To be so conflicted about having another dc

[Inim]

DS is 2. I really really really want another.
Staring at tiny baby clothes in shops is almost a hobby

but I never had a proper job (I worked. Just in shops and bars. Not that that isnt a proper job, bit you know what I mean) I messed up at school and so had to re do GCSEs late then did my a levels late too and was 21 when I got pregnant and havent worked since then. I'm 24 now. The plan was to go to uni but then I got pregnant and decided to not go.

My worry is that if I have another, it wold end up being so long out of work it would be Impossible to get a job, kind of different to women who say have dc after being in work for 10 years and then take a few years out. I'd end up being about 26 and having no experience or anything.
No way can wr afford childcare for two dc, even with tax credits etc the extra on top would be more than I could earn near enough.

I'm going to uni in sept but its not a very good one its just the local one, and the degree is part time over 6 years. Of I had another now, I could use the 6 years to study and be a sahm then they both be at school when I'm done but I'm just worried I'd find it I.possible to get a job.

How do people decide things like this. I'd love a sibling for DS but I don't want to accidentally mess my life up (more than I already have due to be an idiot when yonger)

Adult life and decisions are no fun.

You don't have to explain DPs realtionship with his oldest child, sounds like he's had a rough time and did what he thought was best for his daughter at the time.

As far as having another baby is concerned, I don't see why it would stop you studying or working eventually. I gave up work when I had DC1 (worked in a call centre, so not a great job either). Started my degree when he was just over a year old, had DC2 in first year of part time degree and DC3 in year 4 of 6 years. Also did voluntary work with local Sure Start.

I completed my degree when DC3 was 2, worked part time for 3 years and am just about to start PGCE (eek, slightly nervous!).

It is hard work studying with young children, but it is doable. My ex left when I was pg with DC3, and I carried on studying with support from family. Don't assume it's one or the other, you can do both.

Good luck with your degree.