To ask for your worst, most shameful misdirected messages/emails?

[pandarific]

At the age of 17, I once sent my other a text meant for my best friend asking 'if we should try and get some gear?' (I thought smoking was uber cool at the time.)

Cue a long, excruciating call, where I managed to half-convince my mother that it was slang for alcohol - still bad, as we were underage, but not as bad.

I'm getting hives just remembering it.

The "beloved cunt" thing is a Larry David joke. He puts in in an obituary for his aunt in an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. It's a good joke but I doubt it happened to anyone in real life. Especially someone who uses the word beloved...

My boss sent me a text telling me he loved me in the early hours of the morning.

Which was bad enough, but he sent it to my old phone which now belonged to my 14 yo DS.

"Can't stand professor x. His sleazy beard, sleazy eyes, brainless head, the lot" to Prof X. Who immediately rung me, furious.

What did he say? [agog]

I received one that I shouldn't have in work. Not particularly scandalous but very unprofessional.

I had been emailing a client in another country (USA). As something he had signed had to be witnessed by a solicitor in his country (USA) there was a bit of an email exchange between myself and the USA solicitor. However the USA solicitor accidentally included the exchange between him and the client when replying to me.

It was along the lines of - you know what the French are like/ they are all a bit thick over there/ they are too busy eating garlic to do any work/ they must be out waving their onions etc.

The thing was, it wasn't the client saying this but the solicitor - my shock was that one professional could talk about another like that and it was totally without cause. I emailed a scathing reply back and threatened to report him to his professional body, but did nowt in the end.

Godstopper You'll be in my thighs

I just woke the cat up because I actually snorted with laughter

DH and my older brother are next to eachother on my phone contacts. I sent a message of a...'certain nature' to my brother It was years ago and I'm blushing just thinking of it now. My poor brother didn't know what to say, just got a 'um. I don't think that was for me' text back from him and could hardly look him in the eye the next time I saw him!

My friend lost her Grandfather, and as I hit send on a condolence text to her, I noticed that my phone had corrected "I'm so very sorry", to "I'm so very dirty."

So very glad we didn't have texting when I was a child/teenager!

This thread has me in stitches!

I meant to say 'decorative CLIP' as in flowers and a hair clip! Something christmassy...there is absolutely nothing festive about a clit..

My mum was meant to be picking me up from uni for Christmas. She was meant to arrive in the afternoon as I had some notes to copy up.

Got a text from my mum super early saying "on my way"

Rather than text the friend whose notes I was going to copy, I text my mum with a text which began "my fucking parents, I am so hungover....." Thankfully my memory has deleted the rest

At my last job I received an email about me from one of the bosses saying "russian looks like a rabbit caught in the headlights today, what's the matter with her?" (It was apparently a requirement to have inane smiles all round all day in that workplace)
I replied asking exactly what the problem was, given that she was only at the other end of the room. She was mortified and, incidentally, a total A-hole so I took great pleasure in her squirming while I watched

Thank you Mermaid.
Findo I know this is a light hearted jokey thread, but that makes it all the more painful when people make a joke out of a condition like Tourette's. It's not a funny condition in real life, it's heartbreaking. All my DC have it. I am exhausted with all the associated problems, conditions etc. the medications etc, none of them swear! I don't know why people continue to think it's all about swearing. They have begged me to help stop the tics, but I can't. It's affect them In So many ways it's unbelievable. It's an invisible illness. They look perfectly fine but are not. I have lost my hair over it, so please don't use it in that way again. I was laughing along whilst reading the thread until I came upon that.
Once again I know you didn't meant to be nasty, it's just one of those things we do, until it touches us or someone close to us.

I once had a big falling out with a friend - turned out he'd been lying to me for YEARS about stuff that I really cared about. He sent a very PA email and I forwarded it to my partner at the time with the words 'God, I can't wait until we move and I can pretend I don't know him any more'. Only I didn't forward it, I replied. I actually had a true, prickly cold sweat when I realised.

