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AIBU?

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Original poster

To Feel Sad for DS

64 replies

LavenderRain · 27/08/2015 07:40

DS is 17 and has typical male pattern baldness. Hair is receding at the temples and thinning on the crown. The hair also seems very brittle.
He is so self conscious about it. Mates bastards dont help by constantly pointing it out to him. He laughs it off but I know hes gutted.
It just breaks my heart to see him so down. Hes a handsome, talented boy but this is just breaking him.
I was reading up on propecia tablets and am persuading him to go to GP.
he just wants a hair transplant!!
WWYD?

OP posts:
FithColumnist · 27/08/2015 13:24

Poor sod. I started losing my hair a few years ago (late 20s), and it really upset me because I'm astonishingly vain I can only imagine how dreadful it must be for a teenager.

YellowTulips · 27/08/2015 13:29

What about hair systems?

There are some videos about it on YouTube.

They are undetectable and look great.

bikeandrun · 27/08/2015 13:31

If the poor lad gets teased about being bald,imagine what would happen if someone found out he had a wig/toupee/ hair weave, is that what a hair system is?

bonzo77 · 27/08/2015 13:59

DH was in the same place at that age. Initially he buzz cut what was left to a number 1 or 2. His view was it was better than what he had before (ginger frizz). He now wet shaves it 2x a week. And has a proper old fashioned beard (not designer stubble, not a massive hipster one, neck shaved 2x a week). He's very handsome.

Also of note is that he is a pharmacist and often advices on this. Regaine works while used regularly (though the effect will be lost rapidly in cessation of use and often cannot be replicated, and is expensive.

I think like a lot of teen body issues, they are intensified by a need to conform and by media imagery. It takes huge confidence to ignore those influences. It's up there with weight and breast size for girls. And many of us do eventually come to terms with our bodies.

Original poster
LavenderRain · 27/08/2015 14:07

Thanks bonzo and other pp for your kind words

OP posts:
LongTimeLurking · 27/08/2015 14:22

There is not much that can be done about it really, if he is losing his hair already at 17 then he must have quite aggressive male pattern baldness.

Propecia is only a short term fix that will slow hair loss but not cure it. Just google "propecia side effects" to see why he should NOT take it. Hormone imbalance, cancers, sexual problems and even impotence!

Hair transplants are also not a permanent cure and can leave horrific scarring which will be visible when he eventually loses all his hair.

Honestly some counselling would be a better investment.

jay55 · 27/08/2015 14:24

Work on some comebacks for his so called mates.

Moopsboopsmum · 27/08/2015 14:24

When I was 18, my boyfriend was 20 and had been bald for a while. He always wore a cap or a beanie but also had his hair cropped v short like a no.1. He was the sexiest man I have ever met and is still the best shag, by far, of my life. There was nothing better than running my fingers across his bald head. OMG gives me the vapours thinking about it all these years later. I have always and will always love a bald man. I know it is about your DS but I can reassure you that if you are worried about women fancying him, they still will. Hope this helps. Blush wish I knew where he was now

SaucyJack · 27/08/2015 14:26

Poor kid. It must be hard at his age.

Would he definitely not go for a number 1? (I know I'm an old gimmer and he probably won't care what I think) but most women really aren't fussed about thinning hair if it's close cut- in fact plenty quite like the Jason Statham look.

I think trying to fight it and hanging on to what's left often looks more noticeable, and ages a man quicker.

*Obviously beauty is on the inside and he should be working on his achievements instead of fussing about looking attractive to women yadda yadda yadda.

villainousbroodmare · 27/08/2015 14:38

Skin the head, it's the only way. And just guts it out. Have a few smart ripostes ready. "
You won't change the mates' slagging - lads are rarely sensitive in their banter and it doesn't mean they aren't friends... though bullying is a whole other story.

HazelBite · 27/08/2015 14:47

Poor lad, I have 4 sons who have also suffered Ds1 matches his no 2 cut with designer stubble, Ds2 is just distraught Ds3's hair keeps getting shorter and shorter, Ds4 has a shaved head with a huge beard!
Ds1 took Regaine for a long time, but as soon as he stopped it really stopped working.
Encourage him to develop his own sense of individual style his own look with time he will gain confidence and be more accepting of it.

