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AIBU?

To keep daughter away from ex?

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BeeC22 · 02/09/2015 13:13

So basically I escaped a violent relationship at the beginning of the year, I won't go into the details but it was pretty bad.
At first I continued to co parent my 9 month old with my ex, as (I know this sounds crazy) but I didn't realise just how bad the relationship was until I spoke to the police? They said to me that although I didn't realise at the time, it was an extremely abusive relationship and sexual a use had taken place numerous times. He moved out pretty much the minute I told him it was over and then continued to have our daughter for the next 2 weekends. I soon found out that he had been cheating on me the entire time we were together, as I had recieved a message from the girls new boyfriend asking me to stop my ex from harassing her! I also found out that the woman he was sleeping with had meningitis, which then he passed to me while I was pregnant and cause our baby to spend the first 3 weeks of her life dying in an incubator before making a miracle recovery! He showed no remorse for what he had done, watching a our 5 day old baby have 4 lumbar punctures in her spine, despite knowing exactly what was wrong with her.
After 3 months if abusuve emails and texts, he phoned one night at 2am and I decided to record the conversation. He was saying that he was going to come around and kill me and take my baby, saying that I deserved everything he did to me because "you are a woman and needed to be reminded of your place". My tone if voice was always a huge issue to him and he believes that a woman shouldn't speak to a man in a certain way.
All of this I could take, but then he said that he would also expect our daughter to receive the same treatment if she was step out of line as she is a little girl and it needs to be ingrained into her at a young age that she is basically just going to be a sex toy and cook which is what I was to him.
Still I tried to retain some sort of relationship with him for our daughters sake, even though when I phoned the police an gave them the recording they arrested him and basically told him no more contact. I've offered supervised contact and mediation but he won't accept them as it is on my terms and not his.
My friends and family say I am doing the right thing in not letting him near my daughter without supervision. And for the last 3 months I've heard nothing from him at all, not even on her first birthday. I just can't help feeling guilty that I am denying my daughter a relationship with her father and that she will grow up to resent me because of it.
Am I doing the right thing? Has anyone else been through the same sort of thing?
I have a new partner now who is amazing, and who has done more for me and my daughter in the past 3 months than my ex ever did in the 2 years we were together. I just can't stop feeling guilty!!

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nocabbageinmyeye · 02/09/2015 13:17

But you aren't denying your daughter a relationship with her father, he is, you offered him contact and he had refused. You have nothing to feel guilty about