To ask what SAHMs of school age dc DO all day?

[OxfordCommoner]

Because I am one, not through choice. I am recovering from severe depression and anxiety and I'm still too ill to look for a new job (had to give up my old job a few months ago). Up until now I've been attending therapy a few times a week, and then it was the holidays so I had three dc to keep me busy.

But they all go back to school on Monday and I'm dreading the long days with just me and my thoughts.

Please can you tell me what you do during the day to keep busy? I'm struggling for ideas that don't cost money. So far I've fit as far as taking the dog for a long walk and maybe starting to iron again after a ten year hiatus.

Any ideas gratefully received.

This is good ng to be me on Monday.
I'm planning on splitting the week into 10 sections, so mon-fri, am and pm.
Then come up with 10 things.
Food shopping, cleaning, and 3 sets of excerise will be half of it. Paperwork and packing (were moving, DH already gone, so I'm on my own with it) are supost to be 2 more. Hoping to have a slob session, and maybe a social al a ssion, and that's pretty much the week gone!!!

What do you want to do OP? If you've got anything enjoy you've always fancied giving more time to nows your chance you don't have to fill your time with chores and 'worthy' tasks.

This is all making me feel much better about the whole thing, thank you. I'll keep referring back to this thread when I get mired into too many episodes of House on Netflix!

You might find the time goes quite quickly. I do. But is is an excellent time to do things that you would find less enjoyable or plain impossible with the children around - exercise, window shopping, beauty salon, socialising, watching adult TV, cleaning if that takes your fancy! Thing is its only 5 and a half hours. Sometimes I go into London and potter around there, gardening also in the summer can kill off a big slot of time. But I don't really find myself having to kill time, I find the balance between children-centred things and me centred things just right when they are at school.

Suggestions for things to do.
One small but intense cleaning task Eg junk drawer, box in the garage, hoover under the bed, reseal the bath.
Look in a local charity shop for things you like (or could sell)
EBay 1 item a week - doesn't matter how small. It's to declutter.
Learn a language online.

I love the idea of becoming a BF peer supporter, I bfed all three until toddlerhood.

I ride, but don't think I can afford to do it more than I do (currently have a 1hr hack once a fortnight to keep my hand in)c they always welcome help at the stables though so I can volunteer there.

Oh gosh, I'm a temp SAHM, looking for work now too.

So Monday:
cleaned the toilets, or was that Tuesday....

Went to 3x supermarkets to get everything I needed
Brined some pork
Watched friends on Netflix
Bike to school to do pickup 5mile round trip

Tuesday:
Met a friend at the park with her littles, she brought coffee, I took snacks. Got rained out.
May have cleaned the toilets (see Monday)
Made homemade pasta
Finished the pasta filling
Watched friends on Netflix
Car pickup today at school

Wednesday
Made soup
Made bread for soup
Went to school for 2hrs to sort out some stuff for kinder teachers
Had a half hour shower.
MN
Will watch some friends on Netflix
Car pickup as can't be bothered to bike, and it may rain

Potential for Thursday
Will look like, meeting friends at park for coffee.....
Might vacuum, DS2 said I should sweep the floor, I said he should stop dropping food on it. He said ok. We seem to have an agreement.

tbh, I don't do much, but the days do get away from you.

Do you have any hobbies? I started crocheting late last year while on Anti-Ds and off work and it was a life saver. Made blankets for friends who helped us through our rough time, and also little bits to send to local NICU. Made me feel, even though I could only sit on the couch for months on end, a little bit useful.

There are always:

• more books than one can read;
• more languages than one can learn;
• more skills (from DIY to building websites) that one can acquire;
• more fat cells than one can "exercise off"

in my experience.

I did some housework, met friends, met elderly relatives, joined groups, helped in school when needed, studied an OU degree, shopping, watching TV, internet. Sometimes even went back to bed (I had PTSD and severe insomnia and other health issues). Also my DH works shifts so we had time together without DC! Enjoy :)

I work now but when I was a SAHM of school children I pretty much did fuck all.

I napped, did some housework, met friends, read a lot and watched crappy tv, oh and I cooked a lot too.

As I keep up with the housework and do it as I go along when it needs doing I spent most of my time doing what I fancied.

I got bored after two years.

I vacuum and mop daily and wipe down lots of surfaces due to having lots of dogs, two of them dribbly and drooly. Also do lots of dog walks daily and scrub the patio area.

Then there are lots of little jobs that don't need doing daily - cleaning the bathrooms, changing the bedding, pulling out furniture to do a proper vacuum. Washing the windows, curtains, loose furniture covers. Kitchen deep clean and thorough fridge clean. Iron clothes for the next few days. I just do those things as they need doing, which is every few days or so.

But there are also fun parts of being a SAHP - I meet friends for lunch or coffee. I occasionally see a film alone and don't have to share my popcorn. I sometimes leave for school pick up (Four mile round trip on foot) about an hour earlier than I need to and have a mooch around the shops or have a coffee on my own with a book or magazine.

