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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be sick to death of MIL's reaction to DS's name?

115 replies

AberdeenAngus · 27/08/2015 19:53

DS has a normal, everyday, run of the mill, boys name. We picked it because it's a varient of my dad's name. He died while I was pregnant. :(

The response of everyone else to his name was an 'ahh, that's nice, like your dad' kind of response. MIL's response was 'ahh, that's nice, like the [insert name of obscure breed of farmyard animal]. I put that down to her being a bit batty and just ignored it, but for the last 3 years she has been obsessed with this connection between his name and this farmyard animal. Every item of clothing she buys him, every toy, every book has it on it/in it. It's not even the breed that has his name as that's too obscure and she can't find anything, so she gets the bog standard breed instead. A dress up costume came in the post today.

AIBU to be sick of this and to wonder what the fuck is going on in her head?

OP posts:
WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 27/08/2015 20:51

I've got Shaun the sheep pjs on at the moment and they're fab.

Original poster
AberdeenAngus · 27/08/2015 20:52

To be fair, I do think she means well. She does tend to lack imagination and be a bit obsessive over things she thinks are liked. eg the cake she made DH when he was a kid, which he loved at the time, so now he gets one every time she sees him. When I met him his freezer was full of them, now he takes them into work.

OP posts:
PaulAnkaTheDog · 27/08/2015 20:53

I actually fail to see the issue here. It's a granny being nice. It's not insulting, it's just a wee thing she does. Ds has a cousin called Sean who is affectionately nicknamed The Sheep. It's just a family joke.

Original poster
AberdeenAngus · 27/08/2015 20:53

Love it FortyCoats.

OP posts:
BarbarianMum · 27/08/2015 20:54

Well give the poor woman a break then because she's trying to be nice!

NarcyCow · 27/08/2015 20:58

My parents decided when I was 14 that I was going to collect sheep themed things. Every present any of my family got me for the next decade had sheep on it.

When I moved out I threw bags and bags and boxes of them up into our attic, from whence I finally binned them last week, with an overwhelming feeling of relief.

I hated the fuckers.

Seriously, you need to put a stop to it, it's not fair on him to have this pinned on him for life, when he could be getting good presents that actually interest him.

derxa · 27/08/2015 21:00

Jacob sheep are very distinctive with horns and black wool. Is there much on the market with Jacob sheep on it? Was FIL's formal name Jacob but nicknamed Jamie?

Wolpertinger · 27/08/2015 21:19

OK after the cake example she clearly does mean well. But if you don't want him having sheep only gifts until the end of her life, you will have to say something. At least get a similar collection of football gifts.

CheekyMaleekey · 27/08/2015 22:00

Jamie and Jacob aren't at all alike

LadyB49 · 27/08/2015 22:08

Give granny a break. She's being nice, even if it is irritating.
Perhaps tell her that there's so much of this stuff now that it would be good to move on to a more boyish theme.

Griphook · 27/08/2015 22:19

Give the woman a break, she is brought a sheep and someone probably told Her it was nice so she keeps buying them, it doesnt take away anything from your dad.

Just tell her that Jacob is growing out of sheep and is more into football so could she get something footbally instead.

She just wants to buy her grandson something.

rainingsleepingbags · 27/08/2015 22:21

I'm sorry about your dad. My mum died when I was pregnant. It's shit Flowers

I have never in my life heard of Jacob sheep. Even Angus took me a while to make the connection Blush

It seems your MIL is being incredibly unimaginative, which can sometimes seem like thoughtlessness, especially as your DS's name has such meaning for you. It would be nice if she could be a bit more sensitive and tone it down, but IME people in general aren't particularly sensitive.

DT1 went through a phase of being obsessed with cows, and we had certain relatives acted so bloody smug if they managed to find her a gift or card with a cow on it. Which would be fine if they had put equal effort into finding something that DT2 liked! The fact that they didn't just demonstrated to me that they were only finding cow stuff to show off how clever they were Hmm

DT1 is indifferent toward cows now Grin

5Foot5 · 27/08/2015 22:26

TBH when I hear the name Jacob I would think of sheep rather than Jamie. I had no idea there was a link between those two names. And I don't think Jacob sheep is such an obscure breed, it's one of the very few breeds of sheep I could name and that's after watching an episode of Flockstars!

Theydontknowweknowtheyknow · 27/08/2015 22:26

They make nice yarn but a bit itchy.

I think you need to tell her the connection as it's not obvious.

SenecaFalls · 27/08/2015 22:28

I would make the James/Jacob connection, only because I studied Jacobean literaturegrin- named after the reign of King James.

I would make the connection, too, from having studied Scottish history---Jacobite, from James II (and VII, of course).

SavoyCabbage · 27/08/2015 22:30

Is she using it for an excuse for shopping/acquiring stuff do you think? (Or am I projecting my own MIL issues here).

I think Narcy, is right and that you have to put a stop to it before it becomes a label that he has had no say in whatsoever.

Theycallmemellowjello · 27/08/2015 22:33

Sorry, I think YABU. She's just being nice, and thinks it's a cute in-joke. Unless there's a huge backstory, I'm sure she's not doing this to show disrespect to your father (and the fact that it was your father's name doesn't mean it doesn't have any other associations). Just let her get on with it. What's the harm?

Clawdy · 27/08/2015 22:38

Theycallmemellowjello I agree with you,just what I was thinking.

TheCrowFromBelow · 27/08/2015 22:40

My great aunt kept Jacob sheep. I guessed Jacob, but not Jamie.
Honestly just let it go. My MIL drive me up the wall with similar irritating things that actually were very trivial.

mrstweefromtweesville · 27/08/2015 22:41

Anything with sheep on she sees, she buys
Send them to me. My dd's name means 'yearling ewe'.
Don't feel sheepish about it, just lamb-p them over to me as fast as you like. Is your mil called Baa-baa-ra, by any chance?

Nanny0gg · 27/08/2015 22:48

AIBU to be sick of this

Yes.

and to wonder what the fuck is going on in her head?

She is being a kind and thoughtful granny (in her own way) who wants to buy things for her DGC.

Dreadful.

MackerelOfFact · 27/08/2015 22:52

I can see why ewe are annoyed but she doesn't sound too baaaaad really - it's just her shear determination to ram it down your throat.

noiwontstoptalking · 27/08/2015 23:03

No no no! People who are saying that they don't understand why this is a problem have clearly never been on the receiving end.

When I was about 9 yo I used my pocket money to buy a cat toy, and loved it.

Someone decided that I was 'collecting' cats. Every birthday and Christmas for the next TEN YEARS I received cat toys, clothing, bed linen, jewellery, cushions, slippers, ornaments, pictures, stationery, bags. It killed any liking I had for cats stone dead.

It's infectious too. New friends boyfriends Mum see/hear about the cat stuff and join in.

And it's unstoppable.

The only way to halt it is to make a big deal of it (believe me polite protestations fall on deaf ears).

Then the guilt starts "but I thought you liked cats. when I was 9, who really wants cat jewellery for their 21st birthday

Seriously I was married before I managed to finally stamp it out.

Be polite but channel buying in another direction.

Madeyemoodysmum · 27/08/2015 23:10

Weird! I know loads of Jacobs and Ihave never made that connection . Cracker maybe!

Bulbasaur · 28/08/2015 03:47

Ok, I know it's annoying now, but when your DS is grown, he's going to look back on his crazy grandmother and chuckle.

It doesn't seem like it's a passive aggressive poke or anything. I'd live and let live. and toss some sheep in the charity box

Aside from this what-the-fuckery, how is she as a grandmother? Is she good with him? If she is, I'd let her just show him affection the way she wants.