To refuse this offer

[kindofferbutno]

More of a "am I being reasonable" than a AIBU.

A couple of couple friends have arranged to go on a really special holiday next year. Don't want to be too specific, but it's somewhere that would be really lovely to go to. They've invited DH and I, but it's way beyond our budget so we have politely declined. Anyway, one of the couples really want us to go and have offered to lend us the money so we can. They asked me a couple of months ago and I said that we couldn't possibly accept. Tbh we struggle month to month now, so paying them back would be difficult.

Anyway, today DH went out with male half of couple and he brought the subject up again. He was apparently really insistent that he wanted to pay for us, he can afford it, we can pay back at £10 a month if necessary (the holiday is nearly £3K!) etc. DH refused again, saying that he never borrows money from friends, job situation is uncertain, teenage DC to worry about etc., but friend is not bothered about any of this, just really wants us to go.

I know I'm being reasonable in saying no but just wanted to know what others think. I'm a bit embarrassed by the whole thing and am worried that he might just book it anyway.

It's tricky isn't it? I have been in your position, and did the same as you OP, for the same reasons, when my partner's friend offered to pay. However, it does seem as if you are really valued and they really do want you there. Are they are very wealthy? If so it seems a shame that money that they wouldn't miss, and want to spend on you is a problem.

£3000 back at £10 a month would take 25 years!
Very strange how insistent they are that they want you to come. Do they not have other friends they could ask.
I have to say my first thought was do they have any pampas grass out the front

I don't know. Money comes and goes, but in your lifetime you may not have that many chances to have a really special holiday like this with your best friends. Being able to look back and reminisce over wonderful shared experiences would mean more to me tbh. I wouldn't be so quick to reject the offer.

Lending or borrowing (apart from a mortgage or to fund other sensible decision) is almost always a bad idea.

It is why I don't have a credit card.

don't take the money. not worth it in the long run.

I think it depends a bit on their situation. Are they really rich and actually don't care if you pay it back, and are just saying £10 a month to make you feel happier?
I have an extremely rich friend. He doesn't give a shit about money as he's got squill ions. He pays for holidays for friends all the time, simply cos it's where he wants to go and he wants his friends with him. No drama.

The quickest way to ruin a friendship is over money. It would be very different if this were a lifesaving operation for your child, but a holiday is not a necessity, and it's just not worth it. They could hold it over you for all the years it would take you to repay it.