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Before I lose my mind.

22 replies

athena2006 · 25/08/2015 21:19

Before I lose my mind I'd just like to see how other parents would feel in this scenario. My ex husband takes our 8yr daughter on holiday abroad. It turns out he took her on a work trip to a city in Eastern Europe where he went to meetings and she was looked after by strangers during the day. The flew there and back. He sat in business class and she was alone in economy surrounded by strangers. This happened both on the outbound and inbound flights. Apparently the man sat next to her offered to swap seats with her father so they could sit together but her father declined the offer.

OP posts:

DextersMistress · 25/08/2015 21:22

I'd be going apeshit.


JeffsanArsehole · 25/08/2015 21:23

Negligent shit head is what I think. Who leaves an 8 year old next to strangers on a flight unsupervised?

I'd need to know more about childcare abroad before I commented but I can't see that being great.

I'm all for people making different parenting choices but leaving your kid for 5 hours next to strangers is probably crap in most people's books.

I would stop contact and let him go through the courts. Then I would explain why and ask for guarantees. I can't see them not being judge ordered. But I could be very wrong so get some proper advice.


BeautyQueenFromMars · 25/08/2015 21:23

I would go absolutely ballistic. I'm actually angry on your behalf.


LumelaMme · 25/08/2015 21:25

I'm a pretty laid back parent but I'd go completely nuts.

He would not be a happy camper after I'd finished with him.


WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 25/08/2015 21:25

I'd be asking if she enjoyed her holiday with daddy.

If yes, then try and chill (unlikely...)
If no, then I would try not to let her go again, in those circumstances.
Are granny and granddad on that side any use?

Can they take her for a couple of days and supervise visits with daddy?


hellhasnofurylikeahungrywoman · 25/08/2015 21:26

I would not be happy, he lied to you from the outset. If I was his child I'd be left feeling my father tolerated me rather than loved me.


Branleuse · 25/08/2015 21:27

id be completely losing my shit over that. What the actual fuck??


purplepandas · 25/08/2015 21:27

I would be livid, that is shitty behaviour. I would be asking your DD about the holiday as Why has said above.


TwistyFyas · 25/08/2015 21:27

Pissed off!

Who were the strangers looking after her while he was in meeting? I would be very pissed off with the seating arrangements on the flights, especially when someone offered to swap.


PaulAnkaTheDog · 25/08/2015 21:29




NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 25/08/2015 21:40

Why on earth did he take her? I'd be checking the facts first and if all is what it seems; I'd be going nuclear


ladygoingGaga · 25/08/2015 22:10

I am actually speechless. Jesus. What a knob head.

The worst aspect for me is sitting separately on a 5 hour flight.

Never give this pathetic excuse of a father your DC's passport again.


LuckyLuckyMe · 25/08/2015 22:20

I would feel sick to my stomach if someone did this to DD.


BlueBananas · 25/08/2015 22:22

What the actual fuck?!!
I would monumentally lose. my. shit!


lunar1 · 25/08/2015 22:25

That would be the last time he took her anywhere. The flight is unforgivable.


cheapskatemum · 25/08/2015 22:28

YANBU I agree with the above. The bit that particularly gets my goat is that he travelled business class, but she had to travel economy. Of course he wouldn't swap with the person in the economy seat next to hers. He feels he is entitled to better.


PerpendicularVincent · 25/08/2015 22:29

I'd be absolutely furious. Who on earth does that to their child? The flight situation was cruel. Were the people looking after DD during the day registered childminders?


scarlets · 25/08/2015 22:31

Is he from a culture where this would be acceptable?

Trying in vain to find excuses for him...


PatrickPolarBear · 25/08/2015 23:17

Why on earth did he WANT to have his DD on a trip like that? Was it just 'his' week and he was determined to have her regardless? A free flight courtesy of his employer??

It just makes no sense at all. He's working, she's stuck with strangers she's never met before in a country where she - presumably- knows no-one else, he doesn't even bother to sit with her on the plane... I mean what on earth is the point of it all?


DragonsCanHop · 25/08/2015 23:23

It makes no sense. Did they have free time together in between the meetings etc?


athena2006 · 26/08/2015 18:57

Thanks everyone for your comments. I have to say I was extremely angry especially about the plane seating arrangements. The thought of my little girl being all on her own if there had been a problem with the plane such as an emergency landing or loss of pressure just brings tears to my eyes. Needless to say he will not be getting his hands on her passport again. Your comments have helped me feel justified in feeling the way I do.

OP posts:

TSSDNCOP · 26/08/2015 19:09

How is DD?

If he'd swapped seats and the people that looked after her were proper childminders I could possibly, possibly stay calm if DD were ok.

However amongst the very big issues are:

  1. He didn't tell you what the actual plans were. Understood it's his time with his child but clearly he sought to misinform.

2. The flight. People in Eco cannot go into Business. So even if DD was ok with an iPad for company, if she'd needed him she wouldn't have been able to get to him.

3. The childminders. Were they registered, did he get references. I had a childminder look after DS for a week and she interviewed me and I filled in more forms than if I'd applied for space flight.

Terrible judgement on his part. Question is, can you stop him doing it again.
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