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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is a good deal and we should take the money

191 replies

TastingTheRainbow · 23/08/2015 18:04

Been struggling to decide this all day so hoping you can help.

My son has special needs and will be starting at a special needs high school in September that's 35 miles away (40 minutes in no traffic).

He is entitled to travel assistance as this is the closest school that could accommodate him and we have not sent him so far away by choice, plus we are a low income family. We thought this would be via a taxi but have had a letter saying if we transport him ourselves the LA will pay us £6800 a year.

That seems an unbelievable amount of money! My quick sums have calculated that with that money we could buy a car (we would need a second car as I take the only one to work), insure it and keep it on the road, cover the petrol cost required for the journey and still have money left over. Plus we then have the convieneve of two cars full time which we really need just can't afford.

If we say no to the money they will organise a taxi. This will be more inflexible however and will pick up at a set time, only waiting for 2 minutes, and can't be changed if he has after school clubs etc. We would then need to collect anyway.

AIBU to think that while it will may be a PITA to do the school run that far every day the money they are offering makes it the better option?

In the interest of fairness I should say it would be my partner not me doing the school run as I work full time and she dosnt. I have said it is her choice to decide however, she just thinks I may be missing the 'catch' somehow.

OP posts:
BikeRunSki · 23/08/2015 23:48

Would you be taxed on this money?

LadyStark · 23/08/2015 23:49

I think there is a lot of doom and gloom on this thread about older cars, yes there is a risk of it going wrong but there are many examples of old cars running for years with little problem. We had our last car for 7 years, it was a ten year old rover with a relatively low mileage when we got it and it sailed through MOTs. Unfortunately some twat person crashed into it at a roundabout and wrote it off. We were gutted, she'd have kept running for years!

WhatWas · 23/08/2015 23:55

A longish car journey can be relaxing for kids. I used to enjoy the journey home with my kids. It's a good time to chat.

cestlavielife · 23/08/2015 23:59

Depends on the special needs whatwas. Op hadnt said if his ds can talk or not. Or what sen he has. If asd or anxiety or can talk or not. Eg my son has no verbal speech and he gets frustrated in car as can use ipad to communicate but also wants me to look at what he types. I can't do that and drive. So a journey with just me and him gets stressful after 20 minutes or less. Ok to do as needed but not twice a day every day.

cestlavielife · 24/08/2015 00:01

If op s ds is an easy passenger and can chat etc then sure....but given he has sen likelihood is there may be some risk of stress....

Icimoi · 24/08/2015 00:05

I've looked up a few councillors' mileage allowances:

Kent: 45p per mile for the first 10,000 miles, 25p thereafter.
Surrey: 45p per mile
Bristol: same as Kent
Manchester: 46.9-65p per mile, depending on size of engine
Barnsley: 45p per mile
Stoke on Trent: 45p per mile

Surely councillors' cars don't cost more to run that parents' cars?

WhatWas · 24/08/2015 00:11

cestlavielife yes, you are right it does depend on the kid.

Original poster
TastingTheRainbow · 24/08/2015 00:26

Just to clarify DS has ASD. Can communicate and is a relatively easy passenger. Dosnt like change and will certainly stress if taxi arrangements are repeatedly changed.

Why is this such a difficult decision! I'm starting to wish they just hadn't given me the choice.

I am now of the opinion it's easier to just let them taxi him but DP who is the one that's been struggling without a car is willing to do pretty much anything to get one. I just worry she's underestimating how much time and effort this journey will take.

OP posts:
Jux · 24/08/2015 00:32

We bought a car 2 years ago for £700 which was nothing but trouble and has cost a ton to keepon the road - in fact we'd only had it about a month before it needed work done.

Before that, we'd had a car which cost £500 and lasted us nearly 15 years.

You win some, you lose some. If you know a bit about cars or you have a friend who does, then you're more likely to be a winner.

Jux · 24/08/2015 00:35

Take the money, try it for a year and then review it. Your dp will probably be knackered by it, though, but no matter how bad a bout of flu she gets, she'll have to take him, won't she?

Iflyaway · 24/08/2015 00:45

Wow!

I live in Europe - no way would they give you a car... to take someone to school.

shared transport by taxi bus if you need it for SEN. Bike or public transport otherwise...

Just saying.

Original poster
TastingTheRainbow · 24/08/2015 02:29

Iflyaway - The LA do this to save money.

My son cannot travel by public transport (and there isn't much available in our village), has no option but to attend a school 25 miles away, needs 1-1 care 24/7 and so would need an additional escort and would be unable to share a taxi with unfamiliar children due to his needs.

The cost to the council providing him a taxi plus trained escort will be WAY above the amount they have offered me. Trust me based on the LAs previous behaviour, they wouldn't be encouraging me to take this money if it didn't benefit them hugely.

Plus they are not giving me a car, they are offering me a mileage allowance which I am hoping to use to buy a car if it works out to be enough, although as you will have read it probably isn't.

OP posts:
PrimalLass · 24/08/2015 07:19

Could she find a job near the school? Or do something from a local library so she doesn't have to go both ways? That could work well.

Oliversmumsarmy · 24/08/2015 07:47

Could you take the money and then look for a taxi share with the next nearest person. I.e. get dc to the other persons house and then share the taxi fare from there.

I did do a 40 minute each way commute to my ds's school for several years in my 13 year old £900 car bought 8 years ago. If you do go down this route I would get AA/RAC type coverage, the one where they give you a hire car for a couple of days coverage.

I think £6800 sounds great but I think the catch is when you add up the costs it would be, time, petrol, wear and tear on a car it becomes less attractive. I think that if you took the money then you could taxi share by driving to another child's home and share the taxi fare from there it might work out better. Even if the commute to someone else's house is 20 mins it would save your dp 1hr and 20 mins each day.

