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To serve him his dinner for breakfast?

52 replies

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 22/08/2015 19:54

At my wits end with my 5 year old and food. He was making good progress with becoming less fussy until a month or two ago. I try to operate a 'eat it or don't eat it' policy but unless he is given plain pasta and sodding cheese to eat then he just doesn't eat dinner. I'm only serving things that I know he has eaten and liked in the past anyway. There is no snacking between meals and he wakes up starving because he isn't eating dinner. Additionally, it's just such a needless waste of food.

WIBU to serve him his dinner for breakfast the next morning the next time he refuses to eat?

OP posts:
chumbler · 22/08/2015 20:53

can he "help" you to make dinner so he's more involved?

lanbro · 22/08/2015 20:55

How about getting him involved in making the food? Mine are a little younger but love 'making' tea. We make pizza together where they choose the toppings, or a pasta dish that they can stir. I also make things out of their food to make things fun!

To serve him his dinner for breakfast?
GinismyTonic · 22/08/2015 20:58

I started a thread very similar to this only last week. It got better!

I have started involving DD in the serving process and I think one of her issues was that I was serving her too big a plateful. She tells me how much she wants and that has really helped me and her.

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 22/08/2015 21:01

No don't do it.
I was the fussiest of fussy eaters as a child. My parents didn't make an issue of it at all, I was served my meals, no comment was made on what I ate, it was taken away without comment at the end of the meal. No snacks. I'm now 30 and eat everything (except almonds!). I just grew out of it. I think it would have had long lasting effects had my parents turned it into a battle.

Louise43210 · 22/08/2015 21:04

I was once told by someone (an expert-ish) that 20 minutes is a good maximum amount of time for a meal to last for children. At school they normally have 1/2 hour - 3/4 hour at the most. So I would say 1/2 hour max, you're probably right to get rid of the plate by them. lol at his talking!!

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 22/08/2015 21:05

Thank you for all the experiences that are being shared. Any advice on how to deal with it when he has a tantrum when he is brought to the dinner table and sees it's something he doesn't want to eat?

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 22/08/2015 21:07

So the multivitamins are no longer, sorry, when this packet runs out - tomorrow- the shops just don't have any. But it's really not a problem because this food has lots of vitamins Grin

Also, you could try putting the food in a large serving dish/plate on the table for everyone to help themselves, or if you want him to eat some salad have a plate of salad beside your plate but don't offer it to him. If he asks then he can have some from your plate. Makes it seem like it's his ideaWink

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 22/08/2015 21:09

I should add, I do tell him what is for dinner in advance and he has a tantrum, then another tantrum when it's served to him.

He likes helping to make food with me, but it doesn't inspire him to eat unfortunately.

OP posts:
dontrunwithscissors · 22/08/2015 21:10

I was an incredibly fussy eater as a child. I wasn't just being difficult; I genuinely felt unable to eat anything other than a few foods. My parents tried the trick of putting my tea in the fridge. They brought it out for breakfast, lunch, tea and then breakfast again. I didn't get a thing to eat the whole time. Thankfully, they figured they would only starve a child so long. They were more relaxed after that And let me choose whether I ate a meal. I slowly grew out of it.

YouSmellLikeDogBuns · 22/08/2015 21:11

Mum did this to me once, I'm not sure I learned anything from it, I certainly never ate the meal in question ever again in my life so it's created a pretty good food aversion!

msgrinch · 22/08/2015 21:13

I had this done to me by my parents over a pissing yogurt. It did not get eaten. It went off before I ate again. The there was the wonderful time I was force fed baked beans at school. I won't touch/eat/cook them now, I feel physically sick if I smell them. It's caused major issues now.

Ragwort · 22/08/2015 21:19

I don't understand why so many people are obsessed with (in the OPs own words) proper hot food. Your DS eats quite a good variety of food, as others have said, just offer him tiny portions (let him help himself) and make him understand that he still needs to sit at the table with the rest of the family and try to ignore the tantrum easier said than done I know.

My friend had incredibly fussy children who wouldn't touch fruit, veg or loads of different things for years - they are now in their 20s, very healthy and in good, professional jobs & will eat everything. Smile.

babymouse · 22/08/2015 21:20

Don't turn it into a battle of wills. My mum did the whole serve it again thing and I wouldn't eat it. Or I would do a number of things so I would avoid tasting/eating it. I would stuff it in my mouth and spit it in the loo (like a pp's child), cut it into small pieces and swallow it like pills, sick it up and/or just not eat. It took me years to eat certain foods and I still can't eat melon.

Try not to take it personally and don't make a big deal out of it. It will pass. (I eat a wide variety of foods now, except the aforementioned melon! Confused)

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 22/08/2015 21:23

I feel that the things he eats for breakfast and lunch are not exactly a "balanced diet". And although I know this is my issue, not his, it's demoralising to keep throwing food away, especially when I don't particularly like cooking anyway. Makes me feel a bit "why do I bother" (oh yes, because of the "balance diet" thing!)

