed for a few years, and a few weeks ago an old friend contacted me and offered me a job doing a job I used to do for her, PT flexible hours so fits in with what I need to do for my own business- added with the additional income, so far its a win win.

Last week I found out my ex is working for the same company, and will be relocating to where I am now- and things didnt end well at all. We both did things we regret- but the difference is, despite it being 10 years ago, I know for a fact he will bring it in to the work place- and hes good friends with my manager and a couple members of the team.

Im honestly thinking about quitting- because I dont need my past being dragged up into my life when I have shit going on and I go to work to get away from it. It will create a hostile environment, because he is vindictive and will go out of his way to make sure it does

AIBU? Do I just need to suck it up?

YANBU to think seriously about quitting. Your gut feeling is probably right.

Yanbu to be dreading the whole thing but I'd wait and see how it goes.

No harm in being aware you can leave if you want to, but leaving before you're even encountered him seems a bit premature. It might be fine.

I would leave like a shot tbh.

I'm a big believer in life being too short to engage with dickheads. So if you can afford it, leave the job.

What did/does your friend know about you and ex-p?

To be honest if they're worth they're salt, they won't appreciate him 'bringing it to the workplace' whether they're friends with him or not!

This might be a daft question, but are you sure it's him? Might it be someone with the same name?

Its definitely him. I did a bit of Facebook stalking

Friend knows nothing. As I said it was a mutual thing, he did things I didnt like and Vice versa so no hiding from it and ill be honest if it comes up- but hmmm.

Ten years is a long time, what makes you so sure he will be vindictive now?

Can you talk to your manager and explain the situation? Don't go into any details but say you are concerned because you want to do a good job and want to make sure your ex doesn't affect your chances of doing well.

Priming your manager beforehand may "mark his card".

just a thought ...even if your ex says stuff about you, what will your manager do? Won't they just see it as gossip and tittle tattle?

I think you need to talk to your manager, so that your management team are at least aware of the potential issue, even if they cannot do anything until or unless problems arise.

What sort of company do you work for? Large, small? Decent HR department or not?

I wouldn't lose out on a flexible job like that because of a tosser ex: just avoid him. He may do the same. If he behaves unprofessionally address that at that point.

Why should you quit just because of him? Surely you are entitled to earn money and further your career in a professional environment as much as anyone no matter who works with you?

I'd say suck it up assuming that before this news you really wanted this job. Be professional and keep a high level of performance there, this is all your employer will want to see from you and if the Ex acts any differently then believe me it'll be him who is made to look bad! Besides given that such time has passed it might not be as bad a situation as you might think, I'd even wager that if he knows about you there then maybe he's got similar concerns so perhaps you'll both simply be trying to get on with it instead of fighting with each other?

Certainly don't run away from this opportunity, not without giving it a fair crack of the whip OP!!!