To tell her?

[Adarajames]

I know him well, only met her once; she's divorcing him, think grounds of unreasonable behaviour, he wants to counter sue her for same, saying she knew he had MH issues when married, so can't say he's UR now. He does have MH issues, but aside from that he is rather a selfish, immature arse, just because he is one rather than MH related. He's being very unpleasant, talking of hiding assets, making her pay him spousal maintenance as he's too unwell to work (not entirely true, he has issues with being an arse to bosses to, so doesn't go down well job wise!). I know however that he has been cheating on her for most of their relationship and throughout heir marriage; so my AIBU is to ask if I would BU to tell her about this in hopes that gives her more chance of a fair split and settlement as she'll also have some ammunition? Yes he's my friend, but I feel like I'll be letting down another woman by not giving her the information, wwyd?

I'm just curious how she has evidence of his cheating.

He sounds like a shit person to have as a friend either way so why not use this oportunity to ditch him?

Infidelity will not have any bearing on the financial settlement. It will just throw oil on troubled water and make any kind of settlement a little further out of reach. Perhaps you could direct your fire to your arse of a friend and persuade him to behave better or he will lose your respect and friendship.

If he's been unfaithful she needs to know for the sake of her health if nothing else. He could have exposed her to STI's and I'd want to know about that if it were me.

I'd be tempted to say something as it sounds like she could get royally shafted otherwise ... and I'd hate to see that done to a fellow woman, especially one who has done nothing wrong.

No, I wouldn't tell her.

Because there is a high chance that they will shoot the messenger. If she had no clue, she will be upset you didn't feel and feminine loyalty and tell her at the time. He will be pissed off that you told her.

I think the time has already passed where you should have told her, if you were going to at all.

I don't think him cheating on her will change anything in regards to divorce.

So he has screwed around and is now screwing her over financially? If I saw a person being treated so unfairly and I had the power to stop it I would, why wouldn't you. She needs to know so she can have a health check at least.

I absolutely would tell her. I couldn't watch a friend being drubbed by her horrible ex when I had information that might help.