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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think MN has just become a place where people talk at other people?

20 replies

Cawanaka · 27/08/2015 10:57

I'm exaggerating I know and I have had some amazing advice from people in here over the years. I'm talking more about the more light hearted threads like food and chat.

Today I saw a thread where a poor MNer was looking for breakfast ideas for her absurd DH and listed all the things he won't eat. Someone has replied basically relisting the things she has said he doesn't eat with a few extras.

It feels like so often MN is a place for people just to be smug. I'm always seeing things like a poster will say 'bleurgh miserable weather any ideas for rainy day activities' and someone will always reply 'err why wouldn't you just wrap and go out, I take my DC out rain or shine, just because it's raining doesn't mean you should just sit around in front of the television all day HmmHmm. This modern aversion to the outdoors really gets my goat. Children should learn to enjoy all weather not just sit in front of a playstation, Jesus wept' and so on. OP may well have spent the whole morning splashing about in puddles with her DC and now they are drying out and want to spend some time inside.

I could rant forever with examples tbh.

OP posts:
ShallHeBeTheOne · 27/08/2015 11:00

I quite agree.

Original poster
Cawanaka · 27/08/2015 11:18

I should have capitalised AT there

OP posts:
echt · 27/08/2015 11:32

It feels like so often MN is a place for people just to be smug. I'm always seeing things like a poster will say 'bleurgh miserable weather any ideas for rainy day activities' and someone will always reply 'err why wouldn't you just wrap and go out, I take my DC out rain or shine, just because it's raining doesn't mean you should just sit around in front of the television all day hmmhmm. This modern aversion to the outdoors really gets my goat. Children should learn to enjoy all weather not just sit in front of a playstation, Jesus wept' and so on. OP may well have spent the whole morning splashing about in puddles with her DC and now they are drying out and want to spend some time inside.

If the OP asks for ideas, they'll get them. To expect other posters to try and imagine what the the OP in the rainy situation might have already tried is not reasonable. So such suggestions aren't smug.

Can't respond to the breakfast suggestions, but, you know what, it was one poster responding to one OP, so hardly MN.

YABVVU to generalise.

tomatodizzymum · 27/08/2015 11:37

just like in real life parent groups. Put lots of people together who have children but come from all walks of life, and you'll always get conflicting advice that will not be to everyone's taste. The most outspoken or opinionated will be the most noticed.

JeffreysMummyisCross · 27/08/2015 11:40

I think, certainly, some of the boards have an aspect of that about them. I always think it's a shame that the "Politics" and "In the News" boards are not more frequented, given that there are clearly a lot of well-informed people on MN. But I can see why people give it a wide berth, as it's dominated by a couple of posters who simply deliver extensive, shouty, propaganda-style rants at anyone else who posts on there.

But I do think that the rest of the boards have, in the main, avoided falling into this pattern. Sure, you will get the occasional thread / poster which does this, but compared to other forums, I think MN does quite well!

Original poster
Cawanaka · 27/08/2015 11:47

I'm not talking about people
Just having different opinions. I'm talking about someone just using the post to push their own agenda/how brilliant they are. If someone says can I have some ideas for indoor activities it isn't just difference of opinion that makes someone go 'good god why on earth do people think that just because it's raining you can't go outside'. Which is neither an opinion or an answer.

Also as I said I could think of a hundred examples, I'm not basing it on one post.

But yes tbf I don't frequent other forums so I'm sure that is true that MN isn't bad in contrast.

OP posts:
Original poster
Cawanaka · 27/08/2015 11:50

And to add I'm not criticising the 'wrap them up and splash in some puddles then home for hot chocolate' type responses. I mean people who jump on the opportunity to assume that the OP mostly sucks her DC in front of the television and that they are frightened of doing outside because... Nature.

OP posts:
LuisSuarezTeeth · 27/08/2015 11:56

I mostly talk to myself Grin

magimedi · 27/08/2015 11:58

Luis - I agree. And always get great replies Grin

Mmbop · 27/08/2015 12:11

I agree actually, always becomes clear when people haven't rtft and end up posting something largely unrelated to the now-current topic. I just don't understand why you would post on a 12 page thread having read only the OP? Or, on the rare occasion that I click on a baby name thread, the op has specified 'must be 3 syllables, go with this surname, can't be x y or z, wouldn't mind something Irish?' And then there's a list about thirty names long just copied and pasted from a list of Irish baby names. I don't even particularly read the baby names threads but it's so clear there sometimes that it's just annoying, I'm sure OP has checked Google Hmm

LynetteScavo · 27/08/2015 12:22

It's always been the way on MN.

Years ago a poster asked for advice to cover leg veins and was told by several posters she was lucky she had two legs that worked. She just nodded and agreed and went off none the wiser. Confused

LynetteScavo · 27/08/2015 12:23

It's always been the way on MN.

Years ago a poster asked for advice to cover leg veins and was told by several posters she was lucky she had two legs that worked. She just nodded and agreed and went off none the wiser. Confused

ExitPursuedByABear · 27/08/2015 12:25

And some people just keep repeating themselves.

Thelushinthepub · 27/08/2015 12:25

That's what all forums are like 99% of the time. You can hide behind your screen and indulge your natural desire to criticise others

W00t · 27/08/2015 12:27

Arf exit!

dontcryitsonlyajoke · 27/08/2015 12:29

Just had a couple of people do this on my S&B thread which has been running for a few weeks about how to look your best at the age of 40. They came on and ranted about how they're perfectly happy with how they look and why does everyone want to look younger and isn't it sad people are so focussed on this rather than other more important things etc. I never said I wanted to look younger and had already posted that this was one of many things I'm doing to improve my life as I hit this milestone. I was so incensed at their missing the point AND failing to read the rather useful thread AND just talking at us that I'm afraid I got a bit shirty this morning Blush

redexpat · 27/08/2015 12:41

Oh yes the people who miss the point never fail to astound me dontcry

Original poster
Cawanaka · 27/08/2015 12:44

I know it's unreal. I think people do it on purpose though. Ooh an opportunity to talk about what I want, damn the OP doesn't really say what I want to argue with, oh well I'll just ignore that and bundle in any way.

OP posts:
beardsrock · 27/08/2015 12:50

Yawn

Ber2291 · 27/08/2015 15:21

Awks thread killer

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