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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

About toilet training 2 year old DS?

19 replies

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 01/09/2015 14:33

I have a 1 year old DD and a 2 year old DS. DS is 2 years and 9 months. I am currently 28 weeks pregnant

We are having major renovations done to our house at the moment and only really have 3 habitable rooms. Hopefully everything will be finished by mid-October

I kind of thought that I would try toilet training DS in the month between the building work finishing and the new baby being born

Bit I've kind of hit a wall in the last week and am very, very tired. Not helped by a horrendous cough that is keeping me up most of the night. I'm now wondering if I'm actually going to be able physically to toilet train DS in that month. I want to make sure I do it at a time that he gets it as I'm currently being regaled with stories from NCT friends of spending months training and their DC having a lot of accidents.

But I'm worried if I don't do it in that month, I really cannot see myself being able to start until the new baby is at least 8 weeks.

Quite a few people have expressed surprise that I've not started already and I'm wondering if I've missed some magic window or will cause DS problems by not starting sooner.

I'm actually really worrying about it as everyone seems to have different opinions. So far, I've bought a potty and a book about going to the loo which we read. We also talk about the loo and sometimes DS wants to sit on the potty bit never with a nappy off. He's good at saying if he has done a poo on his nappy and wants changed. Less good at saying if he's done a wee - particularly if he's playing and really concentrating.

AIBU waiting at the moment and should I crack on? What if I can't do it in October. Is it really bad to wait until next year when he will be 3?

OP posts:

DotaDay · 01/09/2015 14:41

Id give it a go now. Give him lots and lots to drink so he needs to go for lots of pees. He might get it really quickly and you won't know if you don't try.

Some kids have lots of accidents but some kids don't. think how much better he will feel if he moves out of nappies.

My DC were close in age and I was very determined not to have three in nappies.

Wearyheadedlady · 01/09/2015 14:45

I agree with DotaDay, have a go now, when you're not feeling too tired. Is it warm enough where you are to let him run around outside without a nappy but keeping a potty handy? (we are in the US so its still quite warm).

Original poster

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 01/09/2015 14:45

Maybe I should start now. Access to the washing machine is quite difficult as the utility room is filled up with stuff and a lot if clothes have gone into storage so I'm a bit worried about keeping up with the washing.

I will have a think....I think I'm finding Kl the buikder's mess so depressing that the thought of being surrounded by wee and poo is very depressing

OP posts:

Original poster

Gobbolinothewitchscat · 01/09/2015 14:47

It's not warm enough to be outside and the garden isn't safe due to scaffolding and being full of building materials.

I'm trying to get out plenty at the moment to escape bit that wouldn't really be feasible or fair so I'd need to hole up in one of the habitable rooms

OP posts:

legolegolego · 01/09/2015 16:29

If you start when he is not ready, it will be hard work. If you wait until he is DEFINITELY ready, it won't really take a whole lot of effort other than accompanying him to the toilet.

I've never understood how people can plan in advance a specific time slot when they will 'teach' potty training.

You will know he is ready when he stops and holds his nappy or looks down as he's weeing or pooing. Or if he goes to hide to do a poo in his nappy, or tells you he is doing a wee/doing a poo. It's good that he asks to be changed when he has a soiled nappy, so he's definitely on the way, but I'm not sure he's right there yet. Also, make sure you put him in pants when he's not wearing a nappy, don't leave him with a bare bottom. (Children often get confused when pants get introduced after being naked and assume it's like a nappy and therefore regress)

The average age for a boy to be toilet trained is 3 years, by the way.

LongHairDontCare · 01/09/2015 16:42

My DS turned 3 a month after DD was born. I had intended to potty train him while pregnant but he just refused to use the toilet/potty or wear pants and held it for hours. When he was about 3 years 2 months he decided he wanted to sit on the toilet, a week later that he was happy to wear pants and actually use the toilet. It was so easy and I can probably count on one hand the accidents we have had! I'd wait if I was you

LongHairDontCare · 01/09/2015 16:43

And everyone had an opinion on his 'late' potty training too! Ignore them, you have enough on your plate as it is

Minisoksmakehardwork · 01/09/2015 17:11

I tried potty training dd1 when I was pregnant and ds1 when I was pregnant with twins. The older two were just about 2 when their younger siblings arrived. The same theory was that I didn't particularly want 3 in nappies. Well that all went to pot very quickly. Ds1 just wasn't ready and it took another year and a half before he was finally dry and clean in the day. Although he was also very quickly dry at night then too.

