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To be stressing about nursery

3 replies

Singsongsung · 27/08/2015 16:28

Due to financial circumstances our dd2 went to nursery pt at 6 months. She settled really well and loved it there. All good. However, I decided to change jobs which meant a move of nursery (dd2 is now 1).
We've started settling in visits over the holidays and they are not going well. She has clung to me like a limpet and not wanted to go. I've read all the books, tried to follow the strategies. Dh who has read none of the books took her yesterday and left her crying her eyes out with no goodbye (he woke her from a sleep to take her rather than rearranging the time so she was tired and grumpy to start with).
My AIBU is a merry mix of being worried and cheesed off at dh for making a mess of it yesterday and causing her to associate the place with being dumped.
There. The end. The off load was worth it whatever the outcome!

OP posts:

PettsWoodParadise · 27/08/2015 22:01

Look when I went back to work six months was the outside. Often it is a good thing as separation anxiety hasn't fully set in so don't fret. You are Not being unreasonable just wanting the best which is any parent's desire for DCs (or I like to hope...). Sounds like you love and care which are the bedrock. There will be other parents who are equally cheesed off that DCs sauntered gayley into nursery with no backward glance. Take heart that this is likely to be temporary. May be a bloody nightmare but will add another pillar to that solid foundation you are construction, when you get over it. School / nursery isn't all about numbers and letters and the three 'rs', the sort of experience you are going through and DC is gong through are priceless lessons about coping, independence etc. I often have issues with how DH deals with things but we have a motto - we make a great team - we all have the same goal, sometimes get there differently and often use different skills. I am quite happy I can't iron and DH can! Seriously though from what I hear through this short post you aren't doing anything wrong, the wrinkles need to iron out and then it should be fine. Children are remarkably adaptable. It broke my heart when I went back to work full time when DD was just under six months old and DH took over, staying at home while I was out of the house 12 hours a day . But he does a good job. With the odd hint from me, every so often. Sort of.


BestZebbie · 28/08/2015 10:35

If the problem is that she is going through a clingy phase (eg: an issue coming from within her, not from the nursery), then it will pass quicker if you just keep leaving her there with a friendly but firm/brief goodbye.
My DS had a clingy phase at about 10 months and started being distraught at being left at nursery pt even though he had loved it until then, it was very stressful for both of us for two weeks and then he started just doing a token two-second cry/hold on and immediately looking for the breadstick that they had sometimes bribed/distracted him with.....


FrenchJunebug · 28/08/2015 11:30

Don't worry. My ds was like that but after 5 minutes was his happy self. It's a phase and you and DH are not bad parents.

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