DH would like to know if HWBU.

[LaContessaDiPlump]

On a car journey to the in-laws. DS2 (3.1) suddenly threw up in the backseat (a result of chugging his hot chocolate ration, I feel) and so we hastily diverted course to the nearest services (not motorway).

Ran into the restaurant/cafe next door to the petrol station, looking for the loos. Noted a sign saying 'Only for patrons' and thought 'Ok, we'll buy something on the way back out'.

Hung around waiting for the proprietor to appear so we could buy something (he was cooking) - kids selected a pack of oreos, which we approved. Man turned up and DH asked how much, to which the man said '1.99'. DH was taken aback and said 'How much?! You're having a laugh! I'm not paying that' and sort of waved his hands in a bit of a 'shrug' motion while holding his money. The man smiled at him but didn't say anything. DH says that it was the smile that got his back up and he then told the man 'Sorry, no' and put the oreos back (telling DS1 that they were too expensive) and left. I tried saying 'Can we buy something else then?' but he chose to ignore me. I couldn't buy it myself as wasn't carrying any money, so just slunk out ahead of DH and the kids.

I think DH was v.rude and should have chosen something cheaper, like polos. He thinks he was totally justified in his actions.

Opinions please....

How many public loos that you have to pay for cost £2? I'm in London and most pay-for facilities are 20p. Of course the shop owner isn't going to go for that, far better that he fleece people by charging exorbitant prices for basic goods so they can use his loo.

Your DH wasn't BU.

do you not just clean up the child in the car? [misses point] (wet wipes, spare clothes, antibac for the car seat, antibacterial hand gel?)

oh and dh was unreasonable in his anger.

find something on sale you want that is close enough to the price you would pay to make the use of the toilets worth it.

Well i think it's mean minded not to let a child use the loos, especially if they are feeling off. I pop inyo pkaces often to let my kids use the loos. Fast food joints , pubs etc.

If his anger was OTT then that's different.

HWBVU. I bought some Oreos for £1.20 from a Sainsbury's metro (or whatever they're called) so it's not a ridiculous mark up. And even if it was there's just no need for the rudeness!

HWBVVU - it's a business not a charity, £2 is a small price to pay for cleaning up puke covered children, very petty

HWNBU assuming you didn't leave the loos in a sicky mess.
If this is a real issue for the shop they should just charge for the loos with cashback for patrons.

When I was travelling in Germany a few years ago, we stopped at a motorway service station. There was a charge for using the toilets - 50 cents, I think. If you bought something in the shop or restaurant, you were given a token which entitled you to use the toilet.

I rarely buy anything at motorway service stations in the UK because they are too expensive and I don't like the food - I come prepared. I do use the toilets, though - and I would be happy to pay a fee to do so.

I think he was being unreasonable. Everyone knows services inflate their prices because they can, it should have been expected. And as for the smile, it could just be that the person didn't know what to say in response to what your husband said. At the end of the day £2 to get everything cleaned up does seem a bargain as Crazyqueen said.

It was DH's tone that got me - it was obviously angry. I felt that that was unnecessarily aggressive and was embarrassed

Was he perhaps in a bit of a mood about having to stop and clean up a pukey child, took it out on the poor bloke and is now trying to justify himself?

I confess I was once on a long journey to somewhere I didn't particuarly want to go (grim family gathering thing!) with my two boys and we stopped at a services on the A1, each chose a drink (water/pop) and it came to almost a tenner! I was genuinely shocked and declined to buy them, I wasn't rude/angry but probably came across as quite odd to the poor young lad behind the counter. My stress about the journey and destination meant I wasn't my usual gracious self!

So, on balance, I think he should have just handed over the £2 and been thankful for the use of the toilets but we all have bad days, especially where vomit is involved, so, if it's unusual for him, I'd let it go.

I generally override him if I think he's BU, but it wasn't possible on this occasion. I will make sure to bring my bag in future.

We did strip DS2 off in the car park, but he announced that he needed the loo (me too, cries DS1 gaily) so we all went in. So no sicky tissues were left.

They did have water but we already had some and I think that would also have been overpriced, frankly. If I'm going to be overcharged I may as well get something tasty.

In fact, if I was the shop owner I would highly expect he had never intended to buy anything and was causing a scene about the prices so he could leave without the non-purchase being raised.
It did occur to me that that's how it must have looked...

Of the two of us I am generally the quickest to anger, but on the rare occasions that he does get irate then he gets really mad really quickly (IMO at least). He also calms down very quickly though. I have said to him before that just because it's infrequent doesn't mean his behaviour can be overlooked though. I control my desire to kick off, so so can he.

Places like that charge more - fact. He could have picked something else like you wanted to. Its more concerning that he chose to kick off about two quid when his first priority should have been your ill child. Two quid for a mop up/sort out to make your ill child comfortable is too much Seriously?. If he is that tight in a tricky situation, it doesnt bode well for rest of time. That would be crushingto me that ?2 is too much for my ill child.

I think he was being somewhat unreasonable, no one forced him to buy the Oreos and under the circumstances the shop assistant responded in quite a reasonable manner -rather than react to your husband's irritation he simply smiled back at him. Retail's tough, you get numerous people thinking that they can take their various frustrations out on you and if you show the merest sign of dissatisfaction at this you're considered to be in the wrong as the customer is always right!

I think your husband sounds like a bit of a dick tbh. That's what the Oreos cost - did he expect the man to say " Christ you're right, I'll give them to you for 50p" I'm not really sure why the man smiling pushed your husbands buttons, would he have preferred an eyeroll. I've no time for people who carry on in a superior way to those that work in retail and your husband would fall into that group in this case.

I think he gets more upset at minor things when there's something more important going on, if anything; he's at capacity trying to cope with the serious thing and so minor issues tip him over the edge. Not sure he always twigs that that's what he's doing though.

DS2 wasn't really ill - just vomited due to mainlining his drink. He's been fine since!