Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Train W***ers

32 replies

Befuddled81 · 22/08/2015 14:34

Yesterday my sister and I had a lovely day out with our six (between us) children. We were both very tired on the way home and when we got on the train it was absolutely jam packed. Four children shared a two seat, we had the toddler in a pram and my sister and I stood, there was also an elderly chap standing, one bloke and two
Women all cramped in next to each other. When I looked through the glass but to the seats behind there was a young couple with their feet up on what I then realised was their rucksacks on top of the two folding seats opposite them. Now I appreciate that I was a little hasty and perhaps should have asked them politely in the first instance, if they would mind moving their bags but the fact that they actually had their feet up made me sooooooo mad AngryAngryAngryAngryAngry. Anyway, I said to them 'don't worry, you two put your feet up whilst we all stand here squashed into this tiny space', the following snarky conversation ensued in which they told me I was being unreasonable as their bags weighed 40kg each and they couldn't fit them on the shelf thingy. Eventually they made one of the seats available and I invited the elderly gentleman to sit which he did. When I told my DH when we got home he said I was unreasonable and that I don't own the train and shouldn't have said anything! AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Befuddled81 · 22/08/2015 14:36

Should have said the eldest who is 11 found a seat in the next carriage.

OP posts:
TheHouseOnTheLane · 22/08/2015 14:36

If they could lift them onto the seat they weren't that heavy...but you should not have been so rude to them. All you needed to say was "can you mvoe the bags please?"

SlaggyIsland · 22/08/2015 14:37

Not unreasonable at all, what a pair of cocks.

Sirzy · 22/08/2015 14:37

Like you said the way you asked probably wasn't the most reasonable but overall no you weren't being unreasonable.

FindoGask · 22/08/2015 14:38

Yes, it never works out to tell someone off like that. You'll just make them defensive. If you'd asked them politely you could have avoided all the grief and got a chair for the elderly gentleman much quicker.

Original poster
Befuddled81 · 22/08/2015 14:39

I absolutely know I should have been more polite but my DH thinks the entire sentiment of my argument is unreasonable. They claimed not to have noticed anyone standing but I can not see how that is possible and their protestations only served to annoy me more. I do know that I shouldn't have started with the sarcastic comment though Blush

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 22/08/2015 14:39

You were rude and sarcastic, so yes I think YABU.

They were unreasonable to use the seats for their bags

Not something I'd give any more thought to a day later though

WhirlpoolGalaxyM51 · 22/08/2015 14:48

Your DH thought you shouldn't have said anything? Because you dn't "own the train"? Confused

I thought it was quite normal to offer / ask for seats to be freed up if they have bags or feet on, you were rather sarcy which wasn't ideal but I can understand why you were pissed off.

JeanSeberg · 22/08/2015 14:52

Everyone involved sounds like a bit of a tit apart from the elderly man.

LittleRedRidingHoodie1 · 23/08/2015 08:11

The selfish couple don't own the train either and you were right to speak up.

PunkrockerGirl · 23/08/2015 08:17

YANBU. Some selfish gits people just need to be told.
Didn't notice people were standing, my arse.

bruffin · 23/08/2015 08:29

You didnt need to be rude. If youd asked nicely. And why didnt your dc give up their seats for the old man

EmpressKnowsWhereHerTowelIs · 23/08/2015 08:35

YANBU.

londonrach · 23/08/2015 09:04

Yanbu. I always now make a point of choosing a seat with a bag on in a packed carriage.

SoThisisMe · 23/08/2015 09:13

They should have made both seats available. I assume their other rucksack hadn't paid for a ticket?

Stokes · 23/08/2015 09:15

Me too londonrach. I don't ask them to move it either, i politely say "excuse me" and gesture to the bag which gives less room for discussion than asking.

Andrewofgg · 23/08/2015 09:15

Sorry, gentlemen, one ticket, one seat, you are going to have to move those bags would probably have got an immediate result.

Unthoughtknown · 23/08/2015 09:37

Yabu, ask them to move the bags no need for sarcasm.

beachdays · 23/08/2015 09:55

You were bloody rude. They probably didn't know people were standing because there were obviously free seats around them up until your group got on, as your DC seemed to find a double seat quite easily. They could have been chatting or listening to music etc and not realised. You should have politely asked them to move their stuff, and your DC should not have taken seats when there were elderly people left without.

LittleRedRidingHoodie1 · 23/08/2015 10:10

I don't think that anyone should have to stand - children included - whilst some people use seats for feet and bags. Aside from the issue of taking up seats, it is rude to put your feet up on public transport anyway.

Lurkedforever1 · 23/08/2015 10:21

Ywbu to have been rude in the first instance, however I imagine most of us have said something rude we shouldn't have at some point. And they clearly weren't very polite if they responded by talking about the weight of their bags. If I'd have been in their shoes I'd have snapped back at you, but still moved my bag immediately while apologising to the elderly gent for not having noticed there weren't other seats. And feeling guilty cos while I have taken seats with bags etc, I think if you do you have a duty to make sure it's not needed to sit on.
And Yanbu about the sentiment, just the sarcasm.

EnthusiasmDisturbed · 23/08/2015 10:40

Yes of course you should have been very polite and asked them nicely if they would mind moving their bags so those standing could sit down

Of course you were not being unreasonable but you shall always be corrected by some on here

Sarcasm is useful at times

MsTargaryen · 23/08/2015 10:54

You were a bit blunt but I'd say they were the rude ones! If someone gets a train with heavy bags that they can't manage, that's their problem, so they should be the one who has to stand rather than taking seats that other people could use for bags. If you've taken seats with bags, you keep an eye out at stations and if the train gets full, you move them. It's not hard.

Original poster
Befuddled81 · 23/08/2015 11:04

With regards the children, the elderly chap was standing when we got on, there was several people standing and one seat at the back of the carriage, I actually asked the chap if he would like to sit down and he was insistent that the children have it. The train was PACKED, there is no way they didn't realise others were standing, the amount of people that got off was way over the amount of seats actually available for use when we got on. I would have made my children stand if the elderly chap had accepted my offer, he was clearly in need of a seat more than them, and I resent the suggestion that I was out of order for allowing my children to sit when other adults were standing. I fully acknowledge that a more polite approach might well have been more successful with the couple (man and woman in their twenties), I was hot and very tired and way more snarky than I normally am, I just hate people on public transport who are so inconsiderate of others and the fact that they actually had their feet UP, was like a red rag to a bull for me.

OP posts:
Theycallmemellowjello · 23/08/2015 11:07

Not unreasonable to ask them politely to move, but very unreasonable to barge in there and be rude. If I saw a family standing together in a separate part of the carriage, separated by glass, I wouldn't immediately assume they wanted to come and sit next to me. I'd move my bags if you came to find a seat, but wouldn't move it pre-emptively.