OP posts:
AndNowItsSeven · 22/08/2015 21:27

No it sound cruel to me. I would switch the multivitamin to drops though so it not a reward for not eating.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/08/2015 21:30

YANBU at all, as long as he's fed, so what. I do that to my 3 year old ds, if he does not eat his lunch, it will be put in the fridge for dinner and then thrown. Or if he hasen't dinner, it will be breakfast. It is heated up, if he;s that hungry, he will eat it. I am too tired cooking stuff that is only thrown away, what a blooming waste.

Aeroflotgirl · 22/08/2015 21:32

Ds currently survives, on toast, fruit, yoghurts, breaksticks, cheese. He just refuses to eat my cooked food. I am just not giving him treats like chocolate, crisps and bisucuits, unless Rich Tea or Digestives.

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 22/08/2015 21:34

Thank goodness you've decided not to; I came onto thread to tell you my mum used to do this. The same plate would come out for each meal for a couple of days until she thought it should be binned. I'm mid 30s & still struggle with eating disorders, IBS, & I hate people watching me eat.

AdoraBell · 22/08/2015 21:41

OP is he growing? If he is then his current diet is fine for now.

Regarding the tantrum when you tell him what's for dinner, could you try asking him what he wants for dinner? Without making it like he dictates what everyone eats.

How about the rest of the family, could you do a joint meal plan for a few days? A week may be too long in his mind, so maybe something like the eldest DC decides for Monday, then DS, then Mum etc and everyone has to try what has been chosen each dinner time. It might mean you get some Wierd and wonderful meals, or just plain boring some days, but that's okay, IMHO.

My DDs also loved being involved in the decision making process and food prep. They are teens now and still won't eat an egg unless it's scrambled or in a cake, meh.

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 23/08/2015 19:51

Little update; we had a roast tonight and set it all out in serving bowls. He helped himself to Yorkshire pudding, chicken and roast potatoes and ate them without fuss - swerved the veg but I'm not letting that get to me! Overall the meal was much calmer. Thank you for all the advice, hopefully we will have more of the same. Although, how bad is it if he choses to never eat any vegetables?

OP posts:
Lweji · 23/08/2015 20:19

That's what bolognese is for. :)

Keep offering different vegetables and putting them on the table. Make a deal of trying at least one at any time, and let him say he doesn't like them.

Make a game out of it. Say, who can get more bites out of a carrot, wins.
Try cooked and uncooked vegetables. For example, I don't fancy cooked carrots, but love them raw. Same with green peppers.

CoffeeAndOranges · 23/08/2015 20:41

I was a very fussy eater and for years wouldn't eat any veg or fruit. Don't know why and I really wanted to, I just got somehow frightened of it and then wouldn't try it. I think it was the smell of it cooking that made me want to gag. I sometimes wish my mum had been tougher with me as I wasn't really all that stubborn & probably would have caved. What made me finally start to eat properly was feeling very embarrassed at friends' houses when I wouldn't eat much or didn't like anything and just gradually started to force myself to try things in miniscule portions. Now I eat a wide variety of fruit & veg and you would never know I'd been a fusspot.

My brother on the other hand has continued to have an appalling diet, has become pre-diabetic and I suspect will never change now. His daughter, my niece, is also fearful of any foods other than her few 'safe' foods, hardly having any fruit or veg. She's 8. I just hope she doesn't let it rule her mealtimes forever.

I don't have children yet (one on the way) but I really hope I am able to avoid having issues like this. Glad you have had a calmer dinner today, hope it continues! I'll try and remember this thread in a few years time!

RabbitSaysWoof · 23/08/2015 21:05

This book is brilliant You already do no snacks which is the part most people cant get their heads around because we are a bit conditioned to think they are essential now, so you could just take the fun social bits and the ideas for upping veg intake and encouraging trying new foods. I found it really good for introducing salad and fruit, for some reason as we have a couple of cooked meals most days I neglected to introduce much raw food until my dc was getting towards packed lunch age but I found the tips in this book brilliant for that.
Also I would recommend trying (if you haven't) roasted root veg and sometimes melting butter into veg as a dressing, it goes down a treat here.

BlackeyedSusan · 23/08/2015 23:01

perhaps try him with more stuff in the day when he is hungrier and less tired.

tea time can be cheese sandwiches and carrot sticks. while you eat whatever you are having.

does he steal from your plate? (this was a strategy I used at one point, much to ex's disgust, but veggies going in is a wine whichever way they go in)

does he eat pizza? (tomato sauce)

making it a battle though is not the way to go.

AdoraBell · 23/08/2015 23:01

Really glad you had a calmer meal today, and that he ate what he'd chosen.

My DDs like some veg raw rather than cooked, carrots and peppers especially, and adding flavourings like lemon juice/olive oil/black pepper can help sometimes. Mine would never eat cauliflower until someone put lemon juice on it once, it was like a miracle Grin and olive oil with black pepper helped boiled potatoes go down.

Experiment with different veg and see how it goes.

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