To be so upset that everyone seems to forget about me?

[Sinkingships]

Please be gentle with me today as I'm feeling very emotionally fragile anyway and this has just pushed me over the edge.

My parents are currently looking after my DC's.

I am fed up of seeing comments from friends and family on FB basically forgetting that I exist - for example one of my DC's has a disability and my own sister tagged my parents in an article to do with parents of children with the disability but not me. I know from conversations with my DF that she has strong feelings about the whole situation but has never bothered to actually talk to me about it and her doing things like this is like she is purposely rubbing it in my face.

This sort of thing happens frequently and I am just fed up of people seemingly forgetting that actually, they are still my children! They haven't been adopted, I am still their parent and I am still very much involved in their lives. The way they act it's as if I have just disappeared off the face of the earth.

I realise I probably Abu and oversensitive but I just wish that people would be a bit more tactful and realise that posting this sort of stuff where they know I can see it is really offensive and hurtful to me.

So many people get their selves too stressed with social media, most of the time ppl just post crap and dont think anything of it, your sister probably wasn't deliberately not including you, just the same as you have probably done with others, if I was you I would take myself off fb, what you don't know cant hurt you.

If you haven't spoken in a year I don't get why she would tag you?

your parents are the care givers so any info of course will go to them

maybe she feels looking after your children is to much for your parents

will they be coming back to you soon?

oh and leave social media it will only make you feel worse

Sorry just seen that you have spoken in over a year. That's why she isn't tagging you because you don't speak. It would be odd to start tagging you when you aren't speaking/spoken in a long time.

Did you stop speaking because of the children living with your parents? Or before that?

Maybe she feels your parents need more support so is sharing things with them, but not tagging you as you are not in touch.

I agree that she may not be tagging you now because she considers that you and she are estranged. There is surely also a slim chance that she feels it would be provocative to lecture to you on the subject of your child's condition, but is happy to share information she's come across about it with 'equal' family members.

I would re-open communication and then start gently challenging comments that hurt you. Otherwise you will fester in a situation that seems likely to be self-perpetuating.

I'd text her and say 'Hope you're all well, thanks for the article it was interesting. Just one thing please can you tag me if you find anything else because I wouldn't want to not see it cheers xx'

We haven't spoken in a year due mostly to proximity, she lives a long way away so we don't see each other very often, nothing to do with us falling out or anything (at least so I thought). For us to not speak for months is very normal.

Christmas, they may be but not soon.

hope things work out with you and your children

Without understanding the situation it is hard to say if people are being unreasonable really. It sounds as though they are focusing on the children and those meeting their immediate needs.

Why don't they live with you?

Why get upset because you aren't tagged on Facebook??

i'd say you may be being a bit oversensitive, but if you didn't want to not have your children live with you then its perfectly understandable that you would feel that way. it seems that your sister has some issues with the arrangement and maybe disapproves, but you cant know that for sure without talking to her. maybe your parents would be willing to mediate in a conversation with you and her to get things out in the open. it may 'only' be facebook, but clearly there are deeper issues at hand here. your sister needs to know how fragile and vulnerable you are, and if she loves you then she should want to support you, not beat you down. I wish you luck OP x

But you could have some contact on facebook. Text or call. I have friends all over the world I speak to more than once a year.

It's September. That means you have spoken over last Christmas. Most relatives would make an attempt to get in touch then, if not at any other point. That's not just 'we don't see eachother much. That's estranged.

In which case I can undestand why she isn't tagging you. I really think that is more about your feelings over the situation rather than about your sister. Which is totally understandable.