To give up a well paid career for a NMW job?

[WhoTheFuckIsSimon]

Ive just kind of applied for a job in a shop. Not sure of the wage but it's not going to pay well. But it's a shop related to a hobby of mine and I'm genuinely interested in it and think Id find it interesting.

I'm currently a midwife. I feel burnt out. I'm sick of the long shifts and the night shifts, I'm sick of the e rosta giving me 50 odd hours one week and 20 the next.. I'm sick of the paperwork and the pressure and the overwork/not enough staff/too many women.

More than anything im sick of the fear culture and investigations. I'm a good, experienced midwife but I see colleagues been hauled over the coals for really minor stuff which a few years ago no one would have batted an eyelid at. Medication given 30 mins late, etc. one of the matrons asked me to come and see her the other day and I felt physically sick as I went to her office.....turns out it was nothing at all, I wasn't in trouble. But I can't spend my life feeling like this.

Dh earns enough that we can cover bills no problem. But it's the nice things in life that would be a struggle....holidays, clothes, hair cuts, new gadgets. Id also have to go full time and at the minute im part time....so Id work more hours for less pay. It's nice having an extra day off for meeting up with friends, going to the gym, etc.

Alternative is to just to stick it out as long as possible until I do have a near breakdown, and at that point think "fuck it" and walk away.

Yabu if you will get an under qualified job and top up with benefits.

Have you thought about reducing your hours and doing another job part time?

Shop work is still shop work even if the goods you are selling interest you. You could end up bored and worse off too. Think carefully.

Are you sure you'd sustain your interest? A friend of mine did something like this, thinking that a low paid non-stressful job would be just what she needed. She ended up bored out of her mind and found relationships with others difficult because, as a very junior junior, she had to bite her tongue when she could see them doing something wrong. She ended up going back to her original career, though on a part time basis.

Can you look for a less stressful way of using your qualifications, e.g. teaching or nursery nursing?

Iron where did op mention benefits?

I'd look into cutting down your hours first then look for something else when you've got more time. When work takes up less of your time, the kind of crappy culture you're experiencing atm becomes less significant. Maybe? Could you be a private midwife or a doula?

I was a CP SW and have took a "job", still in Social Care, though.

I wanted my quality of life back and I've got it and am back having quality relationships with family members.

I find MN very money/career orientated, so I don't think it's the place to ask, unless your "down south" with a large mortgage, or expensive rent.

I find this site very anti "job", apparently it's a failing to do a job you can support yourself on and opt for a good life/work balance.

OP, please PM me if you want to. I'm a midwife but packed it in due to the pressures that you describe. I'm now a SAHM. I still have friends in the profession who are desperate to leave.

What a shame that MWs have to work like that. Could it be better in a different hospital?

YANBU There is more to life than money and the finer things in life. Happiness and health being much much more important. Especially if they are to effect other people around you (family and friends etc)

Yes you might make a mistake in doing so, yes you might find it boring. Also it might be the best decision you could ever make. But if you dont do it then you will never know.

I agree with others in you do need to think carefully as it is such a big decision, but please dont think you are stuck in being a midwife if it is making you very unhappy.

I'm sure I've read about private midwives, either on here or elsewhere. It might be worth investigating? You'd have far more control (insofar as anything to do with babies and due dates is controllable!) It would be a shame to waste your skills and experience. Presumably there are agencies who can help with insurance, bookings, tax etc?

You need a break & some distance, OP. go for it. Doesn't have to be forever. Just long enough to let your head clear.

Ive recently cut my hours down to 3 days a week. The e Rosta still gives me six days one week and one the next though.

I can't take a part time job or even a Saturday job doing something else to see if I like it due to midwifery shifts been all over the place.

I don't think it would be better at any other hospital, Friends in other hospitals....everyone seems to feel the same. Plus I'm 50 miles away from the next nearest hospital.

I wouldn't need benefits at all, we wouldn't even qualify for working family tax credit, don't qualify for child benefit actually and wouldn't even if I didn't work due to Dh being a higher rate tax payer.

I guess I could stay on the "bank" as a midwife and do the odd shift to top money up....and also keep my skills up. I could then return to midwifery one day if I wanted.

I'm in quite a rural and not very wealthy area so don't think there's any call for independent midwives. In fact a friend of mine packed in work two years ago to try and do this and got one client in that time and has come back to the hospital.

Can't you take a sabbatical? Even for a couple of months. Or go try the job and go back or on the bank if it doesn't work out?
I did similar to you and my pay is much smaller, but difference is my hours are much less and DhDh wages covers everything including non essentials and his bonus provides money for holidays

*I've only one Dh

Are there any related roles- training, teaching parentcraft, midwife based at a gp surgery, running groups for teen mums etc.

I personally would do everything I could to try and preserve part time hours. Loss of free time will make a big impact.

If you go for it remember you will lose perks like pension scheme, paid sick pay, hols more generous than statutory minimum.

I did midwifery clinical teaching for a bit and it was even more stressful to be honest. I had the responsibility of making sure all training was done but they also had me working in the wards all the time as so short staffed. So no time to do the work I needed to do. Id be trying to care for women and people would be asking about training, study days, etc. like trying to do two jobs in one role!

We don't have any specialist roles like teen pregnancy.

From what I see community midwifery is just as stressful. Same blame culture, same paperwork, same short staffed problems. At least with a shift I can generally leave on time as I hand over to someone. Community midwives seem to finish work late frequently due to being given too many visits/clinics.

My other half did this was a teacher on a .5 contract now working as charity shop manager on the same money but full time and loves it. Quality of life is so much better and money doesn't by happiness. I'd say go for it.

I'm in a part time job which doesn't use any of my qualfications. It's NMW but it brings in a bit of money and it suits me at the moment. No stress and quite people focussed.
There is more to life than money, but having said that we still have nice holidays etc and a good quality of life.
You have to weigh up what you will have to give up againt the lack of stress and what you will gain. It's a very personal decision.

You could try it and return to midwifery if you don't like it?

I'd go for it , I've just resigned from my very pt nursing post ,after 30 yrs with the same trust simply because I'm fed up of getting crap off duty and can't face another year of worrying about whether I'm working Christmas , I'm going to do a bit of bank work when I've had the summer off - it's a liberating feeling !

sounds hellish op

theres more to life than nice things all the time, not when getting them makes you ill

I can really relate to your post, OP, I felt exactly the same but I'm a teacher. Struggled so hard with how much the job has changed in the 11 years I've been in it, all for the worse. So, so much expected of you and treated like shit by managers if you're not going at 100mph all of the time.

I've just left my well-paid part time teaching job, took voluntary redundancy. I feel so happy, like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I didn't really realise it at the time but the job was making me depressed. I used to fantasise about crashing the car on the way to work, falling down stairs and breaking my leg etc.

I think I'm going to take a little bit of time out. Do something NMW like retail or as a TA. Then see how I feel and if I'm ready to step back in to a career. I think I owe it to myself.

I suggest you do it. Jump off the cliff. You won't look back.

YANBU. I'm seriously considering doing this, on the basis that there are more important things in life than money. (not a midwife).

I'm sure you could go back after a break if you got bored?