to think this is poor maternity care?

[cottonTale]

I had a baby two weeks ago. I had difficulty feeding baby and spent a few days in hospital. Whilst there I experienced the common baby blues etc and was quite emotional, I was very anxious and told the midwives this. They promised me an appointment to debrief the labour.

Since leaving hospital I've not seen the same midwife more than once. Each one I've seen I've explained I'm having panic attacks in the night. Each one notes it, then looks to discharge me. Then I was given an appointment I had to drive to which I explained I couldn't make as I'm not allowed to drive and don't feel able as still sore from section. So they told me to get signed off by the gp to drive to midwife appointment. Then they phoned me after I missed said appointment and I explained again that I had cancelled it due to not being able to drive. So the midwife said she'd discharge me over the phone I declined as I said I'm still having feeding problems and panic attacks two weeks after the birth, plus I asked whether I would be given the birth debrief, she said there was no note of this request.

I'm a lone parent and I've told them I'm anxious, struggling and could do with some support from them and advice but all they want to do is discharge me. I've had no contact from the health visitor. I'm trying to get on and feed baby etc but I don't find the maternity care helpfuI.

Aibu or is this maternity care a bit lacking?

Honestly, without knowing your full medical history it's impossible for anyone to say whether their care was lacking. I do know that our midwives are absolutely pushed to their limits at the moment.

Please do see your GP if you're struggling with anxiety. Do you have a local BF peer support group or drop-in? They're probably best placed to help you with feeding.

The early days are difficult. It gets better

It is very lacking. I had a similar thing. I went to my lovely friendly nurse clinician and she helped me out and refered me to support etc. She also kicked the arse of the HV who should have been round but didn't turn up.

Go and see your GP/nurse/nurse clinician and they will go through it with you and do tests for pnd and refer you if needed. They should also be able to tell you how to access support from local children's centres etc.

YANBU, I had a section six weeks ago and only started to drive last week. I also had a bout of baby blues for a couple of weeks and would have struggled without my dh as support, so can only imagine how you feel as a lone parent. There's not much I can say except it will get easier. If you have family nearby then don't be afraid to ask for help, it's such a hard time with sleep deprivation, op recovery and hormones, you need all the support you can get and it sounds like the midwife care hasn't been great.

The main problem here could be that, 2 weeks after the birth, maternity care is over. The midwifes have finished with your care so they are probably wondering what you are looking for from them.
At this point you need to get in contact with the health visitor to access relevant services and GP, for needed healthcare.

Labour debriefs, if done, are usually done months afterwards, 2 weeks is far too early for both sides.

The thing that bothers me most is that a new mother who flags anxiety and panic attacks ought to be monitored a bit more I'd have thought. I'm starting to feel a bit better but they have no idea of that and surely there's a risk of harm to mother/baby if all the midwives want to do is race patients through to discharge. I was under the impression that there's upto 28 days to discharge, two weeks is hardly a long time following birth.

Midwives can discharge up to 28 days. 10 days is what they aim for but you don't have to agree to that if you need care/ support. However, perhaps the GP and HV might be able to offer more effective support - especially if you are experiencing panic attack.

I hope you get the help you need xx

You don't get contact from the HV till the midwife discharges you (at least that's how it works where I am). When the midwife discharges you, she actually hands your care over to the HV, it doesn't mean discharge from all services. I found my HV much more helpful for mental health support, the midwives were only concerned with whether baby was gaining weight and whether I was physically healing from the birth.

However, they should still be seeing you at home really, all my midwife appointments were at home (also c section) and my HV saw me at home regularly until I felt able to meet her elsewhere.

The best thing you can do is make a GP appointment. The midwives are overstretched and are not trained in mental health. In order to access any treatment you'd need to see the GP anyway.

How terrible for you. I never saw the same MW twice either and even although I had no real problems there was zero continuity of care which I was quite shocked about. I would see the GP. He or she will be there for good and should be able to refer you to elsewhere if necessary. Go as often as you need.

Most mws will just come out 3 times the 10 days after birth and that's it.

I was an isolated, unsupported single mum with my first and that's all I got.

Unfortunately I think your expectations were far too high for done reason.

Your port of call now is hv/gp.

Birth debrief comes much later.

In my area you stayed in midwife care until baby was 3 weeks old and THEY arranged your transfer to health visitor care. I've no idea if that's still the case.

It might be that it's 2 weeks if baby is making good progress with weight gain, it's lost in the mists of time, but it might be that I stayed under the midwife for longer because my ds was a small baby and took ages to return to his birth weight. But it was definitely the case that they arranged the HV transfer, I didn't have to do it.

YANBU they are not listening to you.

Have you tried seeing your GP?

I think this comes outside the remit of midwives unfortunately and should be reported to your HV or GP.

Ok so it seems I didn't think about seeing the gp, sounds like that's the best option. I suppose it may have helped if I'd had this suggested by the midwives but I suppose I should have known.

You've just had a baby! It's ok not to know this stuff and YES the midwives should/ could have said this to you.

Sorry you're going through this and congratulations!
The care is lacking.
Midwives can actually see you for up to 6 weeks after birth (mine did) but most try to discharge after 2 weeks as they have a large caseload. They should not be discharging you if you are not ready and you were right to refuse.
I think you need a visit from supervisor of midwives to go through the debrief and to state your disappointment with service. Can they refer you to any feeding support? Maybe contact your local children's centre for feeding support?
They should not ask you to get signed off for driving to attend an appointment - this is appalling. I was nowhere near ready to drive after 2 weeks. Hope you get sorted and good on you for standing your ground x x

The midwives discharge you to the HV, which is why you haven't seen them yet. However you do need to see someone.

No reason why you should know. Have you checked mumsnet local? You really need more RL support. I found the first few months after my first baby utterly terrifying. But it does go, I promise. Best of luck

Congratulations on your new baby.

However, I think the community midwifes should have picked up on this and not sought to discharge you so quickly. Or alternatively this should have been flagged up with the health visitor to follow up.

Please contact the GP, but I feel that you should have more support from the midwifes (even if it was necessary to have a different one each time).

This thread just highlights what a postcode lottery midwifery care is. If you don't get anywhere with MW then ring your gp. I had a debrief 4 years after my first birth with a supervisor of midwives and she was brilliant. If a MW feels that 'mental health issues' are out of their area of expertise then they should refer you to the relevant agency x

what's a birth debrief? contact your local childrens centre and request a home visit and get booked in with your gp

I was unable to drive for 6 weeks and for a couple of appointments I had to get a taxi. It was a challenge but I found the taxi drivers were fab and really helpful.

Home visits take a lot more time out of schedules for them so they can complete lots more if people come to them.

I agree they shouldn't discharge you over the phone but maybe try and get to see them.

I wonder if a health visitor might be more helpful- mine was amazing and got me through a lot when I was struggling. You can explain when you meet them about problems so far and should just have one rather than see many midwives. They can help with feeding. I have just had a birth debrief only really felt ready around 9/10 months post birth. Good luck op x

I don't think the care is lacking, it's just time for you to be handed over to different professionals.