I have to say I don't count housework as any sort of activity, let alone one valid for keeping morale up. I don't have kids, but I do work from home and know the importance of keeping busy. So I

• volunteer in a charity shop (love it and will never give it up)
• see new films cheap in the day on my own (bliss)
• walk for 20 minutes to an hour somewhere green
• one day for doing nothing ie admin and watching dvds
• sewing or something 'creative'

When all else fails, read. Meaty stuff like the newest good novels. Cooking is a real help to mood too, esp if you're trying new recipes.

I am at home for the same reasons. Make sure you do something for your own recovery each day. It will help you develop your sense of self. I do: colouring in a grown up style book, sewing, gardening, running, walks, crochet, painting, reading (including self help books,) although when my depression is bad it's hard to concentrate! I also have a nap as anxiety and depression are really exhausting. I do the school run, dinner, homework and a bit of cleaning but usually save my energy for Dcs so I look normal!
Warm hugs for your recovery!

Thanks Spanky, and to you too x

Our local cats protection always wants volunteers for a couple of hours a week. And I think you can opt just to do the socialising stuff - working with nervous cats that just need some love and fuss, and giving the ones that thrive on fuss some extra cuddles.

(Brilliant, if you like cats).

Having just stopped being a SAHM (dammit, I loved it), I would try to have something scheduled in for a couple of days every week, but I do like structure and having things to do!

Been a sahm for 12 years with a school aged dc. I've enjoyed doing leisure/adult education courses, going to galleries/museums, creative hobbies, sports/dance classes, catching up with sahm friends or family. Have done some voluntary work in the past but gave it up as it got too demanding and too much like 'real' work.

We have lots of groups and classes at the local library. Stuff like free art classes. :)

Oxford I gave up my job a year ago due to depression and stress.
Now I cook from scratch. Slow cooking, batch cooking and home made pizza. Yum!!
Go to the gym three times a week. (To counter the food!)
Get shopping, cleaning and boring jobs done whilst the kids are at school.
Volunteer with the Cinnamon Trust. I get lovely dog walks and chats with the owner of the dog I take out.
Read. I actually get to the library.
Knit socks. Rock and roll me!
Sort house, old clothes and paint my toes bright colours!
Good luck. There is life and happiness out there. xx

BF peer support would be a really kind and appreciated use of your time. I made very good friends with my peer supporters and will never forget their help and support through a tough time. Great way to meet people too!

Yes you need to prioritise getting well.

I suffer on and off from anxiety and depression, mostly anxiety these days. I make sure I do things to relax - facial once a month and regular haircuts as a minimum - and the exercise is a big part of this.
We also have a cleaner so the bulk of that gets done, I get more unwell when the house is messy and dusty so that is money well spent.

Mostly importantly - enjoy your days. Don't feel like you have to impress some kind of invisible committee :)

This is a great thread BTW, thank you so much for sharing what you've gone through OC.

I'm in a different situation as I may also have to stop my very-PT work due to health issues, but my DCs are no longer at school (home ed). But it has really made me regret all the time I wasted sitting on the sofa. Granted I was physically needing to rest a lot, but now I have much less time to myself I can suddenly think of all the things I want to do with that time!

I'm thinking of blogging, I would really like to finally write a novel (I know it'll be crap but oh well!) and I'm also hoping to learn a topic myself by reading and writing about it. I play piano and have also started giving lessons which I'm really enjoying (aside from the money!)

Also today I found out about something called 'recovery college' - it's in Sussex and partnered with NHS, and it has courses for free all about mental health. Not therapy but beyond that.

Whatever I feel like doing is the simple answer. The thought of having to go to work for somebody else and have my time accounted for by somebody, being told what to do, following policies and procedures, having to deal with people I don't really like. No amount of money can buy your freedom.

Just out of interest, how do you pay for that freedom though?

I'm not a SAHM now, but used to have a routine similar to a poster above.

Ie. Monday - meet for coffee
Tuesday - odd jobs, gardening etc
Wednesday - odd jobs
Thursday am - gym, tidy downstairs
Friday - tidy upstairs, weekend shopping

Ie. I would have a routine each week, and mix housework with social activities.

If you are horsey then can you see if you can find a riding stables / horse owner who is willing to swap with you the odd extra ride for helping out. I had a friend at school who was both very poor and horse mad and did this.

I class myself as a SAHM but I do work 3 hours a week ( 2 lunches) as a dinner lady. My boys are in year 2 and 7.

In addition to this I help with reading 2 afternoons a week in reception at my youngests school and I also help to run a toddler group on a thursday morning. So I only have 2 totally clear days. I like this though as I think I'd be bored if I was free all 5 days!

I also do housework, washing, sort out the pet bunny, shopping and try and see a friend once a week