Long story, will try to be brief, but difficult, please excuse any unintended drip feed...
On the back of one of those silly Facebook quiz things done by an old friend, where myself & another mutual old friend names came up together. The seeds of a reunion evolved - lovely idea, we've not seen each other for over 10 years but used to be close & hung out together along with a couple of others, all the time, but takes some planning as we are a bit scattered, older kids etc.
My daughter is long term ill, so getting away is probably most difficult for me. I live in a holiday place by the sea with lots to do. Friend A, who lives furthest away from us all suggested we meet here or London - so I invite them both to stay here if they do choose here. Friend B agrees with this & they start to talk dates.
Friend C then joins in the comments inviting herself to the reunion - which of course no one minds as she was a good friend of us all back then too.
However I have had some problems with C over more recent years, to the extent where I deleted her on Facebook & don't bother with her anymore- she's become very manipulative, passive aggressive & demands I mother her - which I suppose I always did a bit when we were younger as she was a few years younger than me & only 16 when I first met her via work, took her under my wing, went on to give her a job running my shop unit etc etc. as she was so unhappy where she was. We lived close to each other & in order to come out, she always needed walking home, a long way out of my as she was scared etc - so I suppose I created a rod for my own back that I didn't expect to run into our fifties - but as far as C is concerned it does - but she only does it with me, no one else.
Lots more situations have arisen over the years with her, holiday from hell in our 40s where she behaved like a spoilt brat & I was left out of pocket had me back off a lot & then she cut me out after I had DD, though when I eventually text her after hearing nothing from her since 6 months pregnant - DDs first birthday, she blamed her dads death - I knew her dad well & would have paid my respects.
We kind of hooked up again after she was seriously ill & I softened as a result. Last time she stayed her, she was a pain, always acts very sweet innocent & lovely, but makes damned sure she always does things on her terms. I have health problems too & yet I still found myself manipulated into doing more than I could cope with, because I was made to feel she was more ill, which was kind of true as she was recovering from Cancer, but she seemed far fitter than me - plus she was bloody rude - I spent several afternoons shivering in the sea front whilst she chatted with all in sundry for hours on end on her phone
list & lots more
Last straw was my responding to yet another of her overly dramatic "I need better friends" posts on Facebook- she's very immature in how she acts at time & she twisted it all in a very dramatic passive aggressive way, with post after post to make me look as bad as possible, when I was trying to helpful by pointing out that she shouldn't take things so personally. She has never apologised & generally doesn't see what she did wrong - acts all innocent etc - I deleted her from my own Facebook to avoid any more of it as I got fed up of her attention seeking.
So now, after joining in & inviting herself to the get together - which is fine & I certainly wouldn't be rude to her, happy to treat her as an acquaintance & enjoy a night out with them all
She has then backtracked & done her now usual dramatic me, me me, by apologising for butting in on the thread as she clearly wasn't invited, can see by reading that she is excluded & I won't bother you all have a good time" - cue A&B reassuring her lots that she's part of the gang & not to be silly & suddenly the arrangements are centered around C - she has no DCs or work, now cares for her DM, but has plenty of back up from her close family who live streets away.
The only thing she was excluded from, was the invite to stay here - yet she would have the easiest journey of all to here & has already said she cant stay overnight anyway, without any real raason I can see - again trying to have the venue on her doorstep - which I wouldn't mind as I can get there easily enough to I suppose, but will mean a big expense for the others
I haven't replied yet, but feel annoyed that she has once again backed me into a corner & whatever I say or do, bar invite her to stay here, will make me look bad I don't want to invite her as its not convenient, I don't really want to be good friends with her any more as she is just too high maintenance & has shat on me too many times, but I now feel put on the spot & I know if I invite her, she will accept as I'm pretty sure that's what she is angling for
AIBU, should I just swallow it & invite her for the sake of harmony & everyone else ??