The twins, well ds2 potty trained around 5 months ago. He was 3, give or take a week or two. He is now pretty much dry at night too. Dd2 (twin daughter) has only just 'got it'. And even then I have to take her rather than her telling me. But she holds it in the meantime.

So my suggestion is by all means try it, get everything you need ready. But if it doesn't work, remember that ds is going through major upheaval too with becoming a big brother again. He might react well, he might not. You've got building work going on as well.

I'm very much of the school of thought that children will use the potty when they are ready and pushing it can make it stressful all round. especially when you already have a lot going on.

Loki17 · 01/09/2015 18:51

Potty training a child who is ready should not be hard work. You just need to remind them every half an hour to pee/poop. If he isn't ready do not stress yourself out. My dd just decided that she wanted to pee like mummy so we took that as a cue. She had a couple of accidents but it wasn't hard. within a week or two she had it nailed. good luck.

lovemakespeace · 01/09/2015 18:58

Do you mind changing his nappies? I personally didn't care. I dont see any massive advantages to potty training - we have to be alert now when out an about for a toilet. Not always easy as I have a baby in tow too.

Anyway I did it when my son was 3years 1month as he is going to preschool and I thought I should give it a go prior to then. Wees he has got pretty much instantly. He is finding poos harder which makes me sad as he holds it a bit.

My thought is really don't stress about it. Try if it is important to you but otherwise if you and your son are happy I definitely would not be rocking any boats right now!!!

PosterEh · 01/09/2015 19:02

Unless you're sure he's ready I'd wait. I stopped dd wearing nappies/pull ups at all in the day at 2.5yrs. She wasn't reliably dry until 3.5yrs. Lots of children regress a bit when a new sibling arrives as well.

TeamBacon · 01/09/2015 19:08

I'd wait tbh. Just over 3yo is fine, imo. I hate the competitive not bollocks.

DoJo · 01/09/2015 19:30

Also, if you try and make too many changes now, with a baby imminent, then the chances of regression and all that work going to waste seem pretty high. I think most children are a little unsettled by the arrival of a new brother or sister, so his most recently learned skill might be the one that goes by the wayside during his period of adjustment. It would be very frustrating to go through the faff of potty training only to then have to do it again in a couple of months, plus it will be easier to have him in nappies when you have a newborn as you can guarantee that he will need a wee every time you sit down to feed or the baby has just fallen asleep on you!

DotaDay · 01/09/2015 19:31

I tried to toilet train my DC sooner rather than later. It was nothing to do with being 'competitive' . That would be a stupid reason.

I did it because it worked with three out of my four DC. The fourth one needed a bit longer but there was no stress or confusion, we just gave up for a month or so and tried again. Some kids genuinely aren't ready but some are so its worth a try.
It can save lots of money and it's a lot less work.

Cherryblossomsinspring · 01/09/2015 19:37

My little fellow took to it in 2 days. Life was immediately easier than before in nappies. They are all different but maybe you will get lucky. You won't know if you don't try.

HaydeeofMonteCristo · 01/09/2015 19:55

Different kids are ready at different times. Ds had a 22 month old (female, if relevant) friend to play today and she is toilet trained. I was amazed. And some kids are barely ready by school age.

Ziar · 01/09/2015 20:14

Honestly, waiting till their are ready make life so much easier. It takes days as opposed to weeks/months. Less accidents, less stress, more comprehension.

Don't listen to the 'mine was potty trained at......' What they usually mean is. 'I stopped using nappies at that age, I then spent the next 8 months cleaning up accidents'

Casually introduce the concept maybe....but don't give yourself the pressure of 'starting'.

Just my opinion of course.

Purplepoodle · 01/09/2015 21:25

give it a whirl. If he hasn't got it in 4/5 days, shelf the idea and try again in 6 months.

Heleng1982 · 01/09/2015 22:05

I tried to potty training my ds when he was 2 and a half but he wasn't having any of it, he hated anything potty/toilet related. I left it until he was 3 years 3 months and he was done in a couple of days. so if you do it before hes ready then it will be a lot harder for you and him. I've also just potty trained my other son who was 3 in July he did it in a day. He loves using it for wees and poo's. My advice only for it if he's ready other wise it's a long process good luck with what you decide ????

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