To want to mention this?

[CrohnicallyAspie]

I looked after a 5 year old at my house today. She was playing quite happily with my DD and we did a few activities together. She also admired some of my DD's toys, among other we've been collecting some little freebies.

After the 5 year old had gone home, I was tidying up and couldn't find one of the little freebies. The one in question is the 'best' one, ie it's pink and sparkly, all of the others are flat, dull colours. I remember the 5 year old particularly mentioning this one when she was looking at DD's toys earlier.

AIBU to think the 5 year old may have pocketed it? And if I really can't find it later after DD has gone to bed and I've completely blitzed the living room, WIBU to casually ask the 5 year old's mum if she's seen it? (Casually as in not accusing the 5 year old of taking it but along the lines of- oh DD's got some of those, but we lost the pink one recently, you didn't see it when you picked child up, did you?)

It's not the actual toy I'm bothered about- after all it was free- more concerned that I often have this child over to play with DD (and vice versa) and I don't want her thinking it's ok to take things that aren't hers. It wouldn't be practical to put all of DD's stuff away when the 5 year old comes over (besides, what if she took a fancy to something of mine next time?)

I'll add I stole a freebie - Andrex puppy soft toy! Looking back I feel like an idiot and of course my friends parents were well within their rights to ask for it back

I get how you feel Crohn, personally I'd text in the morning saying your dd was upset as it's gone missing.

I stole a cat once, first and only thing I've ever stolen. In my defense it was very ill and would have died if I hadn't.

I would text and say hey loved having X over but we are having a bit of a wobbly here. My dd cant find Y. Can you ask X if she remembers where it is?

As a parent I would then ask and frisk my kid and let you know. I'd rather you told me than have them thinking its ok.

A couple of dd's friends would regularly ram their pockets with sylvainians or some such. I would just get them to turnout their pockets when I got them ready to leave & reiterate we weren't the freebie house

How about "hi, lovely having X here today. Just having a bit of a mare here, [DD] has been asking for [the missing thing] this evening, I put her to bed and said I'd find it when I tidied up, but I can't find it anywhere! Can you ask X in the morning if she put it somewhere/in something or can you check if it accidentally came home with you? thanks!"

Amy's text is good.

Maybe add "we are having a bit of a wobbly here. My dd cant find Y. Can you ask X if she has it or remembers where it is? I'm not getting much sense out of DD!"

Actually Dinosaurs is better than mine!

Go with that.

Sorry but 5 is old enough to know better! Even my 3 yr old wouldn't steal a toy txt the mum and ask even if it was free it still doesn't belong to her.

If it was my five-year-old I'd want to know so that I could nip that kind of behaviour in the bud, as long as you told me nicely and not accusatorially.

I think you might be reading too much in to it. Just send a text saying 'DD was playing with the little whatevers after you left and she can't find the sparkly one. Did it accidentally get caught up with your DD's stuff?"