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AIBU?

to feel sick to my stomach!? Re SIL & Benefit fraud.

68 replies

YourFredIsBoring · 25/08/2015 21:59

I will try to keep this as short as possible without drip feeding.

SIL and I are incredibly close, always have been. We are the same age and have known each other since we were 15. We are now 25.

SIL has two children and is married. to a twunt but that's a whole other thread

She told me tonight that she is claiming housing benefit, child tax credits & income support. She also claims for PIP for depression and runs her own (which hasn't been declared to anyone) business from home earning 250-350 pounds pcm.

However, her DH works and lives with her. She has told everyone above that her DH has been moved out for the past year. This is how long she has been claiming all of these extra benefits for.

I told her tonight that she is bang out of order and a criminal. She laughed and said that she couldn't cope without the extra money. Her DHs earnings aren't too bad - around 23,000 per year.

I am sickened. She is one of the reasons our country is going to pot! I am so disappointed in her but know that there's nothing I can do about it without losing my DHs side of the family. I am absolutely gutted.

OP posts:

Report

YourFredIsBoring · 25/08/2015 22:42

Flogging - you can claim PIP if your depression is bad enough, yes.

OP posts:

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 25/08/2015 22:47

And the over reaction of the week award goes to......... Fred. Absolutely gutted over someone committing benefit fraud. What are you worrying for.
Just turn a blind eye. No good will come of telling tales especially so about a family member, as others have said, she will be found out sooner or later.
If you do call the benefit fraud line. I guarantee it won't be anonymous. It won't take her long to put 2 and 2 together and establish that it was you. One minute you're arguing with her telling her how wrong it is. Next minute she receives a letter summoning her up to the benefits office. Can you deal with the fall out because there will be one. Not just between you and her but the whole family. In some cases of benefit fraud people are sent to jail. It's actually quite common now? Do you want that on your conscience her children seeing their mother to jail. I awaits the response from people but she should have thought of that but it isn't the fault of the child.

Babyroobs · 25/08/2015 22:47

I reckon the sooner she gets caught the better. The longer it goes on for the worse the consequences would be. Could you talk to her again and try to prsuade her to come clean - she needn't admit the money she has already stolen but just say he has moved back in and that she wants to make a joint claim?

Babyroobs · 25/08/2015 22:48

Sorry - I meant to say the sooner she comes clean.

fakenamefornow · 25/08/2015 22:50

I forgot to put down my youngest child's bank account

Can they expect you to take money off your children to live on? I don't claim any benefits, not even cb but my children have quite a lot of money in savings accounts. If we hit hard times and had to claim benefits would we have to take our children's money first?

YourFredIsBoring · 25/08/2015 22:58

Iliveinalighthouse
And the award this week for ignorance goes to you!

I have just said I couldn't report her. I will end up turning a blind eye because I could never be responsible for the fallout.

I am gutted. Absolutely gutted!
She's committing a crime. She could be in serious trouble for doing this. Would you suggest that I am happy for her?

Honestly.

OP posts:

PaulAnkaTheDog · 25/08/2015 23:00

iliveinalighthouse You're ridiculous. And your bizarre attitude to benefit fraud is what's screwing a lot of people who actually claim them genuinely.

TheRealAmyLee · 25/08/2015 23:00

The only way out for her is to declare now that her DH moved back in.

The fact the benefits people have already been to check her house means she is on the radar. There are so many checks they can do.

If caught she has falsely claimed ctc, income support etc. If her DHs car insurance is registered at another address it will be invalid.

She will face a huge fine and jail. Also she will be named and shamed. She will also loose all the benefits she is legitimately claiming.

You need to talk to her with your DH and make her fully aware of the consequences before she looses everything.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 25/08/2015 23:03

Your You can't turn a blind site. The longer this goes on, the worse the consequences for her. She will get caught. Make her declare the changes by threatening to report her. Harsh love. She will get caught, I can't repeat that aenough.

Becca19962014 · 25/08/2015 23:07

If they've already come to check if he is living with her then somewhere a red flag has gone up on a system as possible fraud happening. It sounds like the wheels are already in motion.

That can be caused by anything, like others said about bills or even things like facebook (hmrc etc can access locked facebook accounts if someone is suspected of fraud - it's amazing the stupid things people put on facebook - I met someone who bragged about tax fraud on there and thought it was safe as only their best mates were on there and didn't realise that hmrc (and other government agencies) can access locked accounts if fraud is suspected.

queenofthishouse · 25/08/2015 23:08

Get her to stop as she will get found out and her name will be in the local paper.