RandomSocks · 24/08/2015 07:58

This sounds to me to be a good deal for the local authority, as it is much cheaper for them than a taxi.

It may be a good deal for you as a family if your partner doesn't mind doing the driving. It will be nice for your son to have car-time with a parent rather than with a taxi driver. If she can get a job close to the school, or find other things to do close to the school a couple of days a week, this might be a very good option.

In your situation, I would take the money and get the car.

Iamnotloobrushphobic · 24/08/2015 08:07

I have an agreement with the local LA to transport my SN child to school.
He used to go by taxi but his anxiety and high level of needs meant that the taxis couldn't cope and we went through 3 different taxi arrangements in a single year. At least once a week the taxi would either fail to leave school with my child (as they couldn't even get him into the taxi) or they would have to stop half way home and wait for me to come and collect him because his behaviour made the journey dangerous (despite him wearing a SN harness so he couldn't leave his seat).
After much deliberation with the council I agreed 45p per mile to provide the transport myself. It is much cheaper for the council because previously they were paying for the taxi and a 1:1 passenger assistant (it was only my son in that taxi).
The current arrangement is better for me as I no longer wait in anticipation for the weekly or twice weekly phone calls to go and collect my son. It is better for my son as he arrives at school calmer and happier. We have had a few occasions where anxiety has taken over but these are more manageable when I transport him. It is worth the 2-3 hours of my day just for the reduced stress on both mine and my sons part.

However: I decided when I took this new transport role on that I would get a new car because I couldn't afford to be off the road or have expensive repair bills. We now have a motability car (I sold my old car which I had owned outright). I would not have undertaken this with a £1000 vehicle (which I would imagine is already high mileage). Reliability is really important when transporting a SN child to school each day. My journey is far less in terms of miles than the OP but significant in terms of time taken due to traffic conditions.
The council originally wanted to pay me 12p per mile which wouldn't cover the fuel cost in the motability car (especially given local traffic conditions). I had to fight to get 45p per mile (which is what they pay their own council employees).

StUmbrageinSkelt · 24/08/2015 08:11

We've done the driving ourselves and now have a pick up service. The driving could be stressful in rush hour traffic and was a hell of a time commitment.

The pick up service comes with its own charms. We can never be sure of the pick up time, the driver can change and the other clients in the car change (I know you say your guy will be transported alone).

Not going to comment on the money aspect other than to say that seems very low to me but neither option is easier than the other. They both are a PITA.

ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 24/08/2015 08:15

maybe your partner could get a job at/near the school so would be even more worthwhile.

grapejuicerocks · 24/08/2015 08:17

Good point about spreading the insurance costs over the year. It would free up more money for the initial purchase.

Buy that small, cost efficient, as new as you can, car and try it for the year.

Yes, repairs may run into the next years expenses, but chances are, it'll work out fine and you get your second car. I think it's a risk worth taking.

ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 24/08/2015 08:27

would the LA post your partner to pick up another child on her way?

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 24/08/2015 08:27

45p a mile is normal for quite a few things. The insurance used it when I had to go to physio after a crash.

The amount they are paying is to cover the time taken to drive, the car, fuel, running costs, car-seat and anything else he needs.

Maybe an occasional taxi if 'new' car is in the garage

Have you considered one of the new schemes? Something like a corsa or Nissan where you pay £99 a month for the car, services and insurance?
You have to sign up for a specified time (maybe 4 years?)

But then you get a new, economical car with no extra expense apart from fuel.

The extra car will probably be useful if something happens to your main car, giving you more freedom about other activities as well as school clubs.

Does ds have many medical appointments? Will he need to be collected from school to go to the hospital?

Is he the kind of kid who will be happy alone in a taxi?
Will he always be late for the taxi?
Would he be ok if they sent different drivers every day?
What if he leaves his best toy In The car?

My choice would be the car, as my kids love being in my car with me.
They have toys and books.

They can eat and drink without worrying about mess.

25 miles twice a day is nothing! I thnk we did about 800 miles in the last 2 days, visiting people! And probable a similar distance in the few days before.

I would certainly look at getting a job near the school. Even if its helping in a charity shop or making crafts to sell at the school fair.

ivegotdreadfulpmttoday · 24/08/2015 08:27

pay not post.

OneInEight · 24/08/2015 08:32

ds1 supposedly has a 55 minute journey to school but it is not unusual it takes him up to 2 hours because of rush-hour traffic and frequent road works. Before making your decision do a trial run at the time you would need to take him to school to get a more realistic time of journey. I know we felt that 4 hours out of our day was too much - not that our LA was giving us the choice.

An advantage of doing the transport yourself is that it would be that it is less stressful for your son. We like another poster have had issues where ds1 has had a meltdown in the taxi (different taxi driver who managed to stress him out unintentionally but very effectively!) or has decided to walk home when being stuck in traffic and got out the car (luckily he was not on the motorway at this point). We make sure now he has an emergency bag with snacks, drinks, tablet and books to read and give any change of driver a detailed list of things to do / not to do to minimize the risk of a meltdown.

Things to watch out and prepare your ds for in the taxi's are changes of driver and being late (or early!!).

junebirthdaygirl · 24/08/2015 08:32

If your dp could get even a short part time job near the school she could have more money get her shopping and errands done then pick up your ds have a nice chat on the way home and be back before your other child arrives home. I would do it. I know families in my dd school who drove that far everyday because it was the school of choice for them. Lots of families actually. No expenses. No special needs. Did it for more than one child so went on for years. They went home and drove back. I didn't hear them giving out about it. Don't overthink it. Do it. It will help your ds settle in having his mum there. They could listen to his class novel on cd.or chat about a history project. It will be OK.

WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 24/08/2015 08:33

And my car is 16 years old, built like a tank!