to buy car seats for DM's car?

[MaltaVestrit]

DC2 and 3 are about to start school this year, joining DC1 already there. my DM lives a couple of miles from me and is the second emergency contact for the school.

DM has a car seat for DC1 (HBB) as quite often she could collect him from school if I was out etc, she also took him swimming once a week - basically it was a no-brainer, she needed a car seat for him and HBBs aren't expensive anyway.

DTs are still in 5 point harness and will be I expect for at least another 18m - 2 yrs as they are quite small. I think I need to buy them seats for DMs car. whilst I doubt she will be collecting as often now its all 3 there will still be times when its needed/wanted and if there is an emergency (I'm thinking vomiting child rather than A&E trip) and I'm a distance a way she will need to be able to collect them.

At the moment if DM has all 3 I would have been dropping at least the DTs off as not yet at school so would leave the car seats with her but now it will be a real faff to have to specifically drive to DM's to leave the seats when DC are at school, plus this doesn't help for the 'help I'm stuck in traffic' which may mean I cant get back and need her to pick them up.

So I think I need to buy seats - not really expensive, just a basic one as its only for short trips (if we were leaving them for longer I could leave the better quality seats from our car) but DH thinks this is a waste of money and DM looked a bit when I suggested it.

The cheapest seem to be around £80 each which is quite a lot of money for us.

so do others provide car seats for grandparents' cars?

(to not drip feed, my DM is very involved with our day-to-day life, she is happy to have them and wants to have them etc etc. she absolutely knows she can always say no to having them etc)

For a vomit collection, they would only need one?

How many other passengers does your DM carry in the car?

How old are Dc2&3?

If the back of he car will not be needed by big people, and you fit the seats knowing they will stay correctly fitted, I would buy them.

If the dcs only do short journeys (not sleeping) and are over about 18 months, I would buy a pair of 1-2-3 seats. So when they outgrow the harness, you already have your boosters.

Britax evolva, cosatto, koodee... Plenty to choose from.

If DM is expected to fit 3 every week, on her own, after taking adults to other things, no. Too much faff for her.

DM has a 7 seater so would still have space if she needed other people. plus she is full capable of fitting the seats as and when needed.

DTs are 3, starting at pre-school on site of the primary school.

DM doesn't transport other people around other than one off stuff. She doesn't work and is generally around the house.

yes I was thinking cheaper 1,2,3 seats - it would have to be an 'own brand' one as we really cant afford branded ones (we have britax for our own car)

school to DM's is 4 miles. she may occasionally take them to the park or shopping with her - about 8 miles.

its also not unusual for the DC to go to sleepover with DM (DF is around too but works so hence not mentioned thus far!) and I think it would just be all round easier if she had the seats just to collect them from school without worrying about who had what seats where.

In that case, yes. Buy seats. Check out sales. Mothercare often have half price deals on.

If the seats won't inconvenience her, and will be useful, it's an investment i your dcs safety.

When DD2 outgrew her 5-point seats age 5, we sold them on via the local paper to someone who needed them for grannies.

Yes I know you shouldn't buy second hand, but ours were 2.5 years old, had never been in a crash or been sicked on and had more or less been fitted into both our cars and never moved. So we reckoned that if someone wanted them then we knew they were OK.

we own 3 of each car seat, mine, his and lending (have done for all stages).
Nothing worse than faffing about moving carseat if you can afford not to.

I also have the britax 1-2-3. Great seat, but a right pain to fit! I wouldn't expect anybody to fit 3 of them for me. Ever. Unless I had a car with longer, less grabby belts.

whycant I know, they are a total PITA! hence why I don't want to keep unplugging the damned things!!!

I was looking at the toys r us own branded one, its on sale at the moment: CarSeat

2 of those would do it then life would be easier. My df has one of those plus boosters for the grandkids.

A 1-2-3 is probably your best bet. Both the Mothercare and toys r us own brand ones are utter shite though. They are also only tested at 33mph (legal minimum) rather than the 55mph or so that maxi cosi/britax/ cybex test at.

The britax evolva is almost always on sale and you can get it fairly cheaply if you aren't bothered about the colour. £80 each might seem like a huge expense but the seats will last nearly a decade.

My MIL bought a 1-2-3 seat for about £40 (argos or halfords I think) it's for short, emergency only journeys (surely, any new car seat is safer than the option of taking a taxi without a car seat) so a basic one suffices.

Since it's only for the odd occasion I'd have a look on local fb selling sites.

We got basic kiddicare ones for granny's car - think they were £25 I a flash sale. They're fine for short journeys - wouldn't want them in them for long periods though as they don't look very comfy and DTs heads flop forward if they sleep.

We also got basic ones for grandparents. They looked after dd1 two days a week and I didn't want them to be stuck inside all day, let alone stuck in case of an emergency - them or dd.

Out of curiosity, why are you (plural) happier to spend more on a seat for your own car but would rather spend much less on a second seat? Is that based on the idea that you're less likely to have a serious accident during a shorter journey/ used less often?

I may or may not work with car seats and I just don't get it

patapouf in our case because they will only be used on journeys of less that 4 miles on roads with 30mph limits and only in rare cases.

we have the evolva for them in our car but I just haven't got £200 to buy two of them and they are an absolute bugger to fit

what would be your cheapest recommendation then Patapouf?

Bounty often have offers on car seats, you might get a good one for a decent price. Would definitely buy them regardless of what dh and dm thought (as long as I knew she would use them)

Have you considered the Joie Stages? It goes up to about 7, I think - maybe even longer if your kids are on the small side. It's also easy to fit and has quite a good recline, so not too much head-lolling.

Because I have used the car seat in my car twice a day at least since we bought it (approx 2 years- over 1,000 journeys). The car seats in grandparents' cars have been used maybe 10 times.

Because, as I said earlier, if grandparents need to pick up DD in an emergency, a cheap car seat is better than taking a taxi with no car seat, and would allow DD to be picked up quicker than if they needed to collect a car seat first or use public transport.

Because for the main car seat aspects such as comfort on long journeys are a factor as well as safety.

Because we have a total of 4 car seats and we couldn't afford to spend £200 on each of them, we prioritise spending on the seats that will be used most.

Just realised this was an AIBU - what was it you thought might be unreasonable, OP? Having your toddlers in car seats, however short those journeys are, certainly isn't U. Are you wondering whether your mum should pay for the seats? I think that's the kind of thing that depends on your family, and an awful lot of other factors. But my inclination is that you should probably pay for them, if that is indeed your AIBU.

laquila DH thought IABU to buy another set of seats when money is tight and they wont be used hardly at all. I think he IBU to expecting me to always be close enough to get back to the school if needed because without car seats there is no point DM being the second contact for the school.

Yea totally agree with you - tell your husband you might be able to sell them on afterwards and more to the point, you can't really put a prix Ron safety (although I totally appreciate your point about buying cheaper ones for occasional use - we couldn't have afforded two of our main (£350) car seat, but the Joie Stages works well (and actually fits better) in my mum's car.