Would really appreciate others perspective on this as just do not know if I am doing the right thing, sending the right message to dd etc. in a nutshell, she is constantly asking if she can buy presents for her friends (her own money, not mine) it doesn't feel right, somehow it seems a bit desperate? Or is it wrong I think that! She had a very close best friend since starting school who "grew up" very suddenly in year 4 (last year) and started being really mean to dd, seemed to kind of "outgrow" her and announced she didn't want to be friends as dd not cool enough for her. She said some pretty nasty things to dd, and it was a hard time for several months, lots of tears and I had to bite my tongue every day in school when I saw her old best friend.
Since then dd seems to have latched on to one friend after another, I might be partly to blame as I encouraged her to have other friends over etc as she was so upset all the time, but every time she clicks with someone she asks to buy them things everywhere we go. We were at a theme park recently, very expensive, very big treat and she asked to spend her money on a gift for a girl in her class and I said no, but I felt so mean, she kept saying, why? It's my money? And the friend is a lovely girl, but dd has already bought her lots of things, and hadn't had any things back (not that I blame the girl at all for that, I mean why would she?)
So should I just let her go ahead and do it? She never has much to spend, only a few pounds, so should I just let her spend it how she wants? Am I teaching her to be selfish by saying no? I just don't want her to feel that she can buy friendship, I want her to understand that her being a friend is enough. But I also don't want to dampen her lovely generous spirit, she is sweet and sensitive and I don't want to take that away. Dd is 9 btw.
I would love to hear from any other parents who have DC like this, my other DC are totally different. Thanks if you have lasted this long!