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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to give this sofa to the charity shop?

60 replies

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 23/08/2015 17:32

OK, there is a good possibility I am!!!

We have a nice sofa (Ligne Roset) - it's quite old but in good condition and very funky.

Last week, our new kitten weed on it (once!) and DH says it has to go...

I've had it professionally cleaned and (As far as I can tell) there is no damage to the sofa, but DH is adamant that it is ruined and has to go...

So... I want to phone a local charity that collects (and resells) unwanted furniture. Dh wants to hire a skip and bin it.

I think he is BU. He thinks I am?

can MN decide please?

OP posts:

TastingTheRainbow · 23/08/2015 18:11

Your husband is insane! What a waste to get rid of it, does he bin carpets that potty training toddlers have weed on as well? My couch has definitely seen way worse!

If he hates the couch and this is an excuse to get a new one at least let someone else make use of it then just waste it.

HackerFucker22 · 23/08/2015 18:15

Cat cages is a new one on me I have to say. Although I know they are common practice in catteries hence me never, ever putting my cat in a cattery

Your husband is BU but I feel sorry for the poor kitty.

8 weeks is pretty young as well and if you've had it for a week you got it very young!!

DextersMistress · 23/08/2015 18:16

I think short term to help with litter training/for the safety of the kitten is ok.

If you're planning on caging him every night long term to keep him off the furniture I would suggest rehoming tbh.

HackerFucker22 · 23/08/2015 18:16

Sorry I see it's not the OP's kitten that is 8 week. Mon apologies.

Original poster

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 23/08/2015 18:20

The cat is a little girl and we've been advised to keep her in overnight until she is spaded. So, the 'cage' is just until she can come and go - it will go back to the cattery once she's been spaded...

She is a very loving cat (more like a dog! likes to sit and have her tummy rubbed) and doesn't seem to mind the cage at all (never mews to get out... but runs straight up to my DD's room as soon as she is on a morning!)

To be fair, I've only ever had dogs, and caging them is standard practice so it never struck me as odd with a cat! #Imraisingadogcat

Anyone want the bloody sofa!!?!

OP posts:

AlisonWunderland · 23/08/2015 18:20

Keep the sofa and kitten.
Put DH in skip.

Sorted.

WhatWas · 23/08/2015 18:21

I'd be very surprised if that sofa didn't have FR labels. I'd suggest having another look. A charity could sell that for a nice amount.

DextersMistress · 23/08/2015 18:27

Apologies op, I thought she was going to be caged at night permanently.

Back to the sofa, please don't bin it. If it doesn't have the labels then someone will definitely take it.

NorbertDentressangle · 23/08/2015 18:56

ooh I like the sofa - looks comfortably squidgy.

Is the colour graduated or is that just the photo?

I reckon your DP is just looking for any excuse to get rid of the sofa but I don't know why as it's lovely.

NormHonal · 23/08/2015 18:59

I'd have that sofa off you if we had space.

I have stalked Ligne Roset sofas on ebay in the past and you will get good money for it on there!

Original poster

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 23/08/2015 20:05

No, Norbert it's the light - there is a window at the other side, but I wanted to take it from 'that' angle as it's the seat closest to the camera that the cat weed on. There really isn't a stain.

I'll pop it on Freecycle and see if someone wants to collect.

Can't be faffed with Ebay anymore... I used to use it loads, and still do as a buyer, but it's SOOO geared towards the buyer. I'd rather give it away to someone who could actually make use of it rather than try and sell it.

OP posts:

DextersMistress · 23/08/2015 20:08

iam is there maybe a nursing home/homeless shelter near you? It could really go to good use somewhere

Fairylea · 23/08/2015 20:09

Womens aid sometimes take lists of available furniture for women and children setting up new homes (or they did a few years ago anyway!) Might be worth ringing them and asking. A very worthy cause. :)

NorbertDentressangle · 23/08/2015 20:11

Where are you (roughly) as someone on here ( me )might buy it off you or recommend a project or charity?

Original poster

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 23/08/2015 20:20

I'll try those.

We're in Herts. (west... almost beds / bucks)

OP posts:

Cloppysow · 23/08/2015 21:22

Don't put it on freecycle, they'll take it and sell it.

I donated my sofas to a local charity that did independent living for adults with learning disabilities. A man was moving into his first flat and had nothing. I was delighted it was going to someone who was in need rather than someone who wanted to make a profit.

Try Herts Council of voluntary services. You should get some advice from them, even without the fire retardent labels, some charities might have someone who needs them.

NorbertDentressangle · 23/08/2015 21:36

Herts is too far from me unfortunately.

I don't know what charities are in that area but agree that freecyclers will ebay it if they have any inkling of it's worth.

lifesalongsong · 23/08/2015 21:43

Your husband is totally bonkers, what a complete waste. Do you have children, if so did he throw things away if they had an accident?

As a dog owner I wouldn't have thought it odd to have a cat in a cage overnight either. Won't it just be sleeping?

AliceTerrapin · 23/08/2015 22:01

When the cat is allowed out she will probably bring you lots of dismembered creatures, he will freak out at those, they are far grosser than wee. I don't think that the man nan the cat are in any way compatible and he sounds a bit unhinged. Rehome the cat for its own sake. As for the sofa, if you love it, do you have to do what he says or can you not discuss it reasonably? If you have to follow his demands without question, I would seriously look at rehousing yourself as well. He sounds like a total knob I'm afraid. Men like him scare the crap out of me.

Fluffycloudland77 · 23/08/2015 22:29

I lock mine in the utility room overnight but it's bigger than a cage. She's only a baby animal and the best of them have accidents.

Original poster

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 24/08/2015 08:56

Thanks for all the advice guys.

It's quite low and squidgy so not sure it would suit an old folks home, but a first flat for someone who has learning disabilities sounds fab... My son is autistic, so I dunno, I like the idea of helping a young adult get some independence :-)

Once the cat is older, she will have access to the utility. I could lock her in there, but it's not kitten safe and there are quite a few hazards. (As it happens, we DID get her really young... I think 5-6 weeks... I was told she was older, but the vet disagreed... She is currently cuddled up with DD on her bed :-)

And, yes, I don't feel I can overrule DH... Once he's decided on something, it's pretty pointless.

OP posts:

incogKNEEto · 24/08/2015 09:02

We had that exact sofa when I was a child it had stuff spilt on it, two litters of kittens were born on it and our gerbils made a nest in the back of it when they escaped! Your dh is being unreasonable.

ooerrmissus · 24/08/2015 09:15

Your DH is being a twit.

Try Emmaus for the sofa. They collect household goods, do them up if necessary, and sell them. It provides work and an income and accommodation for homeless people and recovering addicts.

sooperdooper · 24/08/2015 09:20

And, yes, I don't feel I can overrule DH... Once he's decided on something, it's pretty pointless.

This is your issue, not the cat or the sofa, what will he decide to rule on next that you have no say in? He doesn't see you as an equal partner :(

Original poster

Iamatotalandutteridiot · 24/08/2015 09:33

I don't disagree Sooper

There are many times I don't feel like a partner at all... more of a housekeeper / nanny / cleaner, but to be fair... that's another issue completely.

OP posts:

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