MIL talkathon - AIBU?

[Dontloookbackinanger]

MIL talks A LOT. She's a former gym teacher and has a very loud strident voice. She is an authority on every topic.

Any conversation is immediately hijacked and turned into a monologue about her past or she will deliver a lecture on a random topic. Recent examples:

1. dinner with MIL & my cousin. MIL regaled us with her early recollections of her grandmother's house down to positioning of coal hole and antimacassars. This went on for well over an hour with her talking over any attempt to interrupt.

2. Tonight she called as I was getting DS to bed. I said I'd call back. She replied that "It's like the Two Ronnies sketch" then launched in to a detailed lecture on who wrote the Two Ronnies, followed by a story of how she knew one of their relations and the meal they'd had in the relation's pub. WTF - I've never even seen the Two Ronnies. After half an hour I went out and rang my own doorbell to have an excuse to get back to DS.

3. Yesterday she asked how DS was. I said he'd had an accident with his toy lawn mower. Quick as a flash she interrupted to tell me (again - she'd already told me twice) all about DH's 1970s toy lawn mower in graphic detail, and then launched into a description of how to do perfect topiary. This went on for 45 minutes.

She's always been like this but since DS was born I spend much more time alone with her. FIL/DH just tell her to shut up which I am too scared can't do.

AIBU to have dreams that involve gagging her or putting her in a sound proof box? What would you do?

Thanks everyone for letting me know I'm not alone. Love the cooker timer and faulty phone ideas - will keep them up my sleeve for emergencies.

DH works long hours and is never sodding here to have the phone thrust at him. So sadly the "I'll get X" plan is rarely an option.

Re Two Ronnies - I had heard of them, just never watched them. .

My mother in law could talk for England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales and Russia. She appears to have no need to draw breath. I dread car journeys because I am always in the back with her and she simply doesn't stop. I have been known to get noise induced headaches if the journey is longer than 15 minutes. Whenever we leave the parents in law, my head is ringing as if I've just left a club for the night. Sometimes when I think she's finally run out of steam, she'll actually say, "Ooh, what can I talk about now? I know, my sister Jenny" and off she goes again.

Once on a day trip, when she'd actually gone into the passenger seat, she was talking the entire journey and was still going when we pulled into the car park, turned off the ignition and started getting out of the car. She was sitting there babbling on, with her seatbelt still on, while I slowly took mine off and got out, waiting for her to at least move to leave the car. When it became obvious she wasn't going to stop talking or move to get out, I got out and just slammed the door closed while she was inside talking by herself. Didn't know what else to do. Husband and father in law were pissing themselves.

Must remember the doorbell trick

And my mil is a retired teacher. God they think they know everythinh

Ummm, well I'm non of your dm,mil etc. (DD is 18mo & finds me fascinating!) but OH says I hijack conversations and "strongly advise" or turn it round to my own experiences.
I've been told its probably an aspect of my (mild) learning difficulties and am trying to learn not to. Makes OH very cross sometimes. For the record, also not in education, but was a h&s officer for a few years, still feel I'm expected to advise some times.....
Must try harder!

Why are you in the back with your mil on car journeys? If we take our car I expect to be in the front if your in laws are driving I thought they'd both be in the front. I don't think I've ever been in a car with my mil seems odd to all go on long trips together U.S. and kids is plenty

Us not U. S.

We usually let my husband take the front seat because he's tall with longer legs. I'm medium height and MIL is quite petite. At the moment we have no kids.

My MiL is lovely but I have a really annoying neighbour who talks loudly and incessantly about herself and her fecking kids. Had to give her a lift somewhere the other day and after 30 mins I was ready to throw her out of the car.

She is so self absorbed I am not sure she even knows my name.

Lol to the doorbell and faulty phone ideas.

Why do people not just say they have to go? I don't invent phone calls etc when I've had enough of a phone call (I don't do long phone calls) I just say "I have to get on with stuff now, lovely to here from you, bye"

Quite cathartic reading this as I was just wandering to station contemplating how fcked off I am after a wkend away with PILs listening to MIL talk about herself constantly!
She is also a chronic bragger/exaggerator!

Everything she talks at me about she has already told me countless times too. DP tells her to shut up or that she already told us this many times but she just carries on as if he never spoke.

For context, it's just a couple of weeks ago since I had a third consecutive mc. Am 37, no dcs yet, and obviously it's tough. So get to MILS and as per she starts talking about women who had children 'later in life' (she had DP when she was 24). She tells me they tried and tried and couldn't have another and how devastated they were. She's told me all about this often. Then she tells me I just need to be grateful for what I do have. Then she recounts the story of when she was pg with DP, how wonderful she felt, the story of his birth, how she loved being a mum so much blah blah pretty much right through to DP current day. She must have been talking non-stop for about forty-five mins. Never asked how I was or how I was feeling etc. Just all about her.

