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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder why the hell women insist on wearing high heels that they cannot walk in?

145 replies

CathJames · 31/08/2015 16:22

Just that really. Every weekend I see women (usually short women) wearing high heels, some of them of gigantic proportion and they cannot bloody walk in them. They are trotting along with their knees bent and almost buckled trying not to fall over, they look absolutely ridiculous so why do they wear them? I mean I'm all for keeping up with fashion and looking good when out and about but if I can't walk in a pair of shoes without looking like I'm constipated (or drunk) then I don't wear/buy them!

OP posts:

SirChenjin · 02/09/2015 09:36

Women (and men) should be able to wear what they want (within reason - Nazi uniforms are not really a good look, for example) but that doesn't mean that overly high heels (esp when paired with bum skimming skirts and bad fake tan) isn't going to make you look like you got dressed in the dark and need a poo.

Sunnymeg · 02/09/2015 10:00

I have petite friends who have worn heels all their adult life. Now we are in our 50's they all have foot problems and have to wear orthotics. When I see young girls in heels I just think that they are storing up pain and misery for later and will be a drain on the NHS. My Mum told me to never wear a pair of shoes you can't run in and I keep to this. I've had to run for a bus or train more than once.

Duckdeamon · 02/09/2015 10:36

It's a health and feminist issue.

Men don't wear heels.

Duckdeamon · 02/09/2015 10:36

Well, some men obviously wear heels, but there is not social pressure on them to do so to "look their best", look thinner etc.

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 02/09/2015 10:39

I don't think this thread is judgemental. I don't hate women who wear high heels. In fact some of my best friends are high-heel wearers

ALassUnparalleled · 02/09/2015 15:40

I wouldn't care that someone who hates spicy food finds the idea that I like curry baffling.

And would you be happy being told your preference for spicy food is poncy and stupid and the other insults used for non approved footwear styles?

SirChenjin · 02/09/2015 16:15

Perhaps curry wasn't the best analogy.

If women had been persuaded that attaching clothes pegs to the end of each finger was fashionable and would somehow make them look sexy and empowered, then there would be many of us that would go no, actually it looks stupid, and there would be others who would get the clothes pegs out - irrespective of the fact that it was impractical, painful and made them look ridiculous.

Bunbaker · 02/09/2015 16:19

trevortrevorslatterfry · 02/09/2015 16:25

trills thanks for the link to that brilliant essay

FrancesOldhamKelseyRIP · 02/09/2015 16:25

But not all heels are impractical painful and ridiculous-looking. Skyscraper heels that fit well, and you personally can balance in, in a carpeted office where you only ever have to walk ten yards at a time and running is frowned upon, are none of those things. And I personally find being within hailing distance of my interlocutors very practical.

SirChenjin · 02/09/2015 16:40

That's not what's being discussed here though. If all you have to do is walk a few yards in a day then you could wear well fitting high heels and not look as ridiculous as the women who obviously can't walk in their poorly fitting, too high heels (heel plasters optional). The question is - why does anyone think that's a sexy/fashionable/empowered/whatever look? Unless, of course, the pain has rendered them incapable of logical thought process.

JanetBlyton · 02/09/2015 16:43

Ask a man.

SirChenjin · 02/09/2015 16:49

Do men find the constipated waddle look sexy? More to the point though - why on earth does it matter what a man thinks?

FrancesOldhamKelseyRIP · 02/09/2015 17:12

Oh I wouldn't deny that heels you can't walk in make you look like an idiot and are an instrument of self delusion. But heels are not idiotic per se.

crossparsley · 02/09/2015 17:16

The women in my office who wear high heels can walk in them like Amazons. They don't look unbalanced or odd at all. One of them was still in 4-5 inch heels at 7 months pregnant, clearly the gradual change in weight/weight distribution was fine for her to cope with. My best friend who loves heels can also do pretty much anything in them. I used to go out dancing in heels. couldn't now and I'm slightly glad of it as it does tighten your calf muscles, which is no good at all if you want to lift weights (my deadlift is grand but my squats are still showing the effects of a few years on my toes).

