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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this takes children's birthday parties to a whole new level...

83 replies

N0numbers · 31/08/2015 19:22

My ds has been invited to a classmate's 10 year old birthday party. The party is costing £1,900 for 10 of them. It is an amazing party - it should be for that price, but where do they go from here?

It's going to make the party invite to the cinema in November look a bit pants isn't it?

When did parties start costing the price of a family holiday?

OP posts:
SixtyFootDoll · 31/08/2015 20:09

Their money, if th want to spend it on their child and his friends, good luck to them.

They aren't asking for extragavent presents in return.

Put your horse hair shirts away and bloody enjoy it.

SirChenjin · 31/08/2015 20:10

Even if I had that amount of money to spend on a kid's party I wouldn't - because I have the common sense I was born with. Nothing to do with 'jealousy' at all (bingo) - of course they can spend their money on what they like, but that doesn't mean that it's in any way, shape or form a good use of money or a good example to set to their young DCs.

AuntyMag10 · 31/08/2015 20:11

If you read properly Dot, the parents made it clear when the op asked what connection they have. If she didn't ask they would have not answered her question.

WyrdByrd · 31/08/2015 20:15

Is it a bigger than usual party for him because he's 10 and it's first double figures birthday?

I can understand that, as we did a more special party for DD's 10th last year, albeit nowhere near that scale but I guess it's horses for courses and he's just a very lucky boy. His parents sound reasonably level headed too.

twinkletoedelephant · 31/08/2015 20:20

I have twins in 2 different class's 30 kids per class....

Hall bouncy castle food and games. £150).. The amount of 5 yr olds that didn't knowusical bumps was shocking ... :-)

DotForShort · 31/08/2015 20:40

If she didn't ask they would have not answered her question.

Er, quite. But the point is that they did answer ("Oh no we are paying for this"). I consider that sort of thing vulgar. Perhaps you don't. Shrug.

scarlets · 31/08/2015 20:44

My younger son has been to a couple of expensive parties. The most recent involved a box at a premiership football match followed by a restaurant dinner.

The most expensive one he's had is laser tag at £15 per head, with 9 invitees. I don't spend a lot on parties but I'm fine with whatever other parents want to do with their hard-earned cash.

JuJuMun69 · 31/08/2015 21:31

Its all relevantly ridiculous.

To spend £2,000 on a birthday party for a 10 year old is mad.

Capewrath · 31/08/2015 21:42

Well, not how I would spend the money if I had it, but their money, their choice.

A friend had a v sensible way if reciprocating when her dd was taken on an amazing trip by a v rich friend and no way could they do likewise. She discovered this child had never been shopping without an adult. So she took them to a local high street, gave them some ( limited) money, set them a time to come back to the cafe she was sitting in, plus the obvious instructions on safety and off they went.

The child had the most amazing time ever. Masses if bargains, window shopping, had a milk shake with friend without parent. "Thank you so much, Mrs X, this has been the most amazing day of my life."

Bakeoffcake · 01/09/2015 07:53

Capewrath that's very sweet!

My dds only ever had at-home tea parties as both have brithdays very near Xmas (it's a complete pain to go anywhere because of Christmas shoppers and the weather.)
As they got older I worried they and their friends would get bored with the traditional games and food every year. Quite the opposite- they looked forward to it as it was usually the only "proper" birthday party they went to each year. You don't have to spend thousand to have a memorable party.

FishWithABicycle · 01/09/2015 08:27

If motorsport is involved I wonder if it's something one of the parents has always wanted to do and they are using the kids party as the excuse.

I know that many families spend 10 times what I would on cars and holidays so it doesn't surprise me. But it's not a competition, don't try to up the level of your own parties.

Moopsboopsmum · 01/09/2015 11:18

This sort of spend is standard where I live Blush Most probably spend twice that or more, think small wedding. I'm having a tiny party for one of my DC soon. I know it's social death because I'm only spending about £800 and not having a professional photographer etc etc. but I just won't spend more because I think it's too much!!

Miloarmadillo1 · 01/09/2015 16:01

Social death = only £800 for a child's party? The world has gone mad.

littlejohnnydory · 01/09/2015 16:32

And my dh told me off for spending £150 on a joint party for ds and dd last year!

