How do I toilet train my 2.5 ds? AIBU to admit I don't know where to start?

[GlitteringJasper]

Feel like worst mum in world but my 2.5 year old ds isn't toilet trained when his other friends are.

I've bought potty, steps pull ups etc but I really don't know where to start.

I put him on the toilet and he likes it but he won't do anything in it and after a while asks to get off it.

I always thought he's be able to tell me before he needed to pee etc but speech us v poor so that's no likely.

I don't know what to do to do it.

Please help, what worked for you?'

My dd is 2.5 Id say less than half of her friends are potty trained so I'm not overly concerned. I'm about to start trying now as she ms showing signs she might be ready.

Do you think he's ready op? 2.5 is still young. I know children who weren't potty trained until 3.5. Absolutely nothing to feel guilty about!
Both my boys were potty trained at 2yrs 11 months, they were nowhere near ready at 2.5.
Try sitting him on the potty every half hour or so to start with, explain what it's for, if he does a wee in it then give him lots of praise. If he doesn't seem to have the control or isn't "getting it" after a couple of days then stop and wait a few weeks/months before trying again.
Some accidents are expected but if you're constantly mopping up wee then he isn't ready.

If you hadn't already bought a potty if suggest letting your DS choose his own. Can he choose some pants? I would get a loo seat as well.

My DS is 2.10 now. We did a pre-bath potty wee for ages, it was part of our routine after he got undressed. Then over time we talked about how he'd be wearing pants soon. One morning in July he woke up and said he wanted to use the potty. "Brilliant!" we thought. "He's cracked it! No training necessary!"

Six weeks on and I'll say it's been up and down. He likes the pants, usually wees on the potty, can communicate, knows when he wants to wee but unfortunately will rarely say - just run off and hide once in my wardrobe so we were still having an accident most days. But as it was his idea we have wanted to encourage him. We have just kept saying "it's time to sit on the potty now" at intervals (a tip I read was to tell rather than ask as its a while before they fully understand what you mean by "do you need to go?") Before meals is a good one to get into a routine of but we've also been led by him - we noticed he needs to wee more in the mornings than later on so we suggest it every half an hour or so.

Last week I was ready to give up but this week he has started to ask to go to the toilet, so it feels like we are getting somewhere at last.

Other things that helped:

• Pirate Pete's Potty book
• Sticker chart and prize
• Occasional bribery (eg biscuit) if we really need to leave the house!
• Travel potty (most of my friends use potette but DS hated it - a friend gave us a My Carry Potty and that's been much more successful.
• He loves my phone but it absorbs his attention too much causing accidents so we've made sure that's unavailable.
• Crazy amounts of patience but also not beating yourself up if you get cross once in a while eg when your wardrobe has been weed in - it's a tough process!

DisappointedOne
Lots and lots and lots and lots and lots of evidence that it's not at all best to "push them" before they're ready. Did you expect your 6 month old to walk?!

What a daft question. Of course I didn't expect my DC to walk at 6 months just as I didn't expect them to be potty trained at X months.

The reason for not waiting until you child tells you they are ready to be potty trained is that many of them are ready months before. So you can save yourself and them months of them having to wear nappies. It's in their interests. It might take a bit of work but it's worth it.

Also, as I carefully explained, when I say I pushed my DC I wasn't exactly talking about beating them .

My boys were also nearer 3 and it was so easy. Pretty much done in 48 hours and very very few accidents. I think if you do it too early then accidents become the 'norm' for them and the whole process takes an age for them to be properly reliable and for you not to need to take out multiple changes of clothes. Speech and understanding is definitely key and as someone else said I think it is fine to show your disappointment at accidents but maybe that is also only ok when they are that bit older.

Maybe he isn't ready. My 2.8 year old DD2 was toilet trained at 2.3 but DD1 was not trained until just after her 4th birthday!! She is a NT child, no SEN she just refused to do it then one day decided to come out of nappies and was sorted in a week. DD2 saw DD1 using toilet and basically trained herself. DD2 did have a few accidents in the first month or so but now rarely has any (maybe once a month if very tired or has drink loads of water or something).

Most of my friends DC of 2.5 are NOT toilet trained so I think you need to leave it for a bit and not worry.

Nothing wrong with not knowing how to do something.

I started mine off just by letting them wander round without a nappy on. I put a pvc mat down when I had a carpet. That way they could actually see and be aware that sometimes something came out! Got them on the potty asap and praised them to the skies. It takes a while but they get the association eventually. My ds was slow with language too.

You do get accidents, when they're more interested in what they're doing, all's I said was 'oh dear, never mind, try again next time'. Worked for me.

You're not a bad mum for not having potty trained him yet. DD didn't (she absolutely refused to) start potty training until just before her 3rd birthday, this Easter. She's mostly dry & clean during the day now at home & nursery, but won't go out to strange places without a pullup. She holds on, won't tell us when she needs to go then eventually has an accident. Won't use the toilet even with a potty seat on. We couldn't wait any longer before potty training as she's in the biggest size of nappies already, she's very big & tall for her age & looks about 5.

Once you think he's ready (and it sounds like he might he), give lots of praise for any positive behaviour, even just sitting on it at first, then progressively only reward the behaviour you want to see.

The reason for not waiting until you child tells you they are ready to be potty trained is that many of them are ready months before. So you can save yourself and them months of them having to wear nappies. It's in their interests. It might take a bit of work but it's worth it.

Who said they need to tell you? There are lots of non-verbal clues that they are ready.

DisappointedOne

Who said they need to tell you? There are lots of non-verbal clues that they are ready

Wow! really, I didn't realise

when he is ready he will get it really quickly. sod what friends are doing. does not matter one little bit. all kids are different.

anyway they may say they are trained but are instead catching the wee at regualr intervals and the child is only having one or two accidents a day which is not really trained. (this is what my friend claimed)

and so what if they are really trained. some kids are really early.

mine stayed in pull ups until they got it. we had potties, they were encouraged to go, but it was not a big deal at all. life has enough stress without mopping up several accidents a day and washing sofas and carpets and bedding. we have no garden to train in either.

best advice would be to pay little heed to the pressure and implied critiscms and go for it when you think he is ready in whichever way means least stress to you all.

Wait until he's ready, forget what everyone else has done.

We didn't potty train ds until he was almost 3. He got it within a week and is totally dry.

I also don't go worth the school of thought of sitting them on the potty regularly. I kept reminding him so he was able to go when he needed to, not when I told him to.

Oh and rewards, positive reinforcement and all that.