YourFredIsBoring · 25/08/2015 23:09

PaulAnka - Threatening to report her will undoubtedly go one of two ways. She will either call me bluff as she knows that I wouldn't.
Or
She would never speak to me again for threatening to report her. Resulting in us all falling out.

She is such a shit for putting me in the situation! I have told her tonight that she needs to go and tell them that her DH has moved back in and then all will be fine. She refuses. She doesn't care.

OP posts:

PausingFlatly · 25/08/2015 23:11

You have to have pretty serious depression to be eligible for PIP. Ie, not merely unable to work, but for significant periods unable to leave the house without another person to keep you safe or unable to manage basic self-care like feeding, washing regularly or getting dressed without prompting from another person.

And yes, people can be that incapacitated by mental illness. "Depression" doesn't mean just low mood.

It's possible SIL has a mental illness where she has frequent, sporadic, but severe episodes, eg bipolar.

But given what you say about the rest of her claims, it's just as likely she's lying about this too.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 25/08/2015 23:12

Fred and Paul.
This is a public forum. I am entitled to my opinions as you are to yours. And nor will I change my views. Like wise I do not expect you to change your views either.
And no Fred you don't have to be happy for her, how about you try and feel nothing and worry about yourself, but then like I said we're all allowed our to opinion.
You did say in your strike out that she is married to a twunt.. But that is for another thread,vmeaning it is not relevant to this thread but IMO. It is very important.. Is he financially abusive. You don't have to answer on here but perhaps she wouldn't be able to live without the extra income.

PaulAnkaTheDog · 25/08/2015 23:14

She is going to get caught. What you need to decide is whether you force her hand (give her a time limit to shop herself) and reduce the penalty, or allow her to dig a bigger hole. These people always get caught. Always. It may take a bit longer than they think but it will catch up to them.

00100001 · 25/08/2015 23:15

fakename some people hide their money in kids account s to get higher interest, novtax, and to hide it from the benefits office!!

PaulAnkaTheDog · 25/08/2015 23:16

Of course you are entitled to your opinion. Unfortunately it's a stupendously ridiculous one.

wowfudge · 25/08/2015 23:21

If this woman gets caught and ends up in prison then she has no one but herself to blame. It is immaterial whether she has been reported and investigated or simply gets caught at some stage. It is she who will have brought this on her family.

Inkymess · 25/08/2015 23:27

Just report her

YourFredIsBoring · 25/08/2015 23:34

Iliveinalighthouse - Of course you're entitled to your opinion but please base that opinion on all of the facts first. You tried to take a blow at me over something I had stated in a previous comment.
Remember to RTT first, then comment. Your "opinion" isn't going to go down well otherwise.

OP posts:

Duck90 · 25/08/2015 23:47

To be fair iliveinalighthouse comment may have crossed posted with your clarification of understanding how allocation of PIP works.

RonaldMcDonald · 25/08/2015 23:52

If it was me I'd discard the info or try to put it in a different perspective

It is up to her what she does. She has some idea of the consequences...depending on her mental health and how it effects her decision making
I'd be questioning why this woman I'd known for ages had suddenly behaved in such an out of character manner. I think I'd be worried about her

I find it hard to get particulary worried by other people and their rule breaking as I think we all do it to some extent and then rationalise what we do
It might not be benefit fraud...it might be taxes or expenses or going home early from work or titting about on the internet instead of working or paying people cash in hand...but we all have our stuff

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Babyroobs · 25/08/2015 23:56

If it were my sil I would certainly be worried about the fact that she was fraudulently claiming hundreds of pounds a month in benefits that she wasn't entitled to. I don't think I could just ignore it because as pp's have pointed out the longer it goes on the worse the fallout is going to be. I would try to pursuade her to say that her partner has moved back in asap.

ReginaBlitz · 26/08/2015 02:03

So you want to be responsible for her possibly going to prison or your niece/nephews being embaressed when their mum is in the paper? It's not affecting you in anyway so keep out of it. It is bad as he's working but they are married so won't take them long to catch up. No one likes a grass

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 26/08/2015 02:16

The problem is that the longer it goes on the more likely it is to make the papers and her end up with a sentence. That's the way it goes - the worse the fraud is the worse the consequences. Early stopping is far better than it building up, which is where the real danger of anything happening comes.

If she's had a house check then something already flagged up. If this is accepted by them, after her con, then I don't know how soon they would reinvestigate? Also, the fact that she's so schemingly moved his things out for the check to continue to claim wouldn't look so good!

Urge her to sort it.

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