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Not to go to this family event

10 replies

HeiressesGiltnor · 01/09/2015 20:03

In a few weeks time we have a family event. I have agreed to go but am having second thoughts. Said event is a few hours in a pub. It's a nice excuse to get together but it's not something as big as a wedding.

Reasons I don't want to go :

It would take us 2.5/3 hours to get there. Originally I thought it would be fine. We have a DS who's 1.5. I figured he'd sleep most of the way if we left at nap time. However we've recently done a few longer journeys with him and after 1 hour he's just desperate to get out the car. The journeys have, frankly, been fairly horrific and stressful. It doesn't seem fair to make him sit in the car for 5 hours in one day just for a 4 hour event at a local pub. Not fun for us either when he gets so cross and just screams for hours.

I could go without him and leave him with DH. Some of my family members will be there. But I work full time 5 days a week in a stressful job with long hours. My weekends with my DS are so so precious. I am reluctant to miss out on our small window of family time.

We are fairly close to said side of our family, but I'll be honest, they don't make much effort with us. We keep in touch over Facebook, but in DS's short life, the've seen him once when he was around 3 months old. I've invited them to visit/stay several times but they haven't shown an interest in coming to see us. Over the summer, the person who is throwing the event went away on holiday and ended up staying for a few nights only 10 miles away! Even then they didn't suggest meeting up for the day.

So AIBU not to go. I know I'm not making an effort and I probably should, but then if they don't with me, I kind of think lets just all get on with what we actually want to do!

They would definitely be annoyed if I didn't go though..

OP posts:

scatterthenuns · 01/09/2015 20:04

Do what you want, no one will actually care.


LindyHemming · 01/09/2015 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

YouTheCat · 01/09/2015 20:07

If you can't face telling the truth, make up an explosive poo episode. That will always get you off the hook. And luckily, your ds is too young to grass you up.


EeyoresTail · 01/09/2015 20:08

Could you travel up on the Saturday and then travel back on the Sunday? I think I would make the effort if I could.


Spilose · 01/09/2015 20:10

Personally I'd still go, either with LO or without. But I love family get togethers because I don't see them much.


scarlets · 01/09/2015 20:10

Initially, I thought that you should go alone. Then, I read that they make no effort with you and I changed my mind. Don't bother. Focus on your immediate family and your close friends - they'll be your stalwarts in life, not this indifferent lot.


AuntyMag10 · 01/09/2015 20:11

I think with a small child that age it would be totally understandable to cancel. There would be no point get him there all cranky, just to settle him and then leave again. Yanbu.


QuiteLikely5 · 01/09/2015 20:13

I doubt they'd be annoyed as they don't seem interested in you or your son at all.


PinkyPinky1234 · 01/09/2015 20:36

Doesn't sound like the family would care either way tbh. So I would do what you want


ButEmilylovedhim · 01/09/2015 20:46

It's not worth it. The journey will upset and tire out your ds and you will have the consequences of that for days and nights to come (voice of experience, it was not fun). They weren't particularly bothered to see you when it would have been minimal hassle for them, so why should you put yourself and your child out to see them. Go and do these occasions when he's older and better able to cope, if you want to.

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