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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

children keeping underwear on

40 replies

megwhitesdrumkit · 30/08/2015 21:57

I'm a regular poster (not some kind of creepy troll) but have NC so as not to out myself here.

We have had family staying over the weekend and although it's been lovely having them here I was extremely glad when they departed this evening.
Their children are very noisy and boisterous and barely listen to a word anyone says to them.
Their parents are the only people who can say anything they'll take notice of but trying to get them to in the first place can be hard work.
Anyway, the point of my post...We were sat in the kitchen yesterday chatting over coffee, and the children were playing in the living room, when the 2 eldest (7 & 8), came in giggling to themselves. We asked what they were laughing at, the 8yo pulls up her skirt, flashes her (bare) bottom, bursts out laughing, then runs away. The 7yo is in fits of laughter.
Shortly after the 8yo comes back, does a bit of a cartwheel through the kitchen, still with no pants on, and then runs off again. Next she comes back with her pants on her head and flashes herself to us all again! The 7yo thought it was hysterical and by this point the 5yo was joining in too! The parents just chuckled and ignored it.
I was and .
I appreciate that I've posted this in Chat not AIBU?, (mainly because I feel I'll get a wider range of responses here) but AIBU to think that, especially at that age, children should be keeping their underwear on and being told that this kind of behaviour is not acceptable, or am I just a killjoy who should accept it for the silliness that it is? (I should also point out that I put a stop to talking about 'poo' at the dinner table, so maybe I just don't 'get' 7/8yo humour?)

OP posts:

Fatmomma99 · 31/08/2015 00:03

Sorry, and I can tell this is just me, because none of the previous posters are where I'm at, but I would be FINE with this

I do not think that nudity is something kids should be ashamed of. It's just their own bodies. They will and do set their own boundaries about what they're comfortable about, and I absolutely hate the sexualising of children. They're having fun. The only sexual element in it is your own impure thoughts. Just let them be kids and behave appropriately!

Sorry, I think it's just me...

Rainuntilseptember15 · 31/08/2015 08:34

Fatmomma I realised I had looked to see if the dcs were boys or girls, and my "instinct" is to think it's less appropriate for girls (obviously I know this is wrong it is unconscious bias) so I agree with you now. Only, I would not want my ds's bottom too close to me as his hygiene is questionable at times!

Helenluvsrob · 31/08/2015 08:36

Fatmomma99 you aren't the only one who's not that bothered. If you read my list im not either though I guess they should be starting to sort out what's notmal in company in their heads at 8, but for hygine reasons on furniture and when eating, pants are to be worn!

thehypocritesoaf · 31/08/2015 08:37

Oh I agree with you fatmma- at home!
Not at someone else's house in front of an unimpressed audience.

BoskyCat · 31/08/2015 08:49

There is a difference between shame and privacy/propriety though. Teaching kids that age that you don't flash your bum/genitals at people doesn't mean you're telling them they are something to be ashamed of, but that it is considered rude and not nice behaviour.

After all we hope out kids will recognise that something is wrong if a man flashes them in the park, and we think there's something wrong with that too. So they do need to learn about privacy of those parts.

(There are other things you don't show people too, like chewed food inside your mouth. That's not about shame either.)

I'd say school age is the age to start encouraging privacy about bums etc. running around waving your bum at everyone at 2/3 is normal, once you're 5/6 or older it's a bit off. (I feel exactly the same whether it's boys or girls)

After all there has to be an age when it's NOT ok, so what is that age? If you're OK with it at 8, what about 10? 12? 14?

maxxytoe · 31/08/2015 08:53

Too old to be doing that and definitely not in someone else's house
Baby's and toddlers fine, quite funny and cute imo

claraschu · 31/08/2015 09:11

I think the problem here is with teaching them that this is funny or attention worthy in the first place. Nudity is natural; thinking it is shocking and funny is something kids learn from adults.

campervan67 · 31/08/2015 09:23

I could imagine my 7yo and 5yo doing this if they were in a particularly giddy silly mood. They think bums are hilarious. I would have told them to put their pants back on but wouldn't get too het up about it.

mrstweefromtweesville · 31/08/2015 09:27

Just children being silly. Yes, at their ages they ought to know better (be safe, be polite) but perhaps people haven't made a big thing to them about keeping bodies covered up.

Indantherene · 31/08/2015 10:38

Sounds like exactly the sort of thing my 8 yo DD would do, TBH. She still finds bottoms, poo and farts hilarious.

But me and DH wouldn't have been chuckling; rather hissing at her to pack it in.

Itsmine · 31/08/2015 10:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gingermakesmesick · 31/08/2015 10:54

Sounds to me like they were just a bit hyped up and giddy. No real harm done.

spanisharmada · 31/08/2015 14:33

I'd tell mine to pack it in because I expect them to have better manners then that, no sexualization involved. Same as i wouldn't have let them ride a bike up and down OP's hall or kick a ball about inside. It's just disrespectful and rude to carry on like that when you're a guest in someone else's home IMO.

puddymuddles · 31/08/2015 14:37

My 2 and a half year old does this and DH tells her off however I think Ok at her age and showing off she is in knickers not a nappy! At 7 or 8 is inappropriate especially if others not just their own family are there.

noiwontstoptalking · 31/08/2015 14:43

IME 7 yos think bums are hysterical (I have 2)

Mine would know not to do that at someone else's house and in the unlikely event that they had done would have been sent to put some pants on and given a strong reminder about manners.

They're just kids being silly though so it's really not necessary to over think it. Yours will get to that age soon enough.

I don't understand why you didn't tell them off though. It's your house, your rules.

I had 8 children in the house for a family party over the weekend with their parents. Anyone who stepped over my lines was told and reminded firmly of house rules. If you do it nicely it's not a problem.

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