To not buy birthday presents for dbil

[Ahardmanisgoodtofind]

Dp has four brothers.one year have as little to do with credit possible.the other three we see often,one works with dp and is our ds's Godfather. Dd was born five weeks ago and ds had his birthday a couple of weeks after. One brother bought the baby a gift and card. All forgot/ignored ds birthday,not even a card. Same last year and only one sent him a Xmas gift.
We always buy each of them birthday and Xmas gifts and buy their partners at Xmas too (nothing huge,gift set or wine). All their birthdays are coming up and I've said this year screw em. So AIBU

Excuse typos/spelling im bloody exhausted

Nah, YANBU. It might be petty, but I wouldn't bother.

Do they buy presents for you and DP?

Get them, what they got you for their birthday, nothing

Do they buy you presents? If not and nothing for your kids then feel free to stop.

We've stopped buying presents for our brothers and sisters and their partners. It just too much. Between us that's 14 people We'll get them something for a significant birthday but not in other years.
Yes so in your words screw them.

We don't do presents for mine and dh's siblings. They get a birthday card but nothing else

Two bought dp a small something for his last birthday (was a big birthday). The one dp works with bought us both bottle of booze this last Xmas despite knowing i was pregnant but that's the only time. It grates on me because when we do see them they make out they are great uncles posting crap on Facebook and the like. and I spend months picking the perfect gifts for their ungrateful behinds

People spend far too much time and money buying each other crap/ generic items/ lovely agonised over gifts the recipient doesn't actually want despite the effort and hair tearing the giver has done...

Presents only to family and proper good friends' children/ children's friends for birthdays, and to own parents and partner is really, really more than enough IMO... There is so much waste and angst over gift giving...

People should ideally reach agreements though - no more gifts between adult siblings, let alone siblings in law... If they don't want to give the children gifts either that's fine too I think (the baby and under 3 year olds aren't going to know or care, lets face it) but its nice to send family kids old enough to understand the idea and anticipate their birthday a card and maybe a little something if you know/ can ask parents what they might like (but sending very random items like handkerchiefs or plastic tat or clothes in the wrong sizes/ unwearable clothes can be worse than nothing IMO).

Tbh they might be giving you a hint on the adult front - stop giving adults presents, especially generic stuff. You will be amazed how relaxing Christmas suddenly gets.
But yes, ignoring a small nephew's birthday is pretty shit.

I don't mind them not buying gifts at all,but a card would have been nice, for either our new arrival or ds (turned 5), and we definitely don't expect anything for ourselves. I find it quite weird that they don't even send a card, my family is all about making a fuss and susing Xmas/birthday as a way of showing they care, we know my dp was really part of the family when his gifts got way better than mine

Only one has dc, the one we don't speak to (divorced,doesn't see his kids) but we always exchange a little something for the kids with his ex (Just a token from cousin to cousin with a little "what I've been up to this year"letter/photos) if that makes a difference

Yanbu, just send a nice card.

Similar with DH's family. So now I don't bother with sending presents for them and theirs either. Fuck 'em.

(DH has 3 brothers and 5 nieces/nephews. DD is nearly 5, is the eldest child in the family and our only child. She hasn't had cards or presents from her aunts, uncles or cousins for almost 3 years, and her paternal grandparents can't really be arsed either.)

You said that your family was all about cards etc as a way of showing love, but not all families are like that and have little history of gifts etc...

My in-laws are polite and buy us a Xmas and birthday present, but they don't give each other gifts or buy them for anyone else.

Perhaps the birthday isn't on their radar. OH never remembers people's birthdays. Birthdays aren't important to him so he thinks they aren't important to anyone else. He has asked me to remind him when my birthday is coming up.

I am generalising here, but I think a lot of men just don't bother with other people's birthdays. Generally it is their wife or partner who remembers for them.

I think it is really miserable not to buy for your niece or nephew. It doesn't have to be a huge present just something small that you know the child will enjoy. I definitely wouldn't bother buying for your bil's in this case!