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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think he should cover up more?

8 replies

carbolicsoaprocked · 31/08/2015 01:05

I have no idea what kind of responses I'm going to get here, but here goes, I'd really like to find out if I'm the unreasonable one here. I was brought up in a family where after toddler-hood we kept our private parts covered at home outside the bedroom and bathroom, and this is still the norm for us. My DH was brought up in a family where it's quite normal for all family members to walk about naked and this is still the norm for them. Interestingly I only have sisters and he has just a brother - I don't know if this is relevant.

This wouldn't be a problem if it was just us in the house. The problem is we have recently moved to another town and my DM now sometimes stays with us as she often works near our new house. He continues to walk around naked even when she's here (although at those times it's only really during the night, ie to the bathroom or the kitchen for night feeds). We also now have a DS and although he's not old enough to be aware of any of this I know one day he will be and I really don't want him to wander about naked - I don't want this as the norm in our house. Our family and friends (including my DGM, young nephews and nieces) come into our house without knocking (something we're both happy with) so it's only through luck that he's not been caught in the buff in the kitchen!

He thinks I'm being a silly prude and a PITA when I ask him to cover up, I think it's just respectful (to other people and yourself) to keep your private parts private. A clash of norms - who's being unreasonable and more importantly how do we sort this out?!

OP posts:
maras2 · 31/08/2015 01:15

FFS.Tell him to cover up.No one should have to see their SIL in the nip. Yuck!

someonestolemynick · 31/08/2015 01:45

I walk around the house naked l. This was normal for me when growing up but it wasn't for my dp.
I think this situation is calling for mutual respect if differences... You need to find a way that works for both of you. The way it works chez someone.

  1. When naked walking I make sure neighbours can't see me. If I have to be in front of a window I'll cover up.
  2. No named walking when his relatives are staying.
  3. The mantra: there is nothing shameful about a body.

O don't think either of you is necessarily bu. You are just having different upbringings. Having said that he should not set out to run into sil naked but don't see the harm in discreet nipping into the bathroom.

Wrt to relatives coming in unannounced - strategically placed dressing gowns throughout the house? A dressed by x o'clock rule?

Wrt to your ds- this is a tough one. I would be careful of giving him body issues in either side if the spectrum. As in making him feel that there is something shameful about the naked body vs. Having him grow up lacking social boundaries about nudity. But then again you and your dh have the perfect set up to get the body image balance right and teach him about successful compromising.

ElementaryMyDear · 31/08/2015 09:05

To be honest, I'd be unhappy about other people wandering into the house without knocking. You may be happy with it most of the time, but what if you're feeling ill, or working, or DTD? And if there was agreement that, if someone knocks, DH covers up, problem solved.

Tootsiepops · 31/08/2015 09:15

I don't even like it when my husband walks about the house with no top on when we have visitors Shock

luciferswench · 31/08/2015 14:17

It's his home and his body let him let it all hang out. Buy him some lounge pants or shorts for when the MIL is over.
Its easy to teach a child its privates are private whilst still letting them run naked at home and teaching them to be comfortable with their bodies.

Shockers · 31/08/2015 14:41

I walk around naked a lot at home. I'd be quite hurt if DH told me to cover up.

That said, I wouldn't if MIL was staying!

WorraLiberty · 31/08/2015 14:46

Our family and friends (including my DGM, young nephews and nieces) come into our house without knocking (something we're both happy with)

Why are you both happy with that, knowing your DH wanders around naked? Confused

Other than that being rather strange, I think YABU really.

Osolea · 31/08/2015 15:11

You have to find a compromise. Your DH isn't dong anything wrong and should be allowed to wander around his own home naked if he wants to, but it would save any potential embarrassment if he covered up when your mum is staying.

The rest of the time is fine though. Maybe he would prefer it if people didn't just let themselves into the house whenever he felt like it, or maybe if other people would be offended by it, then they should start knocking.

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