To want to be at home. Please help!

[LittleRedRidingHoodie1]

A quick one:

I work in a high pressure sector (don't want to say as don't want to out myself) and the demands of the job are beginning now to take their toll. I'm not boasting - I am very good at my job BUT I am now beginning to resent how much it's taking me away from home and family and I don't want to do it anymore. This is not a life and it's not fair that other people's lives - my family - are affected by the demands of my job. I don't know whether it's relevant or not but I do not have children. I don't know how anyone in my position could have them and still do this job but they do.

I have other family members who need me. I'm sick of the constant pressure and having to work well outside my hours by doing work at home too as is expected by my employer. My job is not linked to my passions in life which obviously does not help- I think I'm burnt out. I am very interested in animals and have a very minor qualification to do with this. My current role is nothing to do with animals. There don't seem to be any animal jobs in my area that come anywhere near the salary I need- I can't support my household on minimum wage. I have a mortgage and pay all bills but I have other family members living with me that I need to support who do not contribute financially and are unable to do so.

I feel trapped in my current job. Has anyone else ever felt like they're trying to be good at work and good at home but end up giving less to both because all these plates are spinning in the air?

I also believe that if I don't want to do my job anymore then I shouldn't because it's not fair on the people I work with - my lack of enthusiasm must be beginning to show by now. The people I work with are so lovely- me wanting to leave is nothing to do with them.

I'm also aware that a zillion people don't want to do their job and this sounds like self-centred moaning so I feel guilty about that. I know that we can't all have our 'dream job' and I'm really very lucky when some people are struggling so much to find employment.

I want to work at home but can't find anything that isn't a scam or unstable- I need regular stable income. I also looked at less high pressure jobs - I suppose roles that might be deemed a job rather than a career - but they again don't match the salary I need or don't come close (because I am able to drop some but not much income). Due to being in a niche role, I'm not skilled or experienced for many other things so a lot of employers would just write me off I think as why employ someone with no experience when you can choose from hundreds who have lots?

Just realised I said this was short and it isn't. I feel desperate and suffocated by this. So basically:

• Are there any work from home roles that are 'real'?
• Are there are any well paid animal jobs other than vet/vet nurse? I have a vet nurse assistant qualification which is nowhere near the same as a vet nurse.
• Am I missing a really obvious solution?
• Does anyone else feel like this? I miss my family.
• AIBU to want to work to live, not live to work?

Sorry for rambling.

Hoe many family members do you need to support? Do they not have any income?

Yanbu.
But there aren't any jobs with animals that are well paid. You do it for love not money.

I am supporting three ish. A parent who lives with me, my sister with SEN and her son. I don't fully support my sister and her son as she has a job now and all my parents money (what little there is) goes on supporting her and her son. They fully fund him as she is unable to do so and I chip in and also help them.

*Parents'

Yanbu but there is unlikely to be fast solution.

If you earn a good salary you are unlikely to find a job working with animals (that's not vet/vet nurse) that matches.

I don't know any jobs working from home where you can walk straight in and earn really good money straight away. I own my own business and both me and dh work from home. We opened the business 18 months ago and are still on minimum wage, because the profits are going into growing the business. But life is much more relaxed so we are happy with as we can afford our bills.

You need a clear plan to reduce your outgoings so you can open up the job field.

Are the family members likely to be with you a long time?

It's sounds like you need to sit down as a family and you need to tell them that this can not continue. You will end up ill.

Is it your property or do you live in their house.

Yes they are likely to be with me long-term. I hardly see my partner but that's another issue. Spartans did you and your DH have any experience before you opened your own business or was it a brand new venture? Are you able to be flexible with your time now?

Spartans it is my own property.

I am off this week and am reflecting massively inbetween picking up work email after work email.

Your family would benefit from specialist financial and benefits advice/review. Difficult to do here but CAB or similar should be able to help.
Also contact Adult Services at your local council, they can do an assessment under the Care Act 2014 of the family as a unit but with special regard to your sister and her SEN.

Have you thought about you & your partner living together ?
Does he own a property you could move into ?
Whilst it sounds lovely of you to support your parents and sister & child you don't have to
What will happen when you want a family of your own ?

I don't wish to sound glib op but don't you think everyone wants a job that they love, in a field they are passionate about, working from home, with little or no stress, that pays fabulous money?