Original poster
LavenderRain · 27/08/2015 14:51

hazel did the Regaine actually do anything whilst your DS was using it?

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 27/08/2015 16:29

Regaine does have good evidence behind it, but, as others have said, only works as long as he uses it and all gained hairs will fall out again when he stops.

I feel bad about my 'hard man' remark now, seeing that that is NOT the kind of look he's after Blush. Sorry. Just because I like that kind of look does not mean he has to. Jasom Statham, yum

It is just hideous to be that age, I do remember it well.
I hated my wavey/frizzy/curly hair with a fashion, wanted a straight, glossy mane; now I am very please that my hair has some body and I can do lots of things with it. But I am about 30 years away from when I last was a teenager.
I hope he finds a way to love what he's got and stops focussing on what he has not got quicker than I did Thanks

twinkletoedelephant · 27/08/2015 16:36

I have twin boys one has my hair lots of very thick wavey fast growing curls... The other has his dads.... Thin high hairline dh was very thin on top when I met him at 19 has had shaved hair ever since.

Hi friends banta about his hair although now they all leverling out :-) be confident. I noticed dh eyes and confidence before I even looked at his hair :-)

IssyStark · 27/08/2015 16:43

Lavender obv. I can't speak for the male formulation but I found regaine worked while I used it. I started to thin on top in my early 20s and it was noticeable enough by my late 20s that my GP was happy to send me for various tests, including thyroid, PCOS etc. It took a few months for the Regaine to kick in but it was noticeable. I haven't used it in over a decade as I've been pregnant/breastfeeding but I probably will try it again once I've stopped bf-ing.

Original poster
LavenderRain · 27/08/2015 16:44

pacific I didn't take offence atall at your hard man remark, I like that look too Grin
DS is very tall and sporty, gets told he looks like Stuart Broad the England cricketer, so he has lots of redeeming features but you know, as you said, being a teenager can be pants!
I used to get called 'cyclops' at secondary school because my eye slightly turned in. I've never had a OP, it's not needed. DH and many others never noticed it but it's clearer in photos for some reason.
I don't care now but at school I was so conscious of it and was so glad when I needed glasses as I could hide behind them!

OP posts:
PacificDogwood · 27/08/2015 16:49

Oh good Smile

I remember being in tears and near hysterical, refusing school because I had a cold sore; now I barely bother treating them.

Nope, don't want to be a teenager again.

Sounds like he has a lot to be proud of; he just has to realise that for himself. Easier said for me, than done for him, I know.

Original poster
LavenderRain · 27/08/2015 16:53

Oh don't start on cold sores! He gets them too! The size of a 10p Confused

But, I can recommend Lysine ointment and tablets from Holland and Barrat, I have shares they seem to keep them at bay,

OP posts:
StackladysMorphicResonator · 27/08/2015 17:19

Definitely try Regaine - a friend of mine uses it, all his brothers (4 of them) were bald by 35 but he's still got a lovely full head of hair. It even grew back where he'd started balding! It's a bit expensive but worth it.

writingsonthewall · 27/08/2015 17:55

The same thing happened to my h and it really bothered him at that age. I didn't know him then but he said he was massively self conscious about it for years. Now he's nudging 40 and pretty bald but gorgeous obviously. He's comfortable in his own skin and many of his friends are receding badly which of course he doesn't have to deal with.

No useful advice really and I'm sorry he's sad, not really sure if there's anything that can be done but worth exploring.

If not then just try and take some comfort that he won't feel like this forever. Most people have parts of their body they're self conscious about after all.

patienceisvirtuous · 27/08/2015 18:07

Shaving his hair and growing his beard are the way forward. Girls will still fancy him irrespective of his hair. His mates can piss off!

ConfusedInBath · 27/08/2015 19:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LavenderRain · 27/08/2015 21:41

Thanks for all the encouragement folks, DS is currently researching Regaine on the laptop Hmm
I can't see this concluding any time soon.

OP posts:
cestlavielife · 27/08/2015 22:06

Gp for referral to some cbt type counselling or get him to some life coach type person. He may find a treatment or may not but he needs someone to work on self esteem with him. Or send him to volunteer with teens with disabilities or other issues... he will need to find a way to love himself with or without hair...

cleotaurus17 · 27/08/2015 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.