Am I being too sensitive?

[Andrewsgirl]

Just would like some opinions- am in a newish relationship , after coming out of a horrible emotionally abusive marriage , it's our first holiday away and following a trip to the supermarket I've been told by him that I'm the fussiest eater he's ever met. This has upset me, and I don't know if I'm just being too sensitive after coming from a relationship where I was constantly criticised or whether this was actually a pretty unnecessary comment to be made?

I suppose he made that comment with the knowledge of other times you've turned down food- for people who do eat everything, it can be frustrating coming across someone who doesn't share that attitude.

I would suggest you aren't well matched.

I would be single and friendless if everyone thought like that.

There's an awful lot the OP will eat, so I think he's being over-dramatic.

nanny I just meant he is clearly one of 'those' sort of people who has no tolerance of food quirks. Making a big deal out of quite minor food preferences suggests to me that they aren't well matched.

I don't like salad either. I don't equate 'dont eat salad' with 'dont eat any vegetables at all ever'.

That's not quite what I said. I said it's an equally broad and blanket statement. Dismissing all salad is an equally broad statement to dismissing all vegetables. They're such huge and diverse classes of food.

Supermarket shopping is not fun. Trying to plan meals for someone you don't know is even less fun.

If it was an out of the ordinary comment from him, I'd let it go. If he generally makes you feel like you're more hassle than you're worth, let him go.

If he eats a lot of curry, salami and generally spicy dishes, you probably do seem fussy to him. If he didn't eat those things often, it wouldn't register. It's just personal perception.

I think that the first time you go away with someone you see them very differently. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not! I wonder if he had a few key dishes he'd have liked to cook for you (to impress) and your dislikes put an end to it? I also wonder if he's found the holiday a bit stressful and is getting irritable?

I agree that salad covers a broad spectrum of foods - a basic salad of lettuce tomatoes and cucumber without dressing is boring. But salad covers so many things - couscous salad with roasted vegetables, coleslaw, rice salad, pasta salad, potato salad, salad Nicoise, Greek salad and so many, many more. If I was in a relationship with someone who point blank refused to eat any salad at all I would probably agree with the comment about being fussy.

However, I appreciate that not everyone likes salami or spicy food and wouldn't class that as being fussy.

It is possible that you're being over sensitive. I eat salad but do have a fair few foods I don't want to eat - never a problem and I can happily eat most things but I know I'm considered to be fussy by people who are real foodies and those who like to try everything. I wouldn't be offended by that comment.

I have to say that apart from toddlers, you would be the fussiest eater I'd ever met. My DH for example dislikes tomatoes and celery, but to dismiss salad in its entirety is pretty fussy to me.
However that's completely irrelevant. If the tone of voice made you feel bad than YANBU to be upset by it.

Although in saying 'ever met' I mean 'know well enough to discuss their dietary preferences'. Angela in accounts may well only eat fried chicken and nothing else, but I've never discussed it with her.

Not sure what "don't like salad" means. It's a huge category of food to not like, isn't it? Everything from lettuce to coleslaw via potato salad and sliceed cucumber.

Sorry I should have been clearer, when I said salad I meant green salad, so I don't really like lettuce, cucumber and tomato type salad, I love other types of salad eg potato salad, couscous, rice salad etc. Thanks for all your opinions and I guess it's more about how he made me feel when he said it!

I agree that this makes you the fussiest eater I know - but if you don't like how he speaks to you, and he doesn't like fussy eaters, then you won't get on very well, will you?

I don't know.. It is quite unusual to not like any of the components that make up a salad, but compared to the foods you WILL eat it's a drop in the ocean. It is a little fussy! Maybe everyone he knows eats everything so you appear really fussy to him.

I don't eat meat on the bone or eggs in their pure form (fried, hard boiled etc) but never been called fussy as people I know rarely eat these things either, or my partner might eat them but I'll just miss them out.. never an issue. Everyone I know has things they won't eat..

I find myself getting irritated by adult fussy eaters and I'm not sure why, as I know people are entitled to eat what they want and it's none of my business. I can't help it. I think it's because I associate it with toddlers/small children. I don't show my irritation though!

In that case I don't think you are too fussy then.