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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if it's grim moving up north

316 replies

Eugenekrabs1 · 29/08/2015 20:24

I am from the south (England) and have lived here for most of my life. DH is from the north but has lived in the south for many years. We have children who are school age.

Circumstances have changed for us recently and because of this, we are considering a move to H's northern homeland. I'm wondering what other people's experiences of moving their family have been like.

H has friends and family there whereas I (although being welcomed by them) will not have any friends and will need to find a new job. Our kids are not keen to move.

In short, we don't have to move but there are lots of pros to us taking the leap. At the moment I have a list of pros and cons which I will proceed to bore you with....

Pros
Bigger house with little mortgage
Job change for me (something I want)
DH is close to friends and family - lovely for him
Can get a dog (all want one, current house small)

Cons
Taking kids out of schools they are happy in. They will have to make new friends.
Once we sell in the south it is unlikely we will be able to afford to return
No friends/family close to me
Leaving an area I like (but a house that's too small and expensive to extend)
Rain up north

I'd be grateful to hear any tales of similar moves. Is it grim up north or should I just stop being risk averse and make the move?

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 29/08/2015 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Savagebeauty · 29/08/2015 20:27

Watching with interest. I am planning to do the same in 2-3 years

Sirzy · 29/08/2015 20:29

Where are you talking up north?

I am up north and can't say rain is that much of a problem!

You need to do what is best for the long term of your family. From what you have posted that is probably move but only you as a a family can decide that.

RandomMess · 29/08/2015 20:29

Well personally I love it.

The dc have actually made new friends etc. easier than I thought they would.

We now have a home that is either big enough to house them well into adult or we could sell and downsize and contribute towards a house or them to share/rent cheaply from us. Or shock horror they may be able to afford out in their 20s!!!

Have been able to afford to buy in an "expensive" area rather than living in the "worst" one near the "worst" schools

People are much more friendly/open.

Weather hasn't been issue but then I don't like the heat, doesn't rain that much more and haven't ever not been able to take the dog out in the dry at some point during the day.

Oh did I mention getting a dog...

Halving our mortgage, doubling the size of the house and a nicer area...

Wishful80smontage · 29/08/2015 20:29

Depends where and how well you get on with his friends and family.
How old are your DCs?

Whatthefoxgoingon · 29/08/2015 20:30

It's a one way move essentially, if you are selling up in the south particularly London. Just be very very sure you want to go. There's plenty of good things north of Watford but buying a house back in London would be nigh on impossible.

twirlypoo · 29/08/2015 20:30

I've lived all over the country and oop North is home! Can you give a more specific area as that will help - but generally, people talk to you here. It's much more laid back than London and SO much cheaper!

fedupbutfine · 29/08/2015 20:30

I'm sorry but for your title alone Biscuit

PurpleSkyatthewateringhole · 29/08/2015 20:30

Again, depends whereabouts you are. It's hard as an adult starting over again in another town/city. But if you get a bigger house and a job that you want to be doing what's stopping you? How old are the DC? Primary is a better age to move than secondary.

twirlypoo · 29/08/2015 20:31

I missed your rain concern Grin

ZebraLovesKnitting · 29/08/2015 20:31

Where are you looking at?

We moved from Bristol (where I'm from) to North Derbyshire (where DH is from) and it's worked out very well. We didn't have kids until we'd moved up here though, but I think even if we had then moving would still have been the right choice. How old are your DCs?

friendofsadgirl · 29/08/2015 20:31

When you say "Up North", where do you mean?

NoMoreRenting · 29/08/2015 20:32

Whereabouts do you mean?
I'm from the SE, dh is Scottish. We moved from Surrey to Cheshire (just south of Manchester) I did not want to go at all but dh's work necessitated it. But I love it now. Kids settled well into school. Everything I need is on my doorstep. Mind you, Cheshire is more Surrey than Surrey sometimes. And it wasn't cheaper than Guildford unfortunately.

Mehitabel6 · 29/08/2015 20:33

It depends where you mean- most of 'the North' is lovely.

Whatthefoxgoingon · 29/08/2015 20:35

I forgot to say: if you can hold on to your house down south, do so. Several members of my family moved north but scrimped to hold on and rent out their London homes which are now worth much more than the homes they live in. Each house is now in the millions, rent well and that's one investment they can realise without selling their residence. Unlike me, as I still live in London and selling my home won't help if I need to buy another just as expensive.

mellowheart · 29/08/2015 20:37

Well I often wonder how grim it is down south.

Original poster
Eugenekrabs1 · 29/08/2015 20:39

It is near Manchester. My kids are primary age but not hugely extrovert types so I worry about them settling. I would be mortified if I uprooted them and they were unhappy.
I am fluctuating wildly between thinking sod it, let's just go and see and no way....it's too much of a gamble.
Title is of course tongue in cheek, no offence meant.

OP posts:
RockerMummy184 · 29/08/2015 20:40

YABVU there's nothing grim about God's Own Country!

RockerMummy184 · 29/08/2015 20:41

Oh sorry, I just noticed Manchester! Us proper Northerners think that's still Darn Sarth! Grin

BabyGanoush · 29/08/2015 20:41

Having lived in lots of different places, I'd say it all depends on your attitude rather thsn the surroundings, be they North, West ir East.

If you are open minded and go looking for positives you will most likely have a positive experience.

You could always do a trial year, rent out your current home and rent in the north. That way you don't burn bridges behind you, you can get to know the new area, best neighbourhoods to live, schools that have space etc.

Spilose · 29/08/2015 20:41

Manchester is grim. And I would not class it as "up north"

LumpySpaceCow · 29/08/2015 20:41

Oh Aye, it's proper grim lass Grin

EndoplasmicReticulum · 29/08/2015 20:42

Up North is a big place. I don't know Manchester. It's nice here in Yorkshire though.

Brightbluebells · 29/08/2015 20:43

Yes, it is extremely grim. I can't imagine why you are even considering it. It rains constantly, people do not pronounce vowels correctly and everyone has a whippet.

Have you ever visited 'the North', wherever that may be for you? It is astonishingly similar to the South, only cheaper to live and a bit more chilled.

I am presuming that you have your tongue firmly in your cheek when you ask if it is grim in the north?

LuluJakey1 · 29/08/2015 20:43

Depend where you are talking about. Bits of Birmingham are supposed to be horrible- but that is the Midlands not the north. I think the North starts in Yorkshire. Middlesborough is pretty yuck. But mainly the North is great. We live outside of Newcastle in Northumberland. We are 36, have a lovely house, no mortgage, great quality of life, lots of open spaces, beautiful countryside and coast, lovely market towns, good schools. People are really warm and friendly up here. Good communities. It's looked after.

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