I've been lurking on so many threads but need advice and please don't hold back. For ten years I've been seeing a man in secret from my family. I'm Asian and had an arranged/ forced marriage in my early 20s- one child- and realised I'd made a terrible mistake. It took ten years for me to get an Islamic divorce. I started working and bought a house and have brought DS up single handedly. Her dad went back to country of origin- no contact since. I met this man at work and he seemed v keen. To cut a long story short he comes over once a week or fortnight never stays over if DD in the house. Now she got job other side of the country. People keep saying now it's my time I can do stuff for myself etc. But my boyf said: 'You better not expect me to be there just because you're free now'. He never buys birthday presents so after years of spending a lot on him I stopped buying him gifts too. He went mad and said 'you didn't even get me anything'. When I pointed out he's not got me anything for years he said:'I've got you plenty over the years'. Which is not true AND very very sad.
When he comes over I always provided snacks and give him doggy bag or bake cookies he likes etc because petrol is expensive but he never asks me if I want anything. In ten years we went on one holiday but he wanted me to pay for everything even though I paid half of petrol and the holiday cottage. He never talks about getting married or the future. He is 50 I am 39. I've never met his family but he's not met mine either because mine are Muslim. I suppose I can see what you will all say. I've felt like I've had limited choice because I always put my DC first and he's been very patient. But I thought once DD was sorted he would jump at chance to be with me. What's been going on all this time? What's he been using me for? Not sex. But what then? I don't get it. He's quite stingy which is annoying but we can enjoy each other's company. I don't get it. Can anyone help. What am I missing. Thanks