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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To play loud music when my neighbour is having sex?

25 replies

Sparebutton · 27/08/2015 00:02

My perfectly nice neighbour has a new girlfriend. It seems serious and she's over a couple of times a week when his kids aren't there. The problem is the bed bangs against the wall when they're enjoying - ahem - special time together. The sound reverberates right down the chimney into all three floors of the house. I hear it. My husband hears it. My teenage kids hear it.

The first couple of times, we were slightly surprised and amused. My husband cracked us all up by asking if we could hear a washing machine on spin cycle. But now we're finding it difficult and a bit wearing. We all feel uncomfortable hearing it, especially at nightime when the house is quiet.Blush

If we were being bothered by music, the TV, or a barking dog, I would go round and say something, but because of the delicate nature of the source of the noise I have resorted to playing the radio loudly when the banging starts, as much to let them know we can hear them as to drown out the noise. I don't know what else to do. It's only a couple of times a week but it's starting to be a bit stressful. We really don't want to hear them.

OP posts:
Squishyeyeballs · 27/08/2015 00:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsTedCrilly · 27/08/2015 00:12

I feel for you, that would be very irritating after a while! I think being direct is the best way, it would embarass them into moving the bed or pulling it away from the wall.. They probably don't have a clue that anyone can hear it. I'm sure he'll take it well! Only other options are note through the door- but he'll know it was you.. or banging on wall! Direct but faceless Grin

OddSocksHighHeels · 27/08/2015 00:14

Is it just the sound of the bed banging or other noises too?

If it's just the bed then I'm guessing they don't realise you can hear it so maybe a quiet word with the neighbour could help, embarrassing as that may be for both parties. That way they could just move the bed slightly away from the wall or reposition the bed if necessary.

Sparebutton · 27/08/2015 00:27

We can hear the odd moan, oddsocks, but nothing too theatrical. It's the bed that's the problem because my daughter can hear it in her bedroom one floor below, and we can even hear it downstairs on the ground floor.

I think you're right. We're going to have to be grown up about it and say something. Do you think I should go round or put a note through the door (signed)?

OP posts:
pigsDOfly · 27/08/2015 00:29

I think how you deal with this rather depends on your relationship with him.

If you feel comfortable knocking on his door and light-heartedly saying something along with lines of 'you're happy to know his new relationship is working out well but can he move the bed further away from the wall' then I'd go for it.

If however, you don't have that sort of neighbourly relationship I'd stick a nice tactful note through the door. Sure, he'll know it's come from you but I can't see that as a problem tbh. If he's a reasonable sort of man he'll probably be glad to make sure you're not all having to share his enjoyment.

Quite like the idea of sticking on a recording of a crowd clapping and cheering though.

Sparebutton · 27/08/2015 00:30

Yes, eyeballs! I was tempted to shout 'Well done! Bravo' when it stopped.

OP posts:
Fatmomma99 · 27/08/2015 00:34

What Pigs said. But I'd include a p.s which says your Dc are aware. (and run to hide your blushes!)

I hope their relationship goes well but quietly!

FWIW we hear our NDN having sex but they don't do it esp often!

julesldn · 27/08/2015 00:37

We hear our upstairs neighbours spanking eachother at 8am on a sat morning (as well as other times). Got so angry I banged on the ceiling with a broom and then felt terrible and put a note through the door explaining that I didn't mean to be rude but we can hear it all.

They carried on so we spent two nights dismantling two beds to swap bedrooms and can still hear them going at it. It's gross. Hope your chat is more successful than my note!!!! ????????

P.S. Definitely going to use the clapping recording idea next time...!!

OddSocksHighHeels · 27/08/2015 00:37

It's up to you really. If you're happy to do it face to face then do that but if not then a note is fine.

I actually had a note from an ex-neighbour about sex noises (paper thin walls) and was mortified but I did my best to keep the noise down after that! Although he did write about my sex parties Confused in the note. Don't use that phrase. That was weird. And inaccurate for the record Grin

suitsyousir79 · 27/08/2015 00:43

I have been that male neighbour and didn't realise at allBlush (not a stealth boast at all I promise! ) . The female neighbour who lived in the flat below me, and who I was only only saying hello terms with, collared me one day and politely and gently let me know that she could hear. I thought it was quite brave of her, because I would never have said anything, and was quite impressed at how she handled it. I was much more aware and considerate after that. If he is a reasonable human being, he should act the same!

Allalonenow · 27/08/2015 00:47

Ravel's Bolero is the standard piece to play in this situation.

Sparebutton · 27/08/2015 00:49

'Don't use that phrase'.

Laughing out loud at that excellent advice oddsocks!

OP posts:
bloodyteenagers · 27/08/2015 00:51

Change your wifi name.

wehearyourshag
Moveyourheadboard
Itstuesdaythehouseisrocking
Oi57moveurheadboard

Sparebutton · 27/08/2015 00:52

Yes, suitsyou. Sounds like I should do what your neighbour did. I need to be brave, don't I?

OP posts:
suitsyousir79 · 27/08/2015 00:54

Or get your DH to do it! Wink

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 27/08/2015 00:58

I was going to suggest changing the name on your router as well...!

Do it!

JohnJ80 · 10/09/2015 20:15

This reminds me of the most mortifying moment of my life. A housemate at Uni took me to one side and told me that my sex noises were disturbing everyone's sleep. She then proceded to give me an impression of said noises.

Blush
dodobookends · 10/09/2015 20:51

I once had to suggest to my neighbour that she needed to buy a padded headboard Grin

ShizeItsWeegie · 10/09/2015 21:04

Go to a charity shop and get some of Des O'Connors finest and play them whenever you hear the first signs. Loud though, really loud. That may have a 'calming' effect on him Grin

Rainbunny · 10/09/2015 22:08

One our neighbours has named their wifi network connection "We can hear you having sex!" I have no idea who the noisy sex culprits are, sadly I doubt it's myself and dh...

TheCatsMother99 · 10/09/2015 22:14

Play Barry white on full blast every time they get down and dirty?

MagzFarquarson · 10/09/2015 22:32

How about playing some kiddies songs?

If they're still in the groove to 'The Wheels On The Bus' - well fair play to em Grin

cocobean2805 · 11/09/2015 00:06

I had a note through my flat door once telling me to stop having such noisy sex and moaning and groaning at 3am as it was disturbing their sleep. I had to write one back saying I must have some exceptionally kinky ghosts as I work nights and am out till 7am most days!

I put this on another thread earlier today but have you thought about shouting "LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!" through the wall, and then possibly putting some organ music or something equally awful on and singing along perhaps? Best of the 80s using the medium of melodic panpipes etc?

Fluffyears · 11/09/2015 00:24

Bang on the wall it's what I did lol.

Gruntfuttock · 11/09/2015 01:06

Might you disturb other neighbours by playing loud music? If so, I think that would be very unreasonable.

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