Heehawheehawheehaw · 01/09/2015 16:48

moops where on earth do you live if that is considered normal ?

AttitcusFinchIsMyFather · 01/09/2015 17:07

stealth boast by Moops

ExitPursuedByABear · 01/09/2015 17:15

Surely it is each to their own.

If they can afford it, why should anyone quibble.

If it was the Beckhams doing it noone would bat an eyelid.

bloodyteenagers · 01/09/2015 17:29

One year I was able to do something really, really wow for
A party.
It would have cost a small fortune.

I lied my arse off and questions about contacts. I denied any connection. I had seen previously how a friend was hassled for discounts when mentioning connections. It's amazing how many new friends you gain for discounts and freebies.

Chottie · 01/09/2015 18:59

DD had a school friend who had very wealthy parents who arranged amazing, over the top parties.

DD invited the school friend round to our house for the day and we went to the park. School friend was overjoyed that she could jump in the puddles in a pair of borrowed wellies. She'd never, ever done that before (age 6).

FrancesNiadova · 01/09/2015 19:07

Can't wait to see what's in the party bag! GrinCake

RockinHippy · 01/09/2015 19:35

I'm actually amazed someone would ask if the party boys family had connections & thats why they could afford itShock, I would find that pretty rude if I were his DM & might lie in answer just for the hell of it

In fact we actually have wound up one of DDs old friends DMs who was far more "fur coat & no knickers" in my view as she put on airs & graces & feigned education, plus wealth with fake designer good etc & was rude enough to ask one year about a far less extravagant party as she didn't consider us "the sort to have wealth" (northern living SouthHmm)

I really don't see why spending this sort of money is an issue unless of course it's deliberately flaunted in a tasteless way & expecting huge presents, which doesn't sound to be the case here. We all have different priorities & outgoings, so it's up to the family if they choose to spend big in their DCs, it's about making memories & if you can afford to treat your DC & friends, why not, just be grateful he got an invite & enjoy they day

WhatTimeIsItCuckoo · 01/09/2015 20:24

I don't see the problem here, it's their money and I actually think it's incredibly generous of them. I'm sure they're not expecting the cost to be reciprocated in parties or gifts - that would be unreasonable, not to mention completely futile. Horses for courses as someone has previously said - they have the money and are treating their son and his friends. I would say 'Thank you very much' and I hope your son, the birthday boy and the rest of his friends all have a great time! And I would totally stick to your own party plans too btw :)

listsandbudgets · 01/09/2015 22:51

Just let your child enjoy it OP and stop worrying about competing.

10 years ago my cousin phoned me to say that her then 7 year old dd had been to a party which she estimated cost £125 a head(10 years ago remember) and the party bags contained lap tops and digital cameras Shock

She was terrified that her planned party for her dd's 8th for which she'd already sent invites would have to be completely changed as she was "only" having a magician, bouncy castle, a lucky dip and tea at home. I persuaded her not to change a thing and she phoned me afterwards to say everything went well and some of the children said it was the best party they'd ever been too.

There will always be someone who has more money to splash than you do. What matters is that the children enjoy it, not how much you spend.

TottenhamCourtRoad · 02/09/2015 00:00

I told DS that he can have as many friends as can legally fit in my car and I'll take them to Cadbury World for his birthday. He was more ecstatic than a cat in ectoplasm.

Last year, I hired a West End theatre, I booked the cast of Cats to revise the songs so that each line had the birthday boy's name in it, Gordon Ramsay did the catering and we travelled by the Orient Express to buy Turkish Delight for the goody bags. He sulked through the whole day.

One of the above might not be true.

Helpmeoutofthemaze · 02/09/2015 00:15

I don't see the problem. If they are happy to pay, have the money etc then it's a wonderful treat for a bunch of boys who wouldn't otherwise get to do this.

Also, children love a party. I don't think they'd bat a eyelid at a cinema party after the £1900 party, they'd probably love both.

I'd be pleased if my dc received such a lush invite!! They get to do something great that I don't have to pay for. Everyone's a winner!