I've seen women wearing heels they can't walk in, at 8.45am on the way into work - not tottering or doing that odd toe-first thing, so they might not know it, but if you are behind someone and every step involves the heel pillar wobbling left-right about five times, that seems like these are shoes you couldn't ever speed up or run in.

So, er, horses for courses? They do look great in the right context, and if you can walk in them.

SirChenjin · 02/09/2015 18:02

Oh of course - high heels that you can walk in (genuinely walk in as opposed to 'in your head' walk in them) are fine (provided that they aren't teamed with teeny skirts, chunky legs and bad fake tan), but that's not the premise of the OP - which is whst I'm responding to.

LaurieJuspeczyk · 02/09/2015 18:16

I wear heels I can't walk in as practice, so that one day I will be able to walk in them...

Floisme · 02/09/2015 18:27

Well I can bore for England about the pressures on women to look say, young or thin. But pressure to wear heels? I'm not convinced.

Some women - I am one of them - just enjoy dressing up. Sometimes we wear things that aren't particularly flattering or even comfortable and yes, occasionally make us look silly. Why? Because it's fun. Some women - not me as it happens - feel the same way about crazy shoes.

I agree there's an issue around damage to feet but some of you seem far more concerned about how they look than than about health hazards. Why do you care so much?

Duckdeamon · 02/09/2015 19:06

If they were such fun to dress up in, and no social pressure to wear them or not then men would be wearing stilletoes much more.

Floisme · 02/09/2015 19:59

Men have often worn crazy clothes and shoes in the past - think of the seventies. There have been times in history when they've dressed just as flamboyantly as women if not more so.

I'm not saying you have to find it fun but for some of us it is and some of us are even feminists.

ALassUnparalleled · 02/09/2015 20:21

Oh of course - high heels that you can walk in (genuinely walk in as opposed to 'in your head' walk in them) are fine (provided that they aren't teamed with teeny skirts, chunky legs and bad fake tan

I don't wear or do any of those things but if I did it's really no one else's business to approve whether or not it is fine

LaurieJuspeczyk · 03/09/2015 04:25

Are there any choices we make that are free from social pressure of one sort or another?

SirChenjin · 03/09/2015 06:42

if I did it's really no one else's business to approve whether or not it is fine

Of course I can approve - I form opinions on the appropriateness of all sorts of things. Obviously that approval won't be vocalised (although I would steer my daughter away from that look) but don't kid yourself that others won't look at you and think less than approving thoughts on too high heels/tiny skirts/bare orange legs/constipated waddle - and it's no-one else's business what I (or others) think.

Floisme · 03/09/2015 07:04

Are there any choices we make that are free from social pressure of one sort or another?

Well I gather human beings (men and women) have been adorning their bodies and playing with their appearance pretty much since records began. You might even argue it's a basic human instinct.

Of course there are all kind of social pressures on womens' appearance e.g. to be thin, young, free of body hair etc etc. And sometimes the two intersect: wedding dresses for example - the fun of wearing something frilly and silly plus the pressure to look virginal.

But shoes? Nah I think they're just dressing up.

BrendaFlange · 03/09/2015 10:25

I don't think anyone should be censured for a fashion choice.

But whatever the subject there is no harm in a debate around various aspects of our choices.

I have chunky wide feet and I really envy women who can wear elegant, pretty, strappy sandals, but high heels would never be my choice.

I think tha actual heel looks an odd object sticking out of the shoe, I don't find them appealing to look at at all. I can't walk in them and I don't like having my ability to run, jump etc hampered. So it is as much a mystery to me as to why people enjoy wearing them as eating oysters or reading science fiction is. Other valid choices that I don't share.

High heels make legs look longer and cause the hips to be thrust forwards. These are not currently aspects seen as attractive in men, so I doubt they will be adopted as a male fashion in the near future.

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