This all happened yesterday I've just been unable to post (between constantly crying, punching walls and throwing things- all while hiding this from DC's who are 5 and 17months).
Its all setting in now and feeling real.
Yesterday morning, Partner got a text. I normally read his texts- don't take this as controlling behavior. its normal for us. we check each others if the other is in the loo/bath/preoccupied with a child and when they get a minute just say "Oh jake text to ask if you're ok to go for a pint with him friday to talk about X" we'll even reply to texts for each other. anyhow. He got a text off someone logged in his phone under a male name, but this was definitely not a male. previous texts had all been deleted. the text read something like "Hi baby was great to see you last night, My sheets are still dripping ;)" I replied "I'm awfully sorry, i don't have your number saved would you mind telling me who this is" now lets say my ex is named john, she replied "this is *Obviously female name, this is john isn't it? you called me just yesterday whats wrong hun why did you delete my number?" this was early in the morning about 7am ex was bathing the kids.
I called my aunt and told her to come quickly and just get the kids and take them somewhere for breakfast, gave her some money(and told her i'd call her later to fill her in) when she came all while ignoring exes questions.
as soon as i heard the car pull out I hit the fucking roof, I went absolutely batshit. Ex just stood there a minute looking like he was close to pooing his pants then denied anything happened. I grabbed his phone and called the number. was obviously female. asked her (on loudspeaker) why she thought it appropriate to have intimate relations with a man in a relationship. she clarified that i meant john jones and then burst into tears and told me everything all the while ex was stood there. i told her she had a lucky escape and that she had obviously been kept in the dark. turns out they've been seeing each other and shagging for 6wks. i cut the call,launched his phone across the room (the phone I* pay the damn contract for so he can fuck to the far side of off if he tries going for criminal damage) I then told him to get the fuck out of my house (lease in my name) and promptly threw all of his belongings out of the window.
including his ps4 and tv, they didn't hit him unfortunately but they made an impressive mess
I hate him, i'm in shock. we were in the process of getting a joint mortgage and everything which im in the process of cancelling (our application had been approved but not yet finalized so i can still cancel not sure if it'll cost though still baby steps),
my income has now been cut to almost nothing. ive recently set up as self employed and made enough headway to be able to give up my FT job as i knew in hard times i could rely on dp's salary oh isn't hindsight brilliant I reliably make about £400 a week after deductions(which will hopefully rise in time) with a childcare bill of £260ish a week so i'll be looking into tax credits, i also have a big cushion in my bank account of savings so i'll be ok for now but i just feel fucking shit and worried.
AIBU to
1- want to piss on my exes face and
- want to curl up in a teeny tiny ball and cry