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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is this a problem or am I just in a bad mood?

8 replies

Jdee41 · 26/08/2015 10:28

I have a close friend who used to be a work colleague, but recently I left the company we worked at together for another job.

I have really been trying to ensure that we don't lose touch, but lately I feel it's a bit one-sided. We went to an expensive lunch for her birthday and then to the same pricey place for a catch up, which I paid for. I've also had her out to my new office for lunch dates (again, with me providing the food).

The other day we had a lunch catch-up agreed, and she just never turned up. Didn't email or text me, so the food I'd bought in just had to go in the staff room. I found out days later that she had been held up, but said she couldn't be fussed to text.

I've never had an invite to hers for coffee or an invite to buy me lunch.

Am I being a right mug or just in a bad mood?

OP posts:
StillStayingClassySanDiego · 26/08/2015 10:36

Well I wouldn't call you are a mug but she's being a crap friend.

Wait , don't make first contact and see if she bothers to chase you up, if she doesn't you have your answer.

FarFromAnyRoad · 26/08/2015 10:41

This 'friendship' needs to be read the last rites and then you must move on. You've tried, she's obviously not that interested - that's it. It'll be sad for you but you can't be running around after someone for absolutely no return.

PuntasticUsername · 26/08/2015 10:43

Didn't turn up and "couldn't be fussed" to let you know she was delayed?

Tbh it sounds as if she's either trying to drop you or she's got something so totally horrendous going on in her own life that it is leading her to behave very rudely. You will know better than us which of those situations is more likely but in the absence of any other information, I wouldn't bother pursuing the friendship any further.

pinkje · 26/08/2015 10:45

Sounds like she doesn't feel the same about you - time to move on.

Are you friends on FB?

Jdee41 · 26/08/2015 10:48

She's single and has no DCs. I have 3, one of whom has just started school and have not long started a new job with tons of responsibility, so I'm being selfish and felt like I could have done with a chat.

OP posts:
Jdee41 · 26/08/2015 11:04

Are you friends on FB?

I'm not even on Facebook... :/

OP posts:
ThreeFrazzledFandangos · 26/08/2015 11:17

Why are you providing the food/paying?

Surely everyone pays for themselves?

Just don't bother arranging anything else. I think you'll find the friendship soon fizzles. Which is shit, but at least you won't feel used.

Jdee41 · 26/08/2015 14:54

Why are you providing the food/paying?

Good question - I suppose cos I'm doing the inviting as well.

Oh well, it feels like a bit of a loss, but these things happen.

OP posts:
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