to still be worried about DD's teeth

[OneBigHeadache]

Bit of background which may explain why I'm so worried. When DS was 4 he had to have multiple teeth removed under ga as he had such bad decay. This included his front teeth. I had been taking him to the dentist since his first tooth came through, yet it wasn't until he was 3 that the dentist actually sat him in the chair and had a good poke around. At that appointment was when we discovered one tooth had decay. I asked if it could be filled, the dentist said no it would have to be removed. Over the next 18 months (the waiting time for extraction) I took him for 3 monthly checkups and each time there was more decay. The dentist basically told me that as long as he had decay it would keep making his other teeth bad as well. I felt so uneasy about this at the time but trusted what I was being told. He eventually had the teeth extracted and now his adult teeth seem ok.

Having this happen made me really look at how I was caring for his teeth and although I was brushing well I didn't know about the timings of treats (with a meal etc). I completely changed his diet and did become a little obsessed with dental hygiene.

So now to my actual issue. My DD is 2. When her first tooth came in I took her to the dentist. Regular check ups since then. When her top two front teeth came in they were bumpy and off colour. They also look as though they have thin cracks. The tooth next to her front ones on one side came in with what looked like a chip. Basically on one side it looks like a small amount of tooth has gone. Her diet is good, the only drinks she's ever had are water and milk. But her teeth just don't look right. The dentist has told me I am paranoid. Because of what happened with DS I am 'looking' for problems. Maybe she's right. She says it's just the way her enamel has formed.

The issue I have is she doesn't ever have a good look. I hold my DD and she opens her mouth and the dentist literally just looks for a few seconds. No mirrors, torches or whatever. This is what happened with DS and maybe it's normal practice. But as DS's decay was only discovered when he was old enough to sit still and let the dentist have a good look, it worries me that the dentist might be missing something by not looking properly.

The thing that has panicked me this morning is DD's gum above her front teeth bled as I was brushing. I was brushing with the same force I always do so don't think I caused it.

I'm actually really hoping to be told IABU, paranoia for me would be preferable to another DC having teeth removed!

Does anyone have any experience of this? Should I just trust my dentist and stop being so worried?

Or do I get a second opinion?

Get a second opinion if you're not happy.

I think what happened to your ds is unusual. Yes my dentist just had a look in when they were toddlers. We wouldn't have been great at dental hygiene at that age (much screaming at toothbrush) and they did have sugar, but neither of mine have had decay. My older sons teeth are more yellow but dentist says this is normal.

If you don't feel confident in your dentist though why not change dentist? I can understand why you are worried.

Has you ds got some adult teeth through now?

I've considered changing dentists many times but been put off by family telling me I'm being silly. Also, the three other dentists near us will only take on children when the parent(s) transfer over as well but they are currently only accepting private patients. I can just about afford the nhs payments, never mind private!

With my DS I was told it was extremely unusual to see decay spread that fast in such a young child, basically was made out to be a terrible parent who didn't look after their child's teeth. I admit I was a bit naive with diet. I thought giving raisins instead of chocolate was a good thing, etc. Apparently not! But I did try my best to brush well.

DS was a nightmare for brushing, it was a screaming, hold him down type of thing. DD, luckily, is very good with letting me brush though.

DH pointed out, what if I go to a new dentist and they say the same? Am I going to trust them then, even though I truly believe something is wrong. This is where the paranoia comes in, I suppose.

I just never again want to feel the way I did the day my DS had to have his teeth removed.

He does have his adult front teeth now, he was very pleased and they are perfect.

We have been with our dentist since DS2 was a baby (he's now 4) and the dentist always has a good look around, feels the gums/teeth line with his fingers. DS had a gum tie at the top (like a tongue tie but on the top gum) so he warned us it would bleed a lot if he fell and it tore.

He also fell and chipped his front tooth which needed to be filed so it wasn't sharp - he was 2.5 then I think.

It can be difficult for dentists with wriggly toddlers but they should still be looking properly to stop any problems early. If you are not happy then ask for a second opinion or change dentist, it is unusual what happened to your DS but you need to feel confident.

Please try not to worry. Our youngest son was born with no/weak enamel on his back teeth.
All had to be capped. It was an inherited 'fault'
Now he is 12 (today!) and only one cap remains. All his second teeth are perfect. Beautifully aliened too.
I remember when he had to have them capped, it was hell.

Anyway, last child , no problems. I had exactly the same anxiety as you though. Constantly checking, checking again...
My advice would be to change dentists one more time a fresh start . If you can find a children's dentist , all the better. It really is a world of difference.

I have a similar fear as my DS had a couple of fillings when very young and would never open his mouth wide for me to look in. His dentist, although a good dentist, made me feel so guilty. I was giving DS oranges cut into quarters; bits were getting stuck in his teeth and the acid rotting his teeth.
Anyway I changed dentist to one who is much more straightforward. His grown up teeth are much better than his baby teeth were but I'm still paranoid about them and worry about his teeth more than any other aspect of his health.

Thanks for the replies and reassurance. I think I'm going to call around some dentists and see if someone else can take her on.

We have an appointment next Tuesday with our regular dentist so I think I will be a little more forceful this time and make sure she has a really good look. I think even that would reassure me a bit. Rather than her having a quick look and saying 'No, all fine, it's just the way her teeth are. You're just paranoid.'

I'm the same Charley with my DC's health. I am not the kind of parent that panics over every ailment or bump. Pretty laid back and feel I know myself when there's actually something seriously wrong. But with the teeth, jeez, I feel a bit demented sometimes! I take care of their teeth better than my own!