She then started talking through and describing each item in her vast --tacky-- jewellery collection then moved in to her shoe collection

Unfortunately we were staying with them so I had no escape :(

She also told me that as there is only two of us, we must have plenty of spare kitchen cupboard space (we don't) and we could use the space to store our clean, folded laundry

I usually avoid car journeys with Mil for precisely this reason. She does not understand the concept of a comfortable silence and has to fill it with endless trivial questions and comments about random stuff (though she has general themes which get brought up over and over again). It's unbearable and both DH and I are usually about ready to abandon her at the services after a couple of hours.

patienceisvirtuous I think in your circumstances I would have said directly "MIL you have to stop. This topic is too painful it's off limits." And then change the subject.

OP I have two MILs, both of whom can be like this. They ignore the doorbell, the other phone, the cooked timer, the "your tea is ready". We try to speak to then less often as a consequence so they miss out. I'd rather have frequent ten minute chats than have to build up to an hour and a half.

Just plug them in and pretend you are listening to some radio show that you need to catch up on.

My MIL is also like this, and is also an ex primary school teacher! I'd never made the connection before...

I don't mind it too much on the phone, but when it's face to face she actually starts edging closer and closer as she talks. I, of course, start backing away (I like my personal space)-she follows, until I'm either backed into a corner or have to sit down suddenly on the sofa. The worst time is when I've actually said I have to go now (they very kindly babysit once a week so I can go training)-the talking speeds up!

I've noticed, too, that all she's doing is saying the same thing, but five or six times in quick succession.

Sometimes I just walk out of the door, saying loudly that I have to go now or I'll be late. And sometimes, just because, I'll start talking at the same time.

I do love her though-she has a good heart and only wants to be helpful, so I try to be considerate.

Thinking further about it- she also tells me a lot how she was such a great teacher, all the children/parents loved her, she always got the best end of term presents etc etc.

I have a friend like this too.

It can be very wearing.

Can I just say as a teacher here. I loathe people who talk too much, and I hardly ever talk. I wish I could take a vow of silence! So it's not all teachers

Try to have a more positive relationship with her so you can be honest about when you have time for her and when you don't.

This thread is depressing considering how many are slagging off their mothers in law and mothers. Also those who say they don't have a much relationship with their MIL or celebrate that their husband also ignores and disregards his mother.

I hope you all remember this when your children marry.

Is this a mil thread?

If so can I say I had a fabulous and quiet mil and I am
A fabulous supportive and generally quiet mil too.

however my teacher dsis knows everything about everything, especially parenting and she has no kids. . One of my sils is very loud and chatty too and gives me a headache.

orangesanddemons I'm another teacher who can't wait to STFU at the end of the day.:o

I call out to my husband to come quickly and stop the nonexistent pot form boiling over, or to start serving up the nonexistent dinner. Or I put the phone down and crash around, pretending to be attending something urgent.

Or I hang up and pretend my phone ran out of battery.

... listening to MIL talk about herself constantly! angry
She is also a chronic bragger/exaggerator!

Everything she talks at me about she has already told me countless times too. DP tells her to shut up or that she already told us this many times but she just carries on as if he never spoke.

O.M.G - are you me?!

My MIL is lovely (and i wasn't going to post about her because it's her only bad trait - and lets face it, we all have at least one) but good lord i have never ever know anyone to big themselves up and talk about themselves as much as she does! And yes, the same things over and over again. Oh how fantastic at speed typing she was/is and oh how everyone in the office was secretly jealous. Oh how wonderful she was at parenting her children and oh how much closer to her her children are compared to her brothers and sisters kids. Oh how pretty and petite she is and goodness how short her tiny shorts used to be (bleurgh); yada yada yada.

Mainkster Venting on MN is how I cool off enough to be able to continue listening to my mum go on and on and on and on..... I timed her once. 93 minutes without remembering to ask about me or the kids. I put her on speaker and carry on doing stuff whilst she downloads (because I can't pretend it's a conversation!).

But she can't really help it. If I pointed it out to her she'd fall apart; she cannot take criticism at all. She has significant emotional difficulties/damage and really has no one else to talk at apart from her partner - and she can't talk at him about him!

I used to be a teacher. I noticed that it seemed to be an occupational hazard that after 20+ years in the job people seemed to just get used to talking at others instead of talking to others. Not everyone, obviously, but a fairly large proportion.