AIBU or have i have, to want H to stop drugs?

[tweets79]

I have asked my H to cut his weed smoking right down with a view to quitting as to me it interferes with our lives far too much.

He has taken it badly as it is something he enjoys and doesn't want to quit, but now I feel im the bad one! It caused problems in our marriage as it makes him moody, sulky etc and paranoid! I also know he lies about going to buy it, as yesterday he said he was going to the shop, when I checked at night there was another supply of drugs, but inside me now its like nothing hurts or disappoints me anymore.

So have I been unreasonable?

of course yanbu. Could i suggest that you hope for the best and plan for the worse? At some point he will have to choose between drugs and you. Sorry if thats really blunt.

redexpat Thank you, I believe he would choose weed before me and DC as he claims he needs it.

It has really effected my view of him and it is effecting our relationship but he can not see it and I feel like I have lost the plot with over thinking, if that makes sense.

been there, done that, got a new husband.

It got to the point where any time I tried to talk about any of the other issues we had (because I didn't leave purely because of the drugs) he just smoked himself into oblivion to avoid it.

I never asked him to quit, because pre-children it was something I had done socially too. I never really had a problem (and still don't) with it in the right circumstances and at an agreeable level.

YANBU.

I think if his habit was sociable I could maybe handle it but its not, its from wakening till sleep, he will smoke perhaps 8 joints per day. And as you say anything stressful, he smokes away, im sometimes jealous he has that as I have nothing to help me deal with the stress caused.

He does work p/t and buys it himself from his wages but it is the elephant in the room now, I also don't want our DC to have it normalised.

yep. Joint for breakfast.....and he was working too, full time. He was fully functioning in most ways. It was the emotional blocking I couldn't cope with.

I believe he would choose weed before me and DC as he claims he needs it.

tweets, I'm sorry that this is the case, and shocked that you state it as though it is normal. If he really has so little respect for you and your children then I believe you need to seriously think about a future without him.

Thats a real problem, not an occasional spliff. Think of the mh problems he is storing up for his future. Get your dc away.

Sorry op

You forgot to mention that he is also a shit to your daughter and scares her and she has social anxiety because of him. The advise isnt to going to change from your thread the other day, I know it's bad form to mention other threads an op may have going, but you missed out some very salient details you included in the other one.

The advise will not change, for the sake of your child and her mental health you have to get her out of this environment.

Of course YANBU. He's being an utter tit and needs to grow the fuck up.

Yy pp, also the mental health damage weed can cause, is very underestimated YANBU.

Yes you are right, I didn't mention it as I'm stripping things right back till the point I asked him to quit, this was some time ago and that seems where the problem started.
She is an anxious child and I'm my mind I believe this to be issue which causes her worries but I also believe the atmosphere n the house does this too and this something I am also part of. I'm not trying to hide any details though.

Drugs in the house with dc's is a big no no. Sounds like you're flogging a dead horse, and to the emotional detriment of your dd. Time to call it a day and channel all your energy into the emotional wellbeing of your dd, instead of wasting it on this loser.

Yep, definitely flogging a dead horse yet at the same time so very scared to make the change.