Corporate speak: plumbing new depths?

[yolofish]

OK, I know its a topic covered before, but today I got a brief on something for which I am being asked to "dive deep". (snort emoticon). I think they mean examine the topic in depth??

And an oldie from my previous career, but I still believe it's a classic: when our industry rag discovered we had had to make some redundancies in the light of client losses, our chief exec described the situation as "remaking the needs".

Any more new ones or classic golden oldies (eg not blue sky thinking, going forward, pushing the envelope etc etc etc)

I had one boss whose favourite word was 'synergy'. His contributions did not lead to synergy in the organisation and they gave him the push.

In my office right now it's 'backfill' as in we need someone to backfill a post

From the bottom up and from the top down

YY to the working in silos and managing expectations and boiling the ocean

The other day someone "hit the 'i believe' button"

Anyone else use a "360 degree feedback" reporting system?

I work with the military now and it's a bloody breath of fresh air. They certainly know how to call a spade a spade.

I have this pinned up at my desk

Cascading information
Being over a situation
And covering off items on the itinerary.
All guaranteed to make me grit my teeth with rage!

I went to my first management meeting today and used 'small fish in a big pond' then giggled to myself internally.
Everyone knows they're talking bs, right?

Oh and we have to do FAPs and put them in the FAP registry - just us?

omigod wowfudge has explained what granularity means! I had NO idea... I did indeed 'dive deep' into my topic today and even used the word cascade in the resulting article (to my eternal shame).

Understand the why.

Aaaaàrgh

I was asked if I could 'verbal download' some meeting notes to my colleagues

IT colleague keeps talking about 'sunsetting' things. My ears are bleeding - we've already had same page, interface (which I think meant person in the context of the discussion) and something else so awful my memory has wiped it.

Dh has been to some 'stand ups' recently. These are meetings where you literally stand up. For TWO HOURS on one occasion recently. Bonkers!

Also, someone recently asked "what needs to be true to make this happen?" Urgh!