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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this isn't how you get off to a great start?

38 replies

jorahmormont · 27/08/2015 21:10

New neighbour is moving in next door. We are in a first floor flat and share a staircase with them, doors are about a metre and a half apart.

It is 9pm and he is currently moving all his wordly belongings (and there are a lot of them) up and down the stairs, slamming both the flat door and the front door as loud as possible and smacking furniture into our door as he goes past, chatting to whoever he's moving in with at the top of his voice.

DD should have been asleep at 7 but is currently restless in her cot and every time she falls asleep, the door slams and wakes her up. It is perfectly possible to shut these doors quietly, they're not fire doors or anything.

This calls for something stronger than gin.

OP posts:
scarletforya · 27/08/2015 21:14

Oh no. What an inconsiderate ass!

Maybe go out and introduce yourself and see if you can have a chat and let him know he's disturbing a sleeping child.

Supermanspants · 27/08/2015 21:19

YABU. He is moving in. It is one night of disturbance for you. Moving can be noisy and difficult, more so if it is into a flat which is not on the ground floor. Cut him a bit of slack. If he continues to make racket and cause disturbance once he has moved in then that is obviously unacceptable.

Original poster
jorahmormont · 27/08/2015 21:23

I don't mind him moving in, if I was complaining about moving in noise I'd obviously BU, but it's 9pm. He's moving into a set of 2-bed flats, it isn't unreasonable to assume that there will be young families here. The least he could do is keep his voice down and close doors quietly, surely?

OP posts:
NeathTheMexicanSky · 27/08/2015 21:27

It's stressful business moving house - the poor blokes probably had a hell of a long day, I would be straight out there offering him a cuppa!

Supermanspants · 27/08/2015 21:30

Maybe this was the only time he could move. Why would anyone assume there are families in two bedroom flats? People who don't have kids are unlikely to be thinking about the possibility of sleeping children. As annoying as it is for you the disturbance will hopefully just be for tonight. Perhaps he doesn't realise he is making so much noise.

Original poster
jorahmormont · 27/08/2015 21:31

Sorry Neath I'm a bit busy trying to get DD to sleep to be running around making cups of tea for them Hmm

OP posts:
Bejeena · 27/08/2015 21:33

Not to busy to post on here though haha

Supermanspants · 27/08/2015 21:34

Christ alive..... starting to feel sorry for the poor bloke having a neighbour like you. Am sure you 7 year old will cope with a bit of sleep disturbance Hmm

JeanSeberg · 27/08/2015 21:35

Have you offered to help? Asked him if he wants to borrow anything while he locates the kettle/milk/tea bags?

NeathTheMexicanSky · 27/08/2015 21:36

Beat me to it Bejeena Smile

Supermanspants · 27/08/2015 21:38

I have never 'run around' while making a cup of tea. What's that about then? Smile

HippyDippyRidingPretty · 27/08/2015 21:38

Sorry but we recently moved in and it was in evening time. It was the only time we could do it...it's a pain for you but it is only one night of disturbance.

Tbh I would be asking if he fancied a cuppa as there is nothing worse than sourcing your kettle and tea bags from the many boxes littering the new kitchen.

Original poster
jorahmormont · 27/08/2015 21:38

He's packed up and gone now Bej and DD is finally asleep.

Where did you get the idea I've got a 7 year old from Super? Grin Grin Grin

No funnily enough Jean I haven't because it was 9pm, I was in my pyjamas trying to get a baby to sleep, he was trying to navigate a tiny landing with what I assume was a sofa, and unless he likes plain milk he'd be going thirsty anyway Grin

OP posts:
Lurkedforever1 · 27/08/2015 21:38

Yabu. I'm sure he's not moving at 9 at night cos it's the best evening entertainment he can think of.

HippyDippyRidingPretty · 27/08/2015 21:39

Ha! Cross posted

Supermanspants · 27/08/2015 21:39

Very good point jorah Smile

Original poster
jorahmormont · 27/08/2015 21:39

It gives the tea more flavour super Wink

It would involve running around in this kitchen though as I'll be damned if I know where our tea and coffee is.

OP posts:
FanFuckingTastic · 27/08/2015 21:40

Perhaps he isn't used to having neighbours with children, or with how sound travels in a block of flats, it's still a reasonable time to move in and even to make a bit of noise, I'd not expect to have to keep quiet until about ten, as that was when we had noise restrictions in our block of flats in Germany, dunno if they have that here or not?

Door banging might simply be not enough hands to stop it occurring, so really it's just the talking, you could pop your head around the door and just ask if he could keep it down in the communal area as your child is being kept awake.

JeanSeberg · 27/08/2015 21:41

You sound like a bundle of fun, full of joie de vivre!

Original poster
jorahmormont · 27/08/2015 21:43

Right so I'll concede it's probably his only time to move in so complaints about the time, IABU. Holding my hands up on that one. And also we have moved a sofa into this flat and it was a fecking nightmare so IABU there too.

(In my defence, massive dripfeed alert, I'm poorly and raging with PMT)

The doors really can close quietly I promise, I really ANBU on that one!!

And unless he wants to see me bra-less in some Harry Potter pyjamas, proffering a baby's beaker of full fat milk, IANBU for thinking maybe I'll wait till he's settled in the morning for making my introductions Wink

OP posts:
Thisismyfirsttime · 27/08/2015 21:44

I think OP meant that 7 is bedtime, not that dd is 7!
Anyway, do you have any doorstops you could offer him? I have loads here (old heavy doors) so I'd go out and offer him one for his front door and one for the main door and explain you're offering as you are trying to get dd to sleep and I'd add in a lighthearted eye roll and comment about babies being a nightmare when they can hear something exciting going on so as not to come across too PA/ nightmare neighbourish. I'm assuming he has car/ van parked very nearby so that wouldn't be a security risk though but perhaps that's not the case otherwise surely it'd be easier for him to keep them held open when he's lugging stuff in anyway!

Original poster
jorahmormont · 27/08/2015 21:44

I really am, Jean. During normal business hours after a good night's sleep with a happy baby Wink

OP posts:
FortyCoats · 27/08/2015 21:45

Cups of tea? Offers of kitchen appliances? Ffs, he's a man! He's obviously worked very hard all day and now he's doing man things like lifting and being strong on probably his only day off. He hasn't time to be considerate because he's beating his chest. Lay off eh? He needs more than a cuppa!

Thisismyfirsttime · 27/08/2015 21:45

Ahh, got distracted whilst posting and didn't check for replies! Smile

FanFuckingTastic · 27/08/2015 21:47

What sort of doors are we talking? Like self-closing? If all hands are tied up with boxes and furniture, would the doors be banging because they are closing/getting knocked or blown around? Or is he just really shit at closing doors with his feet?