Something, somewhere on that list has to give

But hey, if you find that job, let me know

Lilaclily he rents. I can't even imagine having a family of my own at the moment because there's just no time or space. I think I do need to do what everyone so far has said:

• assess outgoings
• contact CAB
• be firm

Bitoutofpractice I know precisely- I said that in my post and I agree with you. Everyone would like their dream job. But I'm willing to settle for anything that pays enough if it gives me more family time.

In reality the living situation isn't working is it?

Maybe workin for everyone else but not for you.

We had some experience. However we moved into a new sector of the industry we both worked in. The business is split down to our strengths. We have both picked up transferable skills out side the industry too.

Yes life is very flexible. This summer holidays have been amazing as we have been able to move work around the kids. Where we would be both working full time and having to use annual leave.

But we did have to sort finances and cut down outgoings before we took the plunge. We both took fairly drastic pay cuts before this. We cleared all debts and cut back on luxuries like Sky TV. We kept the internet as we needed it for work and oldest childs school work. It's not been easy but I enjoy life a lot more now. In fact, I am just having a coffee before going to the gym. Something I never had time before.

You could do freelance work if you had skills that other people are willing to pay for, e.g. graphic design, programming, website design, etc. but even then you would have to work hard to build up a portfolio, a clientele, and so on.

yanbu but it will be tricky. I think you need a list of all the jobs that can be done from home and go from there. no doubt lots of these are unsuitable but food for thought:

copy editing
writing - books, articles etc
tutoring
Web based stuff - tech support, Web design etc
phone sex lines (if they still exist and aren't out sourced/computerised

then there are flexible jobs not necessarily at home
dog walking/pet sitting
childcare - after/before school care etc

I'm sure others must be able to help add to this list.

other thought as you say you are good at your job they won't want to loose you, could you ask for part time or flexible hours or similar?

Can you not talk to your Manager, and say that you need to achieve a better work/life balance - with perhaps some suggestions of how your employer could help?

Some working from home jobs I can think of that may work if you put the effort in, find decent clients and have a generous helping of luck:

translation, copywriting, blogging, proofreading, editing, graphic design, website creation, various other IT-type services

You're not guaranteed big bucks (or any bucks at all, being self-employed, and there's plenty of competition), but it is possible to make a very comfortable living. You could then branch out into running your own agency/network of service providers.

Being self-employed is a big deal and doesn't suit everybody. I love it, personally, but I do have the safety net of an employed DH.

I used to work in IT and hated it, went back to uni, got an animal science degree and now work for a veterinary pharmaceutical company. I love my job but it is also hard work and takes me away from home more than I would like, however I am now in a management role and that calls for it. There are regional staff who do not travel as extensively as I do. I don't know what sort of money you are needing as an income?

It maybe worth you looking at this sector to see if your existing skills can be transferred to this sector (without having to go back to uni as I did). The industry often recruits those with vet nursing qualifications and from human health sectors. You don't say what other skills you may have (sales, marketing, operations, customer management etc). Look at recruitment agencies Zenopa, Rig Animal Health, De Lacy, Agri RS, Noble Futures. There are others but these are the ones I tend to recruit through. You may need to do something prior to applying to demonstrate your desire to move to the industry. There are two qualifications that are of note - AMTRA SQP and the National Office of Animal Health's National Certificate in Animal Health. Funding yourself through either one would demonstrate to a potential employer that you are serious about the transition.

I would also recommend a meeting with your manager and your HR dept if you have one to consider strategies to help you manage your workload as it seems you are taking on/being demanded to do too much. Use as this a means to help reduce your current workload to a manageable level to give you the time and thinking space to strategise your way out and into a better job and work life balance. Also agree that you should talk to your family to see if there is anything they can do to help you.

Best of luck!

I feel exactly the same way. I have a DS though and have been a single mum for 4 years. I've had to do what I do as I'm on a big salary and can provide everything we need including a nice house. Holidays etc

This weekend I'm moving in with my dp and I hope that in 12 months or so I can take a career change and a salary cut to mean I'm around more for DS

The only problem is I'm now used to a certain salary and its hard to let that go.

Busyworkingmum thank you so much- that is invaluable advice and I wouldn't have been able to find that out off someone outside your sector.

Flaminsnowball I hope the move goes well.

Thank you everyone for brilliant suggestions. I've got some research to do now...

Have you looked into whether your relatives are getting all they are entitled to so they can contribute to the 'pot'?