Another time, I was with a senior manager on a call. The phone system at our work had just been changed to VOIP and screens kept popping up on the computer that allowed you to start or end a call. We hadn't had training on how to use it. We were on the phone to a lawyer who was being a really rude PITA and refusing to do his job. The call was cut off by a technical issue so we called again, and his phone went to voicemail. We left a message, then put the handset down and had a really long bitch about his behaviour and how utterly unreasonable it was. Only we hadn't ended the call on the screen and it was ALL recording onto his voicemail. He was nice as pie to us for ever after.

Not quite an email or text but this was before all of those were in common usage so I think it qualifies!
Mid-twenties. Living with boyfriend whose vicious snob of a mother hated me and made my life hell. (Example I was recovering from an operation, she came stay, so she could shag the bloke she was having an affair with - screamed at me for not making her dinner and the making her feel "unwelcome" - I couldn't actually walk at the time!)
My family were 300 miles away so I felt very lonely. She had finally done something (can't remember what now, I must have blanked it out) that broke me.
I wrote a steaming rant in my diary to vent.
While I was at work that day she had let herself into the house the boyfriend and I shared, found the diary that was on my bedside table and read it.
I came home from work to find her sat in the front room with a face like a slapped arse. Boyfriend sat there with his arms around her saying, "you've upset Mummy, I've just had to spend 2 hours convincing her she doesn't deserve anything you wrote about her....APOLOGISE!"
Needless to say I didn't - I turned and left that messed up Oedipal pair behind.
But the horror of arriving home and seeing her with the diary in her hands, knowing she had read it. I may have peed my pants a little.......

DH sent his mum a very silly suggestive text meant for me. When he got home he asked me what I thought and I was blank. He looked at his phone and just wanted to die.

We sat wondering what to do then his mum forwarded it to me saying she thought it was meant for me and apologising for having brought him up to be so unsophisticated and immature and how ahe admires me for putting up with him.

It has never been mentioned again.

DearDiedre... have you had The Chatwith your ds yet??

Jurysout for you and your family

I was very tired when I went back to work with a teething one year old.
I had a new young colleague. He asked me about something. I went to email my work friend about it.
I wrote "My boyfriend just asked me which procedure we use under X conditions, I thought we only had Y conditions, has that all changed while I was away?".
I sent it to him instead of her.
I have no idea why I wrote boyfriend.

He must have thought I fancied him and had some ongoing joke about him being my boyfriend, I honestly didn't. :(
Cringe.

Me, mum and sister walking along, bit of an atmosphere as mum and sister having a little tif about something. Mum sends me a text while walking along saying what an arse sister was being, but sent it to her. Slightly awkward as my sis just announced she had received it and let my mum squirm!

On two separate occasions I sent a raunchy text to my new lover, only accidentally sent it to my ex's mother, whose name was next to his in my phone list, I.e he was called say John, and she Joan. Once was bad, twice was just awful. Had to phone her to apologise after a text from my ex asking me stop it. Also had to rename her as Ex's Mother in my phone to move her away from lover boy.

Not me, but a friend - when you could send texts from email programs - she was thinking of ending it with her then boyfriend, and meant to send the message to her friend whose name appeared below his in her list of contacts, but of course her finger slipped and she sent it to him instead. He was Not Amused and dumped her forthwith.

Lulujakey - sounds like you're very lucky with your MIL!

New team member having a tough day so sent her note saying, 'don't worry, [boss] can be a right wanker sometimes' - sent straight to boss. Incredibly awkward. He forgave me eventually!

Woman in office who notoriously wore skimpy outfits comes in in very revealing top, sent note to friend saying, 'oh my god, [x] has actually come in naked today' - straight to her! It was in the days before smart phones and she was in a meeting, so I managed to plead with IT to hack her email and delete.

Also, I have the same name as the COO at work and my boss sent me an email meant for her about me. It was a very unprofessional gossipy email and hurt, but I learnt a lot from it!

Junior team member drafted long email for client and sent to me to review. I made lots of edits and notes about her tone, how to deal with this particular client, etc and sent back to her. She made the changes and sent on to the clients - with all my comments underneath!

There are more... I never say anything incriminating in emails now. It's just too risky!

Thumb She's great. She is very funny and dry and has DH totally sussed in her very teachery way.