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To wonder how you tackle low self worth/self esteem?

14 replies

badgersandhedgehogs · 21/08/2015 14:15

Any ideas from anyone (I know I am shamelessly taking advantage of the traffic) but it's such a common problem that I'm hoping for some insights!

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FriedFishAndBread · 21/08/2015 14:20

Type in the area you live and talk therapy. It's a self referring service and they offer either groups or one on one CBT.I've had the CBT and as long as you through yourself into it and try to put it into practise I'm sure it will help. They also do a 12 session in depth at your core values about yourself which I will be starting next. cannot recommend it enough.


badgersandhedgehogs · 21/08/2015 14:21

Unfortunately I can't afford this at the moment - thanks, though Smile

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Katie2001 · 21/08/2015 14:24

Take a look at MoodGym (if you google that it will come up). It's CBT but on the internet and it's helped me a lot. It's a marathon not a sprint, though. Ask me if you have any more questions and best of luck.


GrammerPedent · 21/08/2015 14:27

The best thing for my self esteem is to spend time with people who make me feel good about myself.

My self esteem was very low as a teenager/early twenties but just spending time with positive, supportive people seems to have gradually built me up.

For chronic self esteem issues though, I agree that CBT would be the best course of action


Ginkypig · 21/08/2015 14:39

A lot of it is fake it until you make it in my experience.

Start on the biggish stuff like I'm a good person, I wouldn't deliberately hurt anyone Iv tried to be the best at my job parenting etc I can

Then look at how other people seem to see you as in

If Jane,john,Fred,Louise, (made up names) who is a woman/man I respect likes me or like then there must be a reason and even if I don't see it in myself it would disrespectful to her/him to ignore the fact she/him does see something in me.

Then look at the body image stuff and choose even tiny things that you like/can tolerate about self I have good legs arms teeth it could even be I like my nails whatever.

If you start small and steady and be relentless about keeping it up while at the same time ripping apart the negative impressions (even when that's all you can see) eventually some of the positive will start to stick.

It also helps about being honest about the things that may not be the best like I can be grumpy or I should look after myself hair eating etc better. So then it becomes a more overall picture. Rather than just I feel good about myself it's about what do I have to do to be the best person I can and what have a already got or achieved


PoshPenny · 21/08/2015 14:52

Start ignoring those voices in your head
Keep away from the ones who make you feel rubbish about yourself, easier said than done if family or work colleagues I know.
Surround yourself with people who like you and enjoy your company, keep the naysayers as far away as you can.
Think positive thoughts about yourself


RoboticSealpup · 21/08/2015 15:37

I'm reading this book at the moment and it seems pretty promising. (Don't get put off by the silly cover, it's a really serious book).

You can get a free sample on Amazon.

There is a lot of really poor self-help stuff out there so be careful with what you read. I only read stuff by people who have recognised qualifications and use references to other people's work.


badgersandhedgehogs · 21/08/2015 15:54

I'm finding the surrounding myself by people who like me hard - not that I don't have friends but they are quite preoccupied and/or a long way away.

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FriedFishAndBread · 21/08/2015 15:54

The counselling is free op. It's a free service you self refer to. If you went to your Dr they would tell you the phone number and to self refer.


badgersandhedgehogs · 21/08/2015 16:01

There is a very long waiting list for anything to do with counselling or therapy around here - plus I'm not actually registered with a GP right now although I can do so whenever of course.

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spanky2 · 21/08/2015 16:10

Roboticsealpup just had a look at the book you recommended. Just bought it. My cbt will be ending soon and need to continue my recovery from my abusive childhood. Thank you!


CrohnicallyAspie · 21/08/2015 18:13

Try googling IAPT and the name of your local area. It stands for Increasing Access to Psychological Treatments, and it's aimed at providing quick access talking therapies including CBT. In my area, you can self refer, and wait times are around 4 weeks for initial assessment then 6 ish weeks for treatment to start.


LightningOnlyStrikesOnce · 21/08/2015 19:01

Don't underestimate the idea of proving yourself (on top of all the above). Respect is earned, not just given. Think about what you actually respect in other people and try to live like that. If you're that low every small success is a bonus.


lilyb84 · 21/08/2015 20:44

OP I've recently started (free NHS) CBT for self esteem issues among other things. Yes there was a waiting list but better to get on it now and try some self help techniques in the meantime - you'll get to the top of the list eventually.

It's self-led therapy so they encourage you to do the work yourself but it's helpful to have a space to talk about it. They may also be able to recommend workshops or similar.

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