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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to know what the money is for?

10 replies

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 23/08/2015 22:07

Another fundraiser has gone round on Facebook for a poorly little girl with cancer. She is British and receiving care from the NHS. The poster is for a 'fundraiser' for her.

I'll freely admit to being naive but why would the family need funds raising? The poster didn't say other than it was an event to raise money.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 23/08/2015 22:10

Are you being unreasonable to want to know what the money is for? - No

So why not just ask?

00100001 · 23/08/2015 22:10

Just don't give then any money

Original poster

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 23/08/2015 22:11

Because the poster of the poster isn't directly related to the family. It was a share iyswim.

They're not uncommon though so I wondered what the general thing was

OP posts:

Sirzy · 23/08/2015 22:12

The family locally when this happened it was to help the family cover the extra costs of having a child in and out of hospital, provide any extras she may have needed and just generally ease the financial burden.

They had all the fundraising linked with a charity for the specific kind of cancer and when she sadly died any money left was given to that charity who then used it to support others.

Original poster

LunchpackOfNotreDame · 23/08/2015 22:13

Thank you sirzy

OP posts:

BackforGood · 23/08/2015 22:14

YANBU to want to know what the money is to be used for, before donating to any fundraiser - indeed, IMO, you would be very silly not to.

It may be they are fundraising for further research, or for awareness raising.
Or
It may be they want to help the family with expenses (are they having to stay in hospital? / miss work ? / travel to appointments ? / get child care for other dc? )
or
It may be they want to just 'do something nice' for the child or her family... a holiday or a garden makeover or something

Thing is, you need to ask if you only wish to contribute for one or some of these things, so you are contributing in full knowledge of what it is for.

Imnotaslimjim · 23/08/2015 22:21

We had a little one local to me that had neuroblastoma, and there was a lot of fundraising for her

At first, it was to cover costs of travelling to hospital every few days, childcare for the older child and the costs of eating out while travelling

When it looked likely that treatment would fail, they upped the ante so they could afford to take her to Germany (I think) for therapy that isn't offered in England, to give her the best chance of survival

Happily, she was declared cancer free 5 years ago, and 12 months later her family donated the money to a cancer charity

Supermanspants · 23/08/2015 22:31

To help the family with living costs? Parents often have to give up work to take care of a child with cancer. There is no financial provision for parents who are off work. If they get DLA then there may be an element of carers allowance but it is not much. I was signed off with 'stress' so as to try and keep an income as sick pay but that is only paid for so long.

DowntownFunk · 23/08/2015 22:41

It's worth checking. My friend has a severely disabled child. There was a fundraising quiz night and other events in his name for him to go abroad for treatment. My friend had nothing to do with the organisation of these fundraisers, nor did she get the money for him.

steppemum · 23/08/2015 22:43

YANBU to want more details, I am very suspicious of these fundraisers.

But when dd2 had to be in and out of hospital for a while, it cost us a fortune.

I had to drive to Bristol, (1.5 hours) and be there for 7:30 am. So car and petrol costs, plus childcare/school run implications for the 2 kids at home while dh was working.

Also food and drink for me while out (took packed lunch, but needed cups of tea etc)

Also car parking. The hospital did have a system in place, if you could find a place in hospital car park, it only cost £3 per day. If not then it could cost £10 per day.

She was only in as a day patient. I have no idea how we would have done it as an in patient.

Well, in fact we did do it for 10 days when she was in. The kids and dh stayed with my mum who had to do school run etc. I had to buy all meals and drinks from cafe as I stayed in her room with her. Dh had to drive up to see us/bring other dcs so petrol/parking etc.

It is pretty expensive to have a child in hospital. Dd2 was 18 months when she started treatment. I wasn't back at work, and didn't return until she started school, because of her needs at the time. So knock on expense of